I can never leave my house again

[mylittleyumyum]

Nor can I sleep. Was woken by noises coming from my back garden. Lay in silence straining to hear. Heard a throat being cleared. Definitely someone out there. I swung my legs out of bed, flicked on the security light while simultaneously pulling up my blind. Except it was the switch for my lamp. I stood naked, confused and blinking for a minute peering uselessly at my own reflection, saw movement in next doors garden, then heard my neighbour (male) saying "fucking hell" and sliding his door open to go back inside.
I've been lying here sweating and mortified for 40 minutes. Shit. They are lovely neighbours. Fuck.

@user165423256322

So you are just a weirdo, rather than a flasher.

Gotta focus on the positives.

😂😂

Did anyone else immediately think of Father Ted at the Fucking Hell bit?!!!!!

Ahh, bless you op. We've all got a friend with a story like this, own it and you'll dine out on it for years. As for your neighbour, hold your head up, it's no more exposure than if you were sunbathing.

Bring up in a few months that your contact lenses are irritating you and how you cant see for shit without them.
So you sound like you didn't see him lol

@mylittleyumyum it does actually exemplify how people feel at being 'caught' in the nude.

Some people wouldn't give a toss, others would.

You've said neighbours are lovely and they would have realised it was a mistake as lights suddenly went on and you were confused. Neighbour obviously nice and showed embarassment.

It's not like you were putting on an Amsterdam red light window sex show or anything!

I just hope he appreciated your little yum yum

We changed our dinner reservation when on a cruise so the steward came to turn down the bed when he thought the cabin was empty. Unfortunately I had just got out of the shower and was starkers right in front of the door. And a family were walking past at just that moment. Not sure who was more shocked

I barely slept a wink last night, still got the horrors.

I don't have the bottle to speak to him about it, it would mean seeking him out to discuss it and I can barely even think about it without perspiring.

It felt like forever I was standing there blinking like a myopic owl.

The "fucking hell" was not of the "phwoar" type. More of the "fucking hell what have I just witnessed" type.

Do you have pampus grass on your front lawn OP

The "fucking hell" was not of the "phwoar" type. More of the "fucking hell what have I just witnessed" type.

😂😂😂

I believe flights to countries in East Asia where they have covid under control are still available, though you may have to quarantine for 14 days when you get there!

Yeah, just let it go. It was a mistake and he knew that.

🤣🤣 epic.I cringed so hard for you.And no you can never go outside again

I wouldn't leave the house, either. Maybe back to back self-isolations?

I’m so sorry but this has really tickled me neither of you will ever mention it again, as is the British way but you will never fail to be haunted by it whenever you try to sleep

Oh noooo :D

If it helps, I've seen my neighbour completely naked - her dressing gown fell open. We still do the polite smile and nod, no fuss, and it didn't bother me at all - she's just a human.

@Iamtooknackeredtorun

Was the 'fucking hell' said in a shocked way or more of a phwoar?

I've been wondering this. It could be either a compliment or an insult.

Just tell the neighbour the other side you think there’s a peeping Tom in the area. Then if (original) next doors should ever utter a word he’ll be shooting himself in the foot 😂

The "fucking hell" was not of the "phwoar" type. More of the "fucking hell what have I just witnessed" type.

On no! Does make it funnier, though!

Pretend you were sleep-flashing. Deny all knowlege

Lol at “myopic owl”, OP. I’d book a holiday pronto/ go to see your parents/ long lost aunt/ whatever.

I've been wondering this. It could be either a compliment or an insult.

I read it as shock, as in "oh fucking hell, I didn't expect that!"

Was the lamp behind you or in front of you? Just wondering if he just saw a looming silhouette or did he see your naked form in HD

Brilliant! Just tough it out and pretend it never happened!

Oh poor you, OP! Still it could have been worse, Flapjackfairy is probably still having the nightmares. (And I hope your DC is getting better quickly, Flapjack.)

OP I love you! I needed that laugh so much.

@Sparklfairy is your saviour. I would do what they suggest.