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Original poster

How old is too old to breastfeed?

244 replies

mrspoisson · 14/09/2020 18:08

I won't share how old my child is (still classed as toddler) but just wondering when it becomes wrong to keep breastfeeding?

It's starting to feel gross now, but it sometimes works as a great comforter for DD when getting to sleep, when sick or upset. Doesn't have it to replace food though. Eats 3 meals a day plus snacks.

What age would you say could potentially cause psychological damage/hinder development?

OP posts:
MrsMcMuffins · 14/09/2020 21:11

I would say school age maybe. As long as you like. I was personally fed up at the age of 2.

qwertypie · 14/09/2020 21:14

@VickySunshine

When they start growing teeth, 6 months.
Doesn't make a lot of sense from an evolutionary perspective though...

If you are starting to experience feelings of aversion, don't feel like you have to continue.

rayoflightboy · 14/09/2020 21:19

I stopped at my last baby at about 18 months.But by that stage i had been bf for years.I was just so touched out.

I think if you want it to stop.then do it gradual.If its morning and evening,get someone else to do the routines.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
momtoboys · 14/09/2020 21:19

I once sat next to a family in a restaurant that had two children - one looked to be 4 or so. The child would sit in her chair, eat a few bites of spaghetti, get out of her chair, walk over to her mother where the mom would whip her breast out and the child would take a few sips and then go back to her dinner. I breastfed most of my kids and that was odd even for me.

OhToBeASeahorse · 14/09/2020 21:20

@VickySunshine you realise that there is no standard age for first teeth? Some get them at just a couple of months...

PolarBearStrength · 14/09/2020 21:23

[quote OhToBeASeahorse]@VickySunshine you realise that there is no standard age for first teeth? Some get them at just a couple of months...[/quote]
Or are born with them!

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2020 21:25

@VirginiaWolverine

No, WHO gives 2 years as the minimum length of time for breastfeeding, and that it should continue after that for as long as the mother and child both want to.
Have you actually read the who guidance in detail and why they recommend up to two years? It is because it’s global guidance and many many millions of children are born in developing countries where there is no way to sterilise bottles etc and the risk to the child of infection is high if they are not breastfed.

They have one set of guindance globally and it plays to to the highest risk, always. They cannot give that guidance based on the lowest risk. countries like the Uk, where most mothers, although not all, have access to safe alternates.

The guidance will always be based on what children in developing countries or at risk need.

KindKylie · 14/09/2020 21:27

I remember feeling weird feeding dc1 when she was over a year - because other people made me feel that way, but I then met people who were still feeding their 2 or 3 yr olds who were completely OK with it and it opened my eyes! I realised we'd stopped because I felt we should, not because either of us were ready to.

I fed dc 2 and 3 for much longer and they naturally self weaned between 3 and 4.

My greatest regret is stopping too early with dc 1 due to societal pressure, not continuing with dc2 and 3 in spite of other people!!

My DC are far older now and they have only positive discussions about bf - they're not in any way negatively affected by having been 'older' when they fed. They understand that it's not only tiny babies who bf and that bf is not just about food, but comfort and connection too.

I've learned a lot through parenting - mostly that other people's opinions are largely unimportant and going by your gut is normally the thing that stops you regretting stuff later.

Lockdownseperation · 14/09/2020 21:33

@Pipandmum

Child number one had to be weaned at five months as going back to work. Child number two self weaned on the night before her first birthday. I always thought a baby getting teeth was mother nature's way of saying stop!
That doesn’t make logical sense a baby with one tooth is fat to young to get all their nutrition from food. Where else would ‘mother nature’ expect them to get their nutrition?
Thenneverendingstorohree · 14/09/2020 21:35

5 years

Natsku · 14/09/2020 21:35

If its starting to feel gross to you then its a good time to stop.

I'm still feeding DS who is 2.5, it doesn't feel gross but its starting to get really irritating, I'd be done tomorrow if it wasn't such a hassle to wean.

Thenneverendingstorohree · 14/09/2020 21:35

(I didn't breastfeed past 18 months, but past turning 5 is when I would think it is 'odd' rather than just a different choice)

Thenneverendingstorohree · 14/09/2020 21:37

On the teeth front, there is a reason we call baby teeth milk teeth. In evolutionary terms when children lose their milk teeth is when humans would have stopped breastfeeding.

wellerhugs5 · 14/09/2020 21:38

@AriettyHomily

You're brave
Grin
JenniferSantoro · 14/09/2020 21:42

@dannydyerismydad

Mother and child are a dyad.

