Today I properly lost my temper and feel shitty about it

[Iwonder777]

My sons 16, autistic, was playing footy in park with my other 2 teen kids,

Same age kid lays into him verbally - mocking him, squaring up to him - my autistic son starts getting distressed

This has been going on for ages

I've never been there

I've taught my kids to say nothing. Walk away. They do this.

Except I was walking nearby today.

Saw it myself.

Literally saw red.

I can't explain it but I marched over. Said to my guys to walk back home please.

Asked to have a word.

Called the kid a prick and told him if he ever fucking started on my son again, I'd make known his relentless bullying behaviour to his parents - that plus his recent drug taking habit (common knowledge where we live). I was fuming.

But he's only 16 (nearly 17).

I feel terrible.

I don't know what happened.

I literally saw red.

I'm ashamed of myself. I really bollocked him.

If it was my ds behaving so disgustingly, I'd probably shake your hand op. I agree it with a pp, it could potentially be considered a hate crime and at 16, you're well above the age of criminal responsibility

Seems like doing nothing wasnt the answer, he was looking at your son as "sport", horrible beggar.

If he is mouthy and nasty enough to pick on a lad with autism, then he has no morals.

Did you let him speak in the end?

@Marlena1

Why on earth would you be ashamed?? He's practically an adult picking on someone autistic. Maybe it'll make him think twice next time. You'd probably feel worse if you'd walked away.

This, absolutely.

You were simply protecting your son. Try not to feel bad.

I think that’s great OP. You are your kids defender . I’ve done something similar once (actually to a teacher so it was polite rage!) and afterwards I thought my dd would be so mad with me but she turned to me and said -‘you are awesome’. Shocked myself then too not least by my unusual verbosity !

Be proud of your lion instincts

I actually let him speak. One word.

I let him answer - yes 😁- when I asked him if he clearly understood that I didn't want to see or hear one more fucking thing with regards to him intimidating or bullying my son at the park.

I then reiterated after his feeble 'yes' that all hell would break loose if he crossed this line.

Quite what I meant. I didn't say. and don't even know but he doesn't need to know that

Turns out I'm a 10 stone, 4 foot 11 lioness 😁

Stop feeling shitty and feel very fucking proud of yourself - you did nothing wrong and he should think twice about bullying your son, or anyone else again.

You did good! Now get yourself that drink

It's that mother bear instincts. What were you meant to say, "please stop picking on my boy?" Good for you, I'd have done the same and I hate confrontation!!

Not exactly the same but I remember years and years ago, driving down the road. Two teenage boys were standing by the road throwing stones at cars..one hit my windscreen, didn't smash but gave me a shock...I was totally incensed. Completely unlike me, I stopped my car, got out and started screaming at them. They looked petrified and apologised. I've got no regrets... perhaps my telling off helped them stay on the straight and narrow.

You have nothing at all to feel sorry about. I have a 16 yr old son and if he was behaving like that I would want someone to stand up and make him see what a cock he was being. Bullying can't be tolerated - we can't calmly talk everything through. Some situations and some people need to hear 'back the fuck off...." some teenagers have an unrestricted view of entitlement that it will do them no favours when they get older - good for you you

Good for you!!

You guys are genuinely making me feel so much better 😁 and less like a swearing sailor 😁

He's lucky you didn't report him to the police for a hate crime - he got off lightly. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

My mum did this for me many years ago, I never forgot it. I was bullied mercilessly and she went to bat for me big time. Sometimes the lioness will roar!

Good for you! I dont think that was wrong at all. I'm much worse- at a park once a 9-10yo boy pushed my 3yo girl violently over into gravel and laughed while she sobbed. I marched over, picked her up then screamed at him to take me to his parents, absolutely roared at them both telling them all about how their child was a disgusting vicious bully who was going to be in prison before he was a teenager, and that they were useless, shit parents for bringing up such a little horror, none of them were fit to be around other people and they should have their child removed from their care. The kid sobbed hysterically all the way through and both parents sat with their mouths hanging open (I remember the dad dropped his ciggy and didnt seem to notice) then mumbled 'say sorry to the lady' and they all legged it. Once I'd calmed down I felt sick to my stomach and it still makes me cringe now. Never felt anger like it. They must have thought I was completely insane.

@Iwonder777

I must add, I've never shouted like I bollocked this kid today.

I think I've given myself a shock.

Good!

Little sh*t deserved it!

If more parents stood up to bratty bullying behaviour in teenagers like you did today more would think twice before having a go.

Well done, don't feel guilty, as women and mothers, we are so bloody brainwashed into thinking it is unladylike or inappropriate to lose our temper we end up feeling shocked, when we should be thinking you did absolutely the right thing.

Well done, OP. You did exactly the right thing. Be proud of your protective instinct and that your son knows you will stand up for him.

You did a brilliant job, well done. Sounds like he needed to hear it and let's hope it sunk in.

If you would of done this to a 6 year old a different matter but this lad is 16/17 nothing at all to worry about .

I must say I respect you! Because I’d have done a hell of a lot worse

Good for you. Honestly - you should feel proud of yourself for sticking up for your son. The whole “bite your tongue, don’t make a fuss” mantra is fine, but it lets the bullies and the obnoxious types win. You should call it out to show it isn’t acceptable. You did something important and right today....

@Iwonder777

My autistic son and siblings did go back and finish their football game though - without any further hassle.

Me on the other hand. I feel like I need a stiff drink.

I've never seen red like that. Nor been so clear with someone about what their boundaries are to be.

I don't feel clever though. I feel sick at myself. But I understand why I did it.

Complex feelings over this one!

1 it worked 2 the bully needed to have boundaries set; you did that

Don’t beat yourself up! This horrible person has made your sons life even more difficult! It’s so wrong, his parents ought to be ashamed and so should he be, not you! I would have done the same all the day everyday!