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Original poster

How old is too old to breastfeed?

244 replies

mrspoisson · 14/09/2020 18:08

I won't share how old my child is (still classed as toddler) but just wondering when it becomes wrong to keep breastfeeding?

It's starting to feel gross now, but it sometimes works as a great comforter for DD when getting to sleep, when sick or upset. Doesn't have it to replace food though. Eats 3 meals a day plus snacks.

What age would you say could potentially cause psychological damage/hinder development?

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 14/09/2020 22:02

If you're not happy continuing then that's the time to stop.

Phrowzunn · 14/09/2020 22:03

I’ve breasted two babies so far - both times exclusively for 6 months and then a further 6 months, gradually less and less until I stopped at about 1 year. That worked well for me and both my babies. I personally felt like it would gross me out if they could ‘ask’ for it. Don’t know why, just my own personal thing. If you can ask for it, you’re too old to be doing it.

wuickquestion · 14/09/2020 22:04

To actually answer hmmm I'd find school age too old so for MOST that's somewhere in the age 4 range. I would double take to see a child older than about 1, but I wouldn't judge as as I feed longer, but you just don't see it very often.

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wuickquestion · 14/09/2020 22:09

I didn't find it weird, but at age two I was just annoyed by it. Totally touched out. It does for me depress my sex Drive, and I felt my "baby" was two and was maybe a bit too dependent on me. My DS is still like this and I actually think it's prob just his personality, however I'm glad I stopped at 2years. He had a great run and his eating improved a lot too.

Viviennemary · 14/09/2020 22:09

I think it's fine to feed two year olds at night but four year olds running round just no. It's quite interesting reading people's differdnt takes on this. I googled it and one women just stopped feeding her DD at the age of 9. Just yuck. Totally weird. So I don't subscribe to when you are both ready.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 14/09/2020 22:11

Breastfeeding doesn't generally become 'wrong', one side or the other decides its time to stop. Simple.

I plan to feed my son as long as he asks for it. He's currently 22 months and I'm more than happy to feed in public if he needs it. I'll stop offering when he stops asking.

I mean if he's 18 or 35 it might be a bit weird....

yikesanotherbooboo · 14/09/2020 22:28

No correct answer to this. I agree with pps that as long as it is working for mother and DC then no problem. I am far from a zealot but mine self weaned at 11 months, 7 months and almost 4 years old. The children were different from each other ie I was pregnant when DC1 stopped, DC2 was never a good feeder and it was a huge struggle to keep going for as long as we did, DC 3 just got a lot of comfort from BF and had no little sib coming along to disrupt things.

Hailtomyteeth · 14/09/2020 22:36

Globally the upper age seems to be eight, longer if there is a disability. Info from books nearly forty years ago. There was some African leader after his first day out with men on a hunt, came home to a welcome feed from his mum. My dd was 4.3, her dd was 4.9.

Brieminewine · 14/09/2020 22:44

Too old is when they’re running up to you in playgroup or the park and asking for booby eeek.

MojoJojo71 · 14/09/2020 22:59

Until one of you wants to stop. My DS self weaned at 2, I gently encouraged DD to stop when she was 4. You may prefer to stop earlier or breastfeed for longer and both of those are fine, do what works for you and your family.

caringcarer · 14/09/2020 23:18

I stopped breast feeding each of my children after a year. I felt child was feeding well and I had given them a good start in life. I might have gone on a bit longer if I had a sickly child. I wanted my body back. When I stopped breast feeding I fitted into my smaller clothes again. It took ages for my milk to go away with youngest child though. I had to ask GP for something to dry it up.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 14/09/2020 23:27

@Brieminewine

Too old is when they’re running up to you in playgroup or the park and asking for booby eeek.
Not only did ds ask for milk, but he named my boobs and would ask for a specific one. Apparently they were different flavours Grin
ChanklyBore · 14/09/2020 23:33

If either of you genuinely wants to stop and isn’t being pressured by external factors - including but not limited to family disapproval, illness, negative social pressure, outdated ignorant attitudes about deeply personal matters, freaky ideas about child rearing and biological norms seemingly learned not from a biology textbook but from a particularly disturbing character from Little Britain.

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 14/09/2020 23:40

When their memories are formed and they are at an age where they could remember it when they are older. I would hate to remember being breastfed, I don't know why.

qwertypie · 14/09/2020 23:43

"They have one set of guindance globally and it plays to to the highest risk, always. They cannot give that guidance based on the lowest risk. countries like the Uk, where most mothers, although not all, have access to safe alternates"

Using formula milk, even in hygienic conditions, increases the risk of various preventable illnesses in infants and children.

GoldenOmber · 14/09/2020 23:48

Once they’re old enough for their pensioner bus pass.

Kokeshi123 · 15/09/2020 01:25

5 is the cutoff for me.

In societies such as the Khoi San where children are all breastfed for at least two years (until the mother gets pregnant again, in most cases), the last child of an older motherwho has no younger sibling to force the weaning decisionwill typically continue to nurse longer than usual, but at about 5 there will inevitably start to be comments like "You're too old for that," and the mother will force weaning, unless the child initiates it themselves in response to the peer pressure.

So I'm fine with saying that 5 is the cutoff point, given that that is the age that will attract "too old" comments even for children who have no external reasons to wean and who live in a society that is completely comfortable nursing toddlers.

I do not know of any society where it would be considered remotely usual to children nurse until they are seven, and I strongly suspect that these societies exist in the minds of "natural parenting" authors and bloggers, none of whom seems to be able to cite any primary sources to support the existance of such societies.

SBTLove · 15/09/2020 01:37

@qwertypie
unnecessary comment, not everyone can bf.

A school age child does not need to bf, they should be able to self soothe, no need to be a 24/7 martyr to kids, plus they don’t need it nutritionally

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2020 05:11

Using formula milk, even in hygienic conditions, increases the risk of various preventable illnesses in infants and children

Can you link to that?

Breadandroses1 · 15/09/2020 07:11

When one of you wants to stop. That's all.

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 15/09/2020 07:35

A paediatrician i knew was very anti a parent breastfeeding her 6 year old

LunchBoxPolice · 15/09/2020 07:51

I think 2 years is long enough - by that point the child should be getting all that they need nutritionally from food and you should be able to comfort them without it.

ChalkDinosaur · 15/09/2020 07:58

I hear the 'stop when they're old enough to ask for it' thing said a lot but... Why? Why are a child's communication skills be related to whether or not they'd benefit from breastfeeding? Babies 'ask' for it too, they just haven't got the actual words yet.

I fed DD until 2.5 and the fact that we could talk about it ending (she decided to stop for about 2 weeks and after that I didn't want the effort of building a supply again just for the occasional feed) made the whole ending process a lot easier on both of us.

ChalkDinosaur · 15/09/2020 07:59

Sorry, I meant why should a child's communication skills...

LolaLollypop · 15/09/2020 08:03

I breastfed DD til 9 months. Stopped as I was fed up with no sleep and also had terrible eczema on my boobs. Currently feeding DS (7 months) and plan to continue til he’s 1. Still no sleep! but haven’t got eczema this time so I’d like to continue for longer.
DD has just turned 3 and there’s no way I could imagine feeding her now! She’s such a sassy little lady, to imagine her sucking on my nipple would feel weird, for me. I’m completely for breastfeeding babies but for me, like some mums, extended BF is not for us. Everyone feels different about their own experience.