How old is too old to breastfeed?

[mrspoisson]

I won't share how old my child is (still classed as toddler) but just wondering when it becomes wrong to keep breastfeeding?

It's starting to feel gross now, but it sometimes works as a great comforter for DD when getting to sleep, when sick or upset. Doesn't have it to replace food though. Eats 3 meals a day plus snacks.

What age would you say could potentially cause psychological damage/hinder development?

@Bluntness100

And the definition of the norm is “ standard or typical” and it is not. Breastfeeding tails off as children age, and only a tiny percentage of children attending school in developed countries like the Uk are still breastfed.

Given that breastfeeding rates from birth in this country are abysmal I think the fact that that is the norm is far more relevant and worth debate than if a four year old still breastfeeds. Which mine does

Also if you can’t Distinguish a breastfed baby for a Formula Fed one How could you tell a breastfed four year old from a non breastfeeding one ?

You don’t have to justify yourself here. You do it because it’s easier for you. That’s fine. But no one has to agree that that’s the best course of action. It’s allowed to be discussed even if it gets you on the defensive. Most people are capable of having a conversation about one thing and holding several opinions about others. Especially on a chat forum like this.

Why do you need to distinguish between breast fed or formula fed babies? Who cares? You wouldn’t offer formula past the age the child has a nutritional need. That’s the only point regarding BF and FF.

I'm still curious because nobody's given me an answer. What damage will it do to a child to be breastfed until they no longer feel the need to do so? How would you pick out the breastfeding 5 year old from his peers? Would you expect to see a difference between him and someone who hadn't been breastfed past infancy later on, at 10, 15, 25? What sort of differences would they be?

Hes the one hanging off the breast in the schoolyard.

@MsEllany

You don’t have to justify yourself here. You do it because it’s easier for you. That’s fine. But no one has to agree that that’s the best course of action. It’s allowed to be discussed even if it gets you on the defensive. Most people are capable of having a conversation about one thing and holding several opinions about others. Especially on a chat forum like this.

Why do you need to distinguish between breast fed or formula fed babies? Who cares? You wouldn’t offer formula past the age the child has a nutritional need. That’s the only point regarding BF and FF.

I am not justifying myself to anyone here or in real life. I am not interested in that and I don’t need to.

I don’t want to distinguish between a formula or breastfed baby / toddler or child. The Poster I was responding to was making comparison albeit in the school yard. The thrust of my comments was that in terms of comparisons with breast and formula feeding the poster should surely find our globally comparative infant breastfeeding rates mire relevant for scrutiny.

You are quite right that formula shouldn’t be offered past nutritional needs yet millions of pounds are spent producing worthless follow on milks by manufacturers.
Furthermore I have to tell you as a mother who makes no secret nor a sing and dance about being an ex tended breast feeder that I offer breast milk to my four and half year old - alongside her almost three year old brother - not necessarily for Nutrition but for comfort and because when she asks for a feed I don’t want to reject her and make it feel wrong.

I think I u need to EE read my post and perhaps get yourself on the offensive with something that clearly has no resonance or relevance to your life. If you could do that perhaps you could read others’ contributions in a more objective and reasoned manner.

*off the offensive

And
@rayoflightboy these sort of comments are just singularly offensive to the child as well the mother. They also help explain the pervasive damage caused by the sexualisation of breasts and motherhood.

My four and a half year old daughter tends only to ask for a feed here and now in the gift or when she is a bit off colour. Should I tell her no because people like you make these sort of comments.

They say a lot more about you then my breastfeeding choices

It's strange when people say "over the age of X is weird". Most people, adults included, drink breast milk. Cows' breast milk.

@ac1302

It's strange when people say "over the age of X is weird". Most people, adults included, drink breast milk. Cows' breast milk.

Someone - not me - will tell you it doesn’t count because they’re not “hanging off the udder

Most people, adults included, drink breast milk

I’m sorry what?! What kind of social circles are you mixing in?!! No adults I know drink breast milk

To be fair, I don't think any advocate of natural term feeding has referred to it as "the best thing" either. It's obviously not for most people. Nobody, ever, has said that all children should breastfeed until 4 or any other age. But it is not harmful and it is not inappropriate, and that's all we would like acknowledged.

i find it ‘weird’ to treat a child like a baby

Really - I’ve known loads of ff babies and non-ff babies still having warmed milk in sippy cups or bottles in the evening until 5 or 6. It’s completely normal. Soft toys until puberty as well.

As it happens my kid who was fully bottle fed by 10 months was a silly cup aficionado until 6. My other 2 bf until 2 and 2.5 weaned and where not that bothered about milk thereafter.

It really doesn’t matter. 7 would be the limit as the adult teeth grow in and alter the shape of the jaw. But that’s rare even in cultures with high bfing rates. Two is very standard as that’s about the gap you get between kids if you bf and some children wean when they milk goes back to colostrum.

It’s a moot point in the U.K.- in the mid 2000s they used to struggle to get any data for bfing after 9 months as so few babies had any bm at all at that stage.

So really no need to get so het up over something I imagine you’ve rarely even seen out and about.

@Brieminewine

Most people, adults included, drink breast milk

I’m sorry what?! What kind of social circles are you mixing in?!! No adults I know drink breast milk

Cows milk is breast milk. Do you eat yoghurt or cheese? You drink another animal's breast milk.

