Dear Black People of Mumsnet

[PatricksRum]

Following on.

Name the thread poll here.

strawpoll.com/fr4juk62w

Thanks to everyone, black and white who have helpfully contributed.

Thanks to everyone, black and white who have proved exactly why we need this section.

@AMemeByAnyOtherName
@BIWI
@EchoCardioGran
@Quaagars
@Phoenix21

I think the takeaway message here is this: no matter how many people flood a thread with their inane ramblings and repetitive insults, you must never show anger or use the dreaded 'F' word.

You must repeat 'Kindly stop, as what you are saying bears no relevance to this subject and it is derailing our discussion'. Again and again, ad infinitum, until the attacking learned poster wakes from their frenzy and kindly steps back, apologising profusely for their ignorant outbursts.

This is how our children should be raised.

I don't want to teach my children to suffer fools though. Perhaps that's key to Black Parenting

@MarriedtoDaveGrohl

Ok so as a white woman I vote (if that's ok)

• yeah if people want a black space on here why not? Can we still visit though?
• call it what you like. Obviously. The marketer in me likes Black Mums Matter ( catchy. Fits with the brand. Makes the point). Black perspective sounds a bit ernest.)

Oh and racism is a boring waste of all of our time. Haven't we all got better things to do than being racist?

Everyone is welcome.

We just want a space where we don't have to explain. As long as you're not asking for explanations, you're welcome!

@AMemeByAnyOtherName

I think the takeaway message here is this: no matter how many people flood a thread with their inane ramblings and repetitive insults, you must never show anger or use the dreaded 'F' word.

You must repeat 'Kindly stop, as what you are saying bears no relevance to this subject and it is derailing our discussion'. Again and again, ad infinitum, until the attacking learned poster wakