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Original poster

Today I properly lost my temper and feel shitty about it

143 replies

Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 20:01

My sons 16, autistic, was playing footy in park with my other 2 teen kids,

Same age kid lays into him verbally - mocking him, squaring up to him - my autistic son starts getting distressed

This has been going on for ages

I've never been there

I've taught my kids to say nothing. Walk away. They do this.

Except I was walking nearby today.

Saw it myself.

Literally saw red.

I can't explain it but I marched over. Said to my guys to walk back home please.

Asked to have a word.

Called the kid a prick and told him if he ever fucking started on my son again, I'd make known his relentless bullying behaviour to his parents - that plus his recent drug taking habit (common knowledge where we live). I was fuming.

But he's only 16 (nearly 17).

I feel terrible.

I don't know what happened.

I literally saw red.

I'm ashamed of myself. I really bollocked him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 21:37

He has a kind heart has our autistic son.

Rather than lack emotional intelligence he's astute. It's just handling himself socially and communication wise / emotionally he struggles with. Which this kid knows: and exploited.

Little prick that he was / is 😂

OP posts:
Waitingforthehammertofallll · 20/09/2020 21:37

You're a mum. You protect your child. Totally normal to react! As someone above said, it's instinct! It's our job as parents and this boy was being really mean to your DS.

Oldbagface · 20/09/2020 21:38

Your son sounds like a sweetheart OP. Sadly mine are more cynical and have battlescares from this type of abuse. Some people are just vile. Stay strong. You were in the right and never back down to bullies

Original poster
Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 21:38

Ps. I've never knowingly held a grudge.

I wonder if my son is scared his real mums been kidnapped and replaced with a lookalike 😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 21:41

I'm now thinking of all the times I've personally taken shit and replaying those moments with the lioness approach.

A switch has been flicked perhaps 😱

Who knew.

Inside, I'm maybe proper feisty 😁😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 21:43

Ps Still don't feel great having sworn at a 16 year old even if he was being a.... prick 😂 (that word is forever going to be etched onto my brain)

But I'm rapidly getting over it 😀

OP posts:
MJMG2015 · 20/09/2020 21:45

Well done!

It's what the little shits need! When we were kids, adults told kids off and kids got told off again if their parents heard about it! These days so many kids have been brought up to think they're untouchable! No doubt you shocked him actually taking him to task.

He's not taking this to his parents if he's doing drugs! Not if he's got half a brain cell anyway.

I live in a 'naice' area & it's very safe really, but a lot of the teens are getting out of line & completely obnoxious. I'd employ you to come & sort them out!

It's ok to be impressed with yourself! 🌷

mathanxiety · 20/09/2020 21:46

Go you!

And please give the parents a bollocking if they show up at your door.

Longdistance · 20/09/2020 21:47

Well done you! Tiger mumma came out.
Don’t feel guilty about it. Little twat will either cross the road next time or apologise to him.

MJMG2015 · 20/09/2020 21:49

Get right over it. He's 16, not 6.

I'm sure he knows and uses more 'bad language' than you even know. Prick isn't even that bad!

copperoliver · 20/09/2020 21:49

Good for you he needed it. X

SirGawain · 20/09/2020 21:52

@Iwonder777

Ps Still don't feel great having sworn at a 16 year old even if he was being a.... prick 😂 (that word is forever going to be etched onto my brain)

But I'm rapidly getting over it 😀

You couldn’t find any words bad enough to do justice to scum like this.
eatsleepread · 20/09/2020 21:54

Tiger mama! Love it. Maybe he'll think twice before being such an utter shit ThanksThanksThanksStarStarStar

OhToBeASeahorse · 20/09/2020 21:55

OP he is 16. He's not a baby.

PhilSwagielka · 20/09/2020 21:57

Dont feel guilty. You were protecting your kid, and these are teens, not five year olds.

twilightermummy · 20/09/2020 21:58

You did the right thing, don’t for a second think that you didn’t! I teach teenagers and believe me they won’t give one. Stay true on your promise of going to his parents if there are any more problems. Tosser.

Original poster
Iwonder777 · 20/09/2020 22:03

Thanks all.

You're a good bunch. You know that ThanksWineStar

OP posts:
mineofuselessinformation · 20/09/2020 22:04

You've expressed exactly the way I felt when my children first came into this world - that I would defend them like a lioness if need be.
And yes, the situation has come around in different ways for each of them.
Don't beat yourself up. Be proud that you stood your ground on behalf of your son. Not only have you done the right thing as a mother, but you've demonstrated to your son that this kind of behaviour is wrong and he doesn't have to accept it.
I have a disabled child and they've been the subject of some very cruel taunts at time. They've learnt (from me, I hope), that it's not acceptable and they are now in a place where they can challenge it for themselves.
I hope you had that stiff drink - you've earned it!
Your son sounds like a lovely lad. Smile

Keratinsmooth · 20/09/2020 22:05

Why has this taken until now? You knew this was happening? Wtf have you been so passive?

newnameforthis123 · 20/09/2020 22:09

Good on you! When you said you said "you'll speak when I'm finished" I actually got goosebumps!! On my life!

imdonenow · 20/09/2020 22:13

Don't worry about it op. Bullying is unacceptable anywhere and if that happened to my child, I would also do the same thing. I think you should feel proud of yourself as there are many children who suffer silently when it comes to bullying and when it's too late, the parents wish they could have known and done something similar or more to prevent their children from being hurt violently/psychologically.

mineofuselessinformation · 20/09/2020 22:14

Wow Keratin, what a helpful post....
Maybe because the OP was busy supporting her family and getting on with her life?
Or maybe she was finding this hard to deal with, but on this particular occasion it was the last straw?

Shizzlestix · 20/09/2020 22:14

You did the right thing, well done!

ArabellaScott · 20/09/2020 22:16

If there ever was an issue that I can understand someone losing it over, it would be seeing their child being bullied or victimised. Natural, instinctive, and in fact probably morally correct, in the eyes of most people. Yes, you swore, but you also drew very clear lines to protect your child. Fair enough, really.

However, I do hear you about losing the rag and it being frightening. I remember having this once, red mist (an elderly relative was lost, and the relevant people weren't helping), almost uncontrollable. It genuinely was terrifying.

I wonder if you are over stressed, OP, and I wonder if you need to do a bit of self care and try to relax and decompress a bit? Take care. Brew

BadDucks · 20/09/2020 22:18

I did a similar thing last year except the kids were probably only 14. I think my starter sentence was “Oi dip shit who the fucking hell do you think you are?”
I was in my massive winter coat, wellies, my hair was wild from the wind and rain and have to say the little shits looked terrified.

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