You can't force a child to breastfeed if they don't want to, but the child will natural self wean between 2 and 7.

If you're not comfortable any more you could try the not offering, not refusing method and gently start talking to your little one about milk being very special to help them grow when they were a baby and now they are getting bigger they soon won't need it any more.

7😳 Jesus that is just weird!
Bluntness100 · 14/09/2020 21:44

@Thenneverendingstorohree

On the teeth front, there is a reason we call baby teeth milk teeth. In evolutionary terms when children lose their milk teeth is when humans would have stopped breastfeeding.
Children have baby teeth because their jaws are too small for adult teeth and because they need them to chew and for speech and oral development. That’s why they come in at about six months, when babies are starting to eat solids.

However physically we keep these teeth till our jaws have developed enough and are strong enough/big enough to take permanent teeth, In the meant time baby teeth hold the space available until the permanent tooth comes through.

It’s not anything to do with breast feeding. They are there so a child can chew and develop speech but there jaws are too small for adult teeth. They serve an important function but breast feeding isn’t one of them.

Itllbeaninterestingchristmas · 14/09/2020 21:47

I stopped at 2 years 9 months. He fed every two or three days. I’d just had enough his latch had changed, he didn’t need it so I kept shortening the feeds and then said there wasn’t any more. He’s just 3 and it would be really weird to feed him now but that’s just me. I know plenty who fed for longer and plenty who fed for shorter times
Just stop when you’re ready

JMAngel1 · 14/09/2020 21:49

When they're old enough to ask for it, it's time to stop.

Terrace58 · 14/09/2020 21:50

When one half of the partnership is ready to be done.

I stopped just after 3.

NanooCov · 14/09/2020 21:54

DS1 was 2 years 3 months - he was down to only one feed a day at bedtime and I was touched out as I was pregnant with DS2 so we stopped. He was ready, as was I.

DS2 is 2 years 10 months and still going. I abandoned "don't offer, don't refuse" as it wasn't working (he asks a lot!) and I'm ready to stop. About ten days ago we stopped having any during the day (he still asks, especially when tired and grumpy but I just try to distract or offer a cuddle instead) and about three days ago we stopped any during the night (he often climbs into our bed in the wee small hours). So he's down to one bedtime feed, which I'll try to stop in the next couple of weeks. It's fair to say he's finding it harder than his brother did but I'm ready to stop so trying to make it as gentle as possible. Coincidentally, I'm going to have to have a minor surgery in the next short while with a couple of weeks recovery time so I'd like to be done before then, mainly for my own rest and recuperation.

Having said all that, there's no "correct" answer that you can apply to all.

wuickquestion · 14/09/2020 21:56

I went to 2 and tried don't offer, don't refuse.. he asked loads, so in the end I just stopped and explained no more from tomorrow, I had enough . Totally done by 2 years 1 month. He accepted it very well. --My boobs didn't and took a few weeks of painkillers and expressing a bit off to get comfortable.

I had tried to wean at 1, but it was way too soon for DS.

I have a DD now and will see how it goes once she hits one. I imagine I'll continue until 2 again, unless she self weans.

Once over 1, I didn't feed in public. DS old enough to wait and to take water and a snack. I did feed infront of friends relatives at home or others houses I'd say nap time and I'm sure they had their opinions, but I just cracked on.

Shmithecat2 · 14/09/2020 21:59

Those who think it's 'icky' or 'weird' past a certain age - can you articulate why?

morefun · 14/09/2020 21:59

I don't know. I don't find it gross. Just as long as you are happy to do it?

DiscoDown · 14/09/2020 22:02

Until one or both of you don't want to I suppose. I breastfed DC until about 14 months, they were only feeding morning and sometimes night by then, but I suddenly had a real aversion to it. They didn't seem to miss it, if they had I might have tried to push through.

TheSeedsOfADream · 14/09/2020 22:02

It's interesting how Mumsnet has changed in the last decade or so.

It would have been hard to find such nasty comments about extended breastfeeding back in the days of Tiktok and the MNer who went onto GMTV to tell "Dr" Hilary that he was giving mothers incorrect information about breastfeeding.