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Original poster

Should I push to find the truth about who smashed it or accept it was an accident?

135 replies

SuspiciousSmasher · 14/09/2020 21:03

Name changed as quite outing and will try to be brief.

I own my house - a few months before, I had replaced something broken in the house. It had been broken for around 9 months and it took this long for me to save to get a new one (around £1k).

I had to be away from home for 3 weeks. In week one, dp allowed his son (age 21) to stay there with his friends (dp was with me). 2nd week dp went back for 2 days and a night and the same with the 3rd week.

I came back on Saturday. Didn't use said item till Sunday but when I did, I noticed there was a massive crack in it and a clear dent - it's obvious someone dropped something v heavy on it and has broken it. It's unlikely to be able to be repaired.

Everyone is claiming they know nothing about it. I don't believe for a second that you would not know you had dropped something on it but if it was someone else who did the dropping (not you), you wouldn't notice till you used it.

I just want someone to say 'sorry I did it'. Dp says as no one is saying that I need to accept it was an accident - which I'm sure it was - but there are no children involved so these are all adults and I'm really pissed off no one is man enough to admit it.

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 14/09/2020 21:22

Tell DSS to get his 3 mates round to sit on your sofa and explain which one of them it was as apparently it wasn’t DP or DSS so it can only be one of the 3 friends. If DSS refuses tell him you’ll call them yourself. He’ll more than likely fess up and tell you who it was rather than be embarrassed in front of his friends.

PegasusReturns · 14/09/2020 21:24

I’m with you OP if it was DP or DS they should own up.

If it was neither of them then it was one of DS’s friends in which case I’d be pretty irritated and not want them back

RedLimoncello · 14/09/2020 21:27

That's shit OP.

If it wasn't DP or his son then I'd expect the son to say clearly it must have been one of his friends and to apologise profusely at the very least, given that they were there at his invitation. I don't think you should have to just "move on"- you're owed an apology and it's pretty terrible form that neither of them seem to understand that.

Original poster
SuspiciousSmasher · 14/09/2020 21:27

That made me laugh @ChikiTIKI

I was so pissed off I didn't check the insurance but I will. At least I still have the bloody receipt it is so new!

OP posts:
krustykittens · 14/09/2020 21:32

Would I FUCK shrug this off without even an apology! They broke something pretty damn expensive and should not only own up, but replace it, seeing as they are all adults! My children tried to shrug off broken or missing items with a "dunno" when younger and hoped I would leave it alone. Nope, someone is responsible for stuff getting broken or going missing in this house and I expect them to apologise at the very least. It is not OK to break or lose things other people have worked hard for and just shrug and walk away.

sweetbirdofjuice · 14/09/2020 21:35

I'm in a bit of a LTB mood tonight so feel free to ignore me but it was clearly broken during the son's stay and DP hasn't got the decency to accept this and look for a way to resolve the issue.

That said, I am assuming there is nothing above such as a shelf of pans that could have fallen on it, or a cat that could have jumped up?

In telling you to 'accept it is an accident' I.e. suck it up, he is saying that you are not reasonable for wanting to know what happened and for whomever was responsible to make it right, which would hopefully only be by contributing to the insurance excess or repair bill, not paying the cost of a new one.

It was likely one of the son's friends. They might not even know which one but they should at least admit it happened while they were at the house and you weren't, and cover the repairs.

Not sure I would want to stay with a man this petty and lacking respect towards your house.

7yo7yo · 14/09/2020 21:38

It’s easy for him to say! He hasn’t paid for it.
Ask him to pay for half of it.
It’s him or his son and friends!
Whose house is it?
Things get broken, it happens but not owning up is disrespectful! And they wouldn’t be allowed to stay in my house when I wasn’t there and neither would dp.

TooTrueToBeGood · 14/09/2020 21:38

You have a DP issue. He lent out your home to his son and mates and from what you say you didn't really have a choice. Now you're a grand out and as far as he's concerned you just have to suck it up. His choices caused this so he should sort it. The fact that he is so dismissive of your loss shows how much he really thinks of you.

MJMG2015 · 14/09/2020 21:41

Tell 'D'P you'll 'accept it & move on' as soon as he's replaced it.

Him - his kid & friends. He needs to take responsibility for replacing it. Then given how little he seems to care, they can find somewhere else to live.

