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Original poster

I can never leave my house again

147 replies

mylittleyumyum · 16/09/2020 01:34

Nor can I sleep. Was woken by noises coming from my back garden. Lay in silence straining to hear. Heard a throat being cleared. Definitely someone out there. I swung my legs out of bed, flicked on the security light while simultaneously pulling up my blind. Except it was the switch for my lamp. I stood naked, confused and blinking for a minute peering uselessly at my own reflection, saw movement in next doors garden, then heard my neighbour (male) saying "fucking hell" and sliding his door open to go back inside.
I've been lying here sweating and mortified for 40 minutes. Shit. They are lovely neighbours. Fuck.

OP posts:
user165423256322 · 16/09/2020 05:24

So you are just a weirdo, rather than a flasher.

Grin Gotta focus on the positives.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/09/2020 05:27

Amazing. You can front this one out.

I think the OP has already done that!! 🤣

Iamtooknackeredtorun · 16/09/2020 06:01

Was the 'fucking hell' said in a shocked way or more of a phwoar? Grin

dublingirl66 · 16/09/2020 06:06

Oh god poor you xxx

yecannyshoveyergranny · 16/09/2020 06:10

I'm sure you've got nice boobs op Grin

yecannyshoveyergranny · 16/09/2020 06:12

@Iamtooknackeredtorun

Was the 'fucking hell' said in a shocked way or more of a phwoar? Grin
I reckon it was a head nodding 'fucking hell!' and then when he got inside 'phoar alright' with a low whistle.
LadyH846 · 16/09/2020 06:17

Haha. Hilarious. Personally I would apologise for flashing him and say that you were disoriented and turned on the wrong light. I'd laugh about it.

tillytown · 16/09/2020 06:23

Amazing Grin

Timetochoose123 · 16/09/2020 06:28

Ha ha ha... this cheered me up. Sorry you had to go through it though! I think you could hit it straight on and say "sorry for unintentionally flashing you the other night, I heard a noise and turned on the wrong light when I went to investigate!" At this way it's knocked on the head. Oh dear you poor thing though... you prob made his day 😂

pussycatinboots · 16/09/2020 06:29

Look on the bright side, at least he didn't point and laugh.🤷🏻‍♀️

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 16/09/2020 06:41

ha ha

Jaxinthebox · 16/09/2020 07:07

oh this has made my Wednesday morning better! Front it out, explain nothing, I mean you could have been sleep walking... and you wouldnt know you had done it.

Yeah, sleep walking is what you do! Grin

Toilenstripes · 16/09/2020 07:31

@TitsOutForHarambe

It never happened. If you hear from anyone that it happened you can inform them that they are mistaken. The neighbour is lying. It never happened.
This in spades! 😂
PhilCornwall1 · 16/09/2020 07:39

@Jaxinthebox

oh this has made my Wednesday morning better! Front it out, explain nothing, I mean you could have been sleep walking... and you wouldnt know you had done it.

Yeah, sleep walking is what you do! Grin

He may ask if you knock on neighbours doors in your sleep (keeping his fingers crossed you do). 🤔
buggeroffvirus · 16/09/2020 07:41

You have made my day x

Frownette · 16/09/2020 07:56

@AlCalavicci

Oh god grief, you can do two things continue to walk around the house naked and tell him you are practicing to become a naturalist. Or run for the hills without a single backwards glance . 🤣🤣🤣
Oh good grief, someone I barely know suddenly said she was a naturalist about maybe 1.5 months ago. In the middle of normal conversation. I wasn't expecting that and said "ah, ok then". I've got no idea what she was expecting me to say but I'd rather talk about the weather or something!

OP just brazen it out! Sounds like a lot of people have had this experience. The horror will fade in time.

Walkaround · 16/09/2020 08:04

😂 I reckon he thought you did it deliberately!

bouncydog · 16/09/2020 08:05

Was he actually wearing anything - could be he was embarrassed you saw him 🤣🤣

Kernowgal · 16/09/2020 08:05

This is brilliant, I too would be mortified.

I think a few folks might be confusing naturalists (those interested in the natural world, wildlife etc) with naturists (nudists) though.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/09/2020 08:05

you can do two things continue to walk around the house naked and tell him you are practicing to become a naturalist.

Errr, naturalists don't go round with their kit off? Think David Attenborough, Chris Packham.

Mind you, it could be a whole new TV experience, Attenborough flapping it around with the Penguins.

Livelovebehappy · 16/09/2020 08:12

Reminds me of a friend who was disturbed by noise downstairs in the dead of night. She was alone, got out of bed and switched on the landing light. She stood at the top of the stairs and saw a figure at the bottom who couldn’t get out the front door quick enough. It was an attempted burglary, but she swears that the sight of her stood at the top of the stairs, naked (as that’s how she sleeps) scared him off into the night. So there you go ladies, you don’t need a Base ball bat, just stand there with your wobbly bits on display!

loobyloo1234 · 16/09/2020 08:15

Haha I love that all he said was 'fucking hell' before disappearing. When you see him next mutter the same thing cheerily and wave like nothing happened Smile

Lovemusic33 · 16/09/2020 08:17

🤣🤣 laugh it off, I’m sure my neighbours probably seen me naked (rubbish at remembering to shut the curtains).

Then there was the milk man....
Was the early hours of the morning when I heard the dreaded sound of the cat about to throw up, I grabbed the cat and ran down the stairs, opened the front door, placed the cat outside......looked up to see the milk man...I was totally naked, half asleep and it didn’t really register until the morning 🤣

eaglejulesk · 16/09/2020 08:23

Oh OP, I'm so sorry but that's the funniest thing I've heard today.

Sertchgi123 · 16/09/2020 08:29

Crying with laughing

😂🤣😭