Squonk. You know what squonk means, don't you?

[PerkingFaintly]

Go on, you know what this word means, don't you?

I really haven't just made it up.

I went to double-check before using it in an email, and, well, maybe it's not as widely understood as I thought.

But you'll know it, won't you MN?

NEVER heard it! How do you use it in a sentence?

I'd say 'wonky' or 'skew-wiff' or maybe 'shonky' (that's slightly different actually now I think of it).

Someone showed me the Wonky Donkey video a while ago. I LOVE it. Cannot watch it any more as it makes me almost sick with laughing

@blacksax

In our house we say 'on the wonk'.

So do we.

@hipposarerad

Can't help but notice that nobody has clarified what a dirty wank is. Come on people, put an old fart out of her misery

It's the opposite of a 'clean' one, isn't it?

I have trouble with this in real life!! No one seems to know what a squonk is whereas I was brought up saying 'that picture is on such a squonk!' 🤣

I think I rephrased as "the fixing's shoogly" in the email.

They are not, I admit, synonyms. But in this case both were true: it was hanging squonk because of the shoogly hooks.

YES Maxamill. Exactly that!

(Are you and MHarper my siblings?)

Presumably you're not emailing someone outside Scotland then.

They are not, I admit, synonyms. But in this case both were true: it was hanging squonk because of the shoogly hooks.

Appologies if I've missed it but are you emailing someone you know e.g. A family friend who does odd jobs ect or someone like your letting agent? Honestly I wouldn't have a clue what your email meant if I read that sentence.

Recipient was indeed Scottish, safariboot. Otherwise the change in term would not have been a change in elucidation.

It's on the wonk!

Yep a song by Genesis for me as well

It was indeed about a job that needs doing. I knew the recipient was Scottish, but I was seized by sudden – clearly justified – doubts about the universality of squonk.

I'm on the school run, googling Dirty Wank. Feels wrong, somehow.

Shoogly though? Are you sure that change helped?

Staying away from the Wonky donkey video though which is indeed the best one ever because I'm ill and if I laugh I'll cough and choke and wheeze. ☹️

52andblue - fair point, but I'd hope that a clean wank is just...a wank

Anyway, urban dictionary has an entry (fnarr) for dirty wank. It's very specific. As is the entry for filthy wank, which is also very specific but not in the same way

I do not think that word means what you think it means...

Yes a squonk is a vape which uses a silicone bottle to squeeze the juice

@uncomfortablydumb53

Yes a squonk is a vape which uses a silicone bottle to squeeze the juice

Yes definitely means this as well.

I know the squonk from a book of monsters and mythical beasts I had when I was little. It wept all the time because it was so ugly and this was the illustration of it.

@YesItsMeIDontCare Haha I was going to create a spurious wikipedia page for the hemlock forest definition to back you up, but found it does actually exist already: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squonk I just assumed you'd made it up!

(It reminds me of the time many years ago that my then boss tried to persuade me that Tower Bridge was a pontoon bridge by editing it's wikipedia page to say so.)

I'm also going to spend the rest of the day reciting "You know, the winky wonky donkey. The honky-tonky, shoogly squonky, dirty wanky, winky wonky donkey." to myself, thanks to this thread.

I'm also going to spend the rest of the day reciting "You know, the winky wonky donkey. The honky-tonky, shoogly squonky, dirty wanky, winky wonky donkey." to myself, thanks to this thread.

My work here is done.

I know I've heard it in a Steely Dan song called, "Every Major Dude Will Tell You".

The lyric:

"Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine."

Apparently, Becker and Fagen knew that the "squonk" was a mythical creature that when hunted could cry into a pool of tears when cornered.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

I thought Rick and Morty... but that might be squonch, not sure.

Thats what came to mind for me too. Squonch.

I would say it's squint not squonk

https://www.songfacts.com/facts/genesis/squonk