MJMG2015 · 14/09/2020 21:42

@7yo7yo

It’s easy for him to say! He hasn’t paid for it. Ask him to pay for half of it. It’s him or his son and friends! Whose house is it? Things get broken, it happens but not owning up is disrespectful! And they wouldn’t be allowed to stay in my house when I wasn’t there and neither would dp.
Why half?
RandomMess · 14/09/2020 21:43

I would expect DP to cough up for the insurance excess.

It is completely unbelievable that no one know when it happened - are they claiming they didn't cook for 3 weeks????

The corner of our hob has been chipped at some point - the teens aren't admitting it but tbh it wouldn't be obvious...

pussycatinboots · 14/09/2020 21:44

or a cat that could have jumped up?
My cat's a big lad, but even he would struggle to crack/dent an induction hob.

Quietly check with your insurance, but in the interim tell them if the culprit won't own up then they can share the cost between the 5 of them. £200 each.

fruitbrewhaha · 14/09/2020 21:47

Fuck that! they need to replace it. I'd be furious.

Original poster
SuspiciousSmasher · 14/09/2020 21:47

I also find it odd that dp didn't notice it was broken when he went and stayed there

there is something bloody odd about it - no animals, no cleaner

only thing I was thinking is if you weren't cooking on it, it is possible someone plonked down a very heavy bag of shopping (say) and didn't notice it had broken - it's that black type of glass on the hob so not immediately obvious - but the issue is the next time it was used, you would have seen I think (though having said that I didn't immediately see it)

but either sodding way, surely the minute you noticed you would have said 'oh bloody hell, I better tell SuspiciousSmasher that we've smashed her brand new hob'

I would - I just can't get why anyone wouldn't

it's one of these things that's going to haunt me to my sodding grave

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/09/2020 21:48

My cats are always turning the job on and off, hefty pair neither could damage it...

Do you have cast iron pans or something?

Elieza · 14/09/2020 21:50

I’d be asking dp for the money. His kids. He knew the risk. He pays.

If you go through insurance your premium will go up next year and if they find who did it they will pursue them to get their costs back.

AllTheCakes · 14/09/2020 21:51

I would be furious and not let it slide. Your partner is being a dick by not owning up or being on your side in pressing your son about it.

NotSorry · 14/09/2020 21:52

I reckon a heavy saucepan was dropped on it

Spindlicious · 14/09/2020 21:53

I can’t abide liars. I hate lies with a passion.

No way nobody knows what happened. Even if you thought you’d not damaged it too bad, you’d know you dropped something on it.

It’s not about blaming someone. It’s about the distrust caused by lying. Would I fuck let it go.

Notcontent · 14/09/2020 21:55

I think you have every right to be upset and I think your DP should pay for the replacement.

2bazookas · 14/09/2020 22:01

I'd find it hard to believe DP's son doesn't know who broke it and so do they all . How very childish and dishonest to cover up and not own up. But that just makes it their collective responsibility to pay for the damage.

I'd tell DPSon that you expect him and his friends to pay up1000 pounds .

DP's attitude is completely shameful IMO. He can't waive a loss on your behalf. If he thinks you shouldn'tmake the boys pay, he'll need to pay for it himself.

RoseTintedAtuin · 14/09/2020 22:03

I would say that if som is to stay there in future alone he can’t have friends over for a while (if it was dp or son then yes it’s irritating they won’t own up but nothing you can do about it but you can do something about friends that you don’t know doing it).

tenlittlecygnets · 14/09/2020 22:04

Wow, a hob? Surely no way someone could break that and not realise. They must have dropped something pretty bloody heavy to cause that much damage.

Op, yanbu and your dh is being pathetic and unfair. How would he react if you or your dc broke something valuable of his then didn't own up? Bet he wouldn't be so relaxed..,

PinkPosyPetals · 14/09/2020 22:04

Never let anyone stay again. It’s always a mistake to let people stay when you aren’t there.

No one cares about other people’s belongings, apparently

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 14/09/2020 22:06

Dp allowed his son and friends to use your home and they damaged it.
So Dh and the kids who stayed there get to split the cost of the new hob between them. One is bound to squeal as they won't want to pay up.
Then Dh doesn't get to let anyone use your home again.
Make them pay OP give them hell.

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