@@ac1302 absolutely love cheese (as you can tell by the name) but I don’t personally physically extract it by mouth from the animal’s body so I don’t think that’s a fair comparison.

@shesgonebatshitagain Yes, you don't sound defensive at all!

Please accept my rewording "Why would anyone need to distinguish between breast fed or formula fed babies - I quite agree. That would be my only personal point on that." Doesn't change my opinion on extended breastfeeding.

I'm allowed to have an opinion on something that doesn't affect me. No one's breastfeeding choices have an effect on anyone except the mother and the child. I have lots of opinions on marketing and selling of formula but this post isn't about that.

@Brieminewine

@*@ac1302* absolutely love cheese (as you can tell by the name) but I don’t personally physically extract it by mouth from the animal’s body so I don’t think that’s a fair comparison.

Oh so by that analogy you would have no issue with breast milk being expressed and letting a four year old child have it in a cup then?

It’s just the act itself of putting your child to the breast past a defined age is it ?

Anyway, @mrspoisson I'm sorry for the derail! I'll hide the thread and not comment any further after this as I can tell what I'm saying is upsetting some.

If you don't want to breastfeed anymore, then don't. You win no medals for continuing past your own comfort levels. Personally I think it doesn't hinder development or have psychological implications unless you're not teaching any other ways to soothe (not even self-soothe) and/or actively breastfeeding in public when quite a bit older.

@shesgonebatshitagain yep exactly that. If a child is able to eat, and drink from any variety of cup, they don’t need to feed from the breast and continuing to do so to school age seems to me to be treating a child as a baby.

[quote Brieminewine]@shesgonebatshitagain yep exactly that. If a child is able to eat, and drink from any variety of cup, they don’t need to feed from the breast and continuing to do so to school age seems to me to be treating a child as a baby.[/quote]
The WHO recommends breastfeeding until 2

All three of my children could drink from a variety of cups way before then so your argument is nonsensical

@MsEllany

Anyway, *@mrspoisson* I'm sorry for the derail! I'll hide the thread and not comment any further after this as I can tell what I'm saying is upsetting some.

If you don't want to breastfeed anymore, then don't. You win no medals for continuing past your own comfort levels. Personally I think it doesn't hinder development or have psychological implications unless you're not teaching any other ways to soothe (not even self-soothe) and/or actively breastfeeding in public when quite a bit older.

The thing is how are you psychologically damaging a child over the age of three by breastfeeding in public if the only people outraged or repelled are other adults?

I’m curious

@shesgonebatshitagain
Yes WHO recommends until 2, but this conversion is about extended feeding eg past the age of 2.

@Brieminewine

There are also a multitude of ways you can “treat a child as a baby” that are far more psychologically and societally impactful than breast feeding past an an age “you “ or one might consider appropriate

Why precisely is extended breastfeeding babying a child?

[quote Brieminewine]@shesgonebatshitagain
Yes WHO recommends until 2, but this conversion is about extended feeding eg past the age of 2.[/quote]
So your specific point is contradictory then.

All three of my children could hold a cup and drink from it way before 2 and ask for food and eat it themselves.

Furthermore I think you will find there are several posters on this thread that would not even breastfeed until that age (that she being 2)

When my eldest (the one I fed longest, probably largely because I was tandem feeding him alongside his brother) stopped at 4.5, he was starting to lose the ability to do it properly.

I'm with BertieBotts: 'To be fair, I don't think any advocate of natural term feeding has referred to it as "the best thing" either. It's obviously not for most people. Nobody, ever, has said that all children should breastfeed until 4 or any other age. But it is not harmful and it is not inappropriate, and that's all we would like acknowledged.'

[quote Brieminewine]@shesgonebatshitagain yep exactly that. If a child is able to eat, and drink from any variety of cup, they don’t need to feed from the breast and continuing to do so to school age seems to me to be treating a child as a baby.[/quote]
Why is necessity the yardstick? It isn't in all sorts of things adults do. We don't need to eat chocolate (or Brie, or drink wine ), but many of us do, because it's enjoyable - or 'comforting', to use another word.

It seems to me that babying of a child in the actual sense involves keeping him or her dependent. Natural term bf doesn't do that. The feeding relationship continues as long as both parties want it to. In my case it was a sort-of mutual decision each time - with a little, very gentle push from me (because there did, IME, come a point when I was getting fed up of it). It can actually be a very good experience of autonomy for a child - determining themselves (to a considerable extent) when they're ready to leave something that had been comforting behind.

@shesgonebatshitagain because it’s treating a child who is able to communicate it’s need for food and drink, and able to independently feed itself, in the same way as a newborn who is a dependent.

If you’re happy to breastfeed your school child that’s entirely you’re prerogative, as I said earlier, your body your choice. I find it strange and think it’s treating a child like a baby but that my opinion.

And it's also the very opposite of prolonging dependence in that the place of bf in the child's life tends to entirely naturally diminish as time goes on - without being made into an emotional battleground. It sort of makes itself redundant, I suppose. There's normal variance in that as in everything. My 'stopped at 4.5' child was still coming into our bed at night aged 8 ot 9 (which we, again gently, knocked on the head eventually. He's now a very independent and well-adjusted teen). The one who stopped at 3 never came in to us beyond pretty much that age and was always a lot less keen on cuddles.