Should I push to find the truth about who smashed it or accept it was an accident?

[SuspiciousSmasher]

Name changed as quite outing and will try to be brief.

I own my house - a few months before, I had replaced something broken in the house. It had been broken for around 9 months and it took this long for me to save to get a new one (around £1k).

I had to be away from home for 3 weeks. In week one, dp allowed his son (age 21) to stay there with his friends (dp was with me). 2nd week dp went back for 2 days and a night and the same with the 3rd week.

I came back on Saturday. Didn't use said item till Sunday but when I did, I noticed there was a massive crack in it and a clear dent - it's obvious someone dropped something v heavy on it and has broken it. It's unlikely to be able to be repaired.

Everyone is claiming they know nothing about it. I don't believe for a second that you would not know you had dropped something on it but if it was someone else who did the dropping (not you), you wouldn't notice till you used it.

I just want someone to say 'sorry I did it'. Dp says as no one is saying that I need to accept it was an accident - which I'm sure it was - but there are no children involved so these are all adults and I'm really pissed off no one is man enough to admit it.

You do know you’ve had a name change fail OP?

You can’t let this one slide. Tell them all that you need to know what happened for the insurance claim (which is true).

Someone upthread mentioned a warranty, and you indicated that this hob cover was fairly new. Could you try claiming on that? After all, several posters have said theirs has withstood quite big knocks, could yours have been faulty?

Sounds like a faulty hob to me, or at least not fit for purpose.

That’s a good idea pp have had, try under the hob warranty in case it’s faulty.

Worth a try.

I wouldn’t replace with the same type again btw, it seems like those things are very fragile. You’ve spent £2k in two hobs so far. Far better to get a regular hob for a few hundred quid that will last a lot longer. Unless of course they give you a free replacement that you don’t have a choice in.

Name change fail op.

So you know he breaks things and lies to you? Why are you with him?
Dump the fucker! He has no respect for you or your belongings. I bet he doesn’t break his own things as often as he breaks yours!

Where's the NC fail? Can't see it.

OP, what are you going to do? The one thing you know is that you did not do this and are not remotely responsible - even in terms of making the decision to allow your DSS's friends to stay. This is ALL on your DP. Of course it was accidental, that's irrelevant. It happened. It needs to be paid for.

He could look into the warranty. He could look into the possibility and implications of claiming on the insurance and cost that out. Or/then he could just pay up, persuing his son for a contribution if he wishes.

How do you feel about having people who destroy your stuff, leech off you financially and lie to you, living in your home? I'd be very uncomfortable with that. What of yours is your 'D'P going to destroy, or just do and lie to you about, next?

Of course, if your DP would rather live in a simpler home, without nice, breakable things, he could go and do that, couldn't he.

That happened to mine when a jar of peanut butter fell on it from a high cupboard. There's no way you wouldn't know it had happened.

Does your partner live with you?

It would be the last time any of his children stayed there on their own.

If I had to replace something worth £1K twice, of course I would want to know how it got broken and by whom. I would be pretty sure the person who broke it would know! How disrespectful to break somebody's expensive property and not offer to pay for it.

My husband blames any damage on the cats. We have a couple of bruisers but no way do they make the amount of carnage that he attributes to them.

This is putting me off an induction hob.

We are not especially clumsy, careless or of hooligan disposition but every so often something heavy gets dropped on the hob.

I couldn't live with someone who lied to me like this.

Do you know what the underlying issue that really bothers me about this (on your behalf) is? It's that your DP seems to have cast you as his 'mum' (the all-providing, cleaning up of all messes and making things right again, grown-up in his life) and himself as a child. Yeuch. How can sexual attraction work in a relationship like that?

I wouldn't care so much that it was damaged (well I would care, but life happens), but I would be so disappointed that no one would tell me what happened.

Like pp I think everything points towards your DP being the culprit, but again, it's not that he broke it so much as that he doesn't have the decency to say so that is really concerning.

My mums broken two dropping glass 1l bottles of olive oil on them. Her excuse is that they get slippery.

My dad doesn't let her buy the fancy ones any more- Tesco's one plastic bottle only.

Any chance it could be something like that?

So this is your house and your DP does not live there?

So it’s not the first thing he’s damaged and not owned up to?? Even though he knows you’re upset about both? He doesn’t sound like someone worth staying with!

I’m so sorry they’ve done this to you OP.
Regardless of who broke it, someone is lying to you and that must really sting

• if your DPs sons friends did it, then your DP would have noticed when he went back to stay and has kept schtum about it since.
• if your DP did it, it could have been at any point and he’s not fessed up.

Just out of curiosity, when is the evidence the hob was last used- can you see many takeaway containers in the rubbish? or any food waste items that would be cooked on the hob in the bin that could lead to the night in question? What about your electricity usage? Can you see when the oven would have last been used?

It’s not the cracked job.

It’s the lack of personal respect towards you.

Hob

Just claim on the insurance. And don't spend so much next time on something that could get broken so easily?

But there's excess on the insurance and then her premiums will go up.

OP, does your partner live with you?

@StarUtopia but that’s not the point though is it?

OP should be able to spend her money on whatever she likes for her house and if she has the good grace to allow guests into that space then they should have the good grace to own up and apologise for damaging an item.

It was either yr DP or his son and his friends. Whether by accident or negligence - it’s damaged. Either case it wasn’t you that damaged it. I can’t believe no one noticed either when it happened or after. Best case scenario is one of the friends did it and didn’t say anything.

They now don’t even have the courtesy to tell you and apologise and try to see if it’s Repairable /covered by insurance etc and offer to pay/contribute to the costs.

It just shows how little they respect you/your home.

If they don’t change their attitude in this would never let my dp stay in my home again when I wasn’t there and his son and friends wouldn’t be welcome again either.

In my opinion they need to come clean - even if it was one of the friends they don’t know exactly who and offer to share the costs - if it’s covered on insurance they pay any excess (bear in mind your premiums will increase for the next few years to account for it) or if it’s not insurance the repair costs (assuming it’s repairable) and if not repairable they pay for a replacement.

Ask him/his son if you or a close relative/friend borrowed his Car, laptop, camera (insert valuable item) that they had saved hard for and cherished and that person damaged it to the cost of £1000 whether that was by accident or negligence - would they be happy to just let it go, suck it up and pay for repair/replacement ?

Absolutely fair to ask them to contribute. I can’t believe he hasn’t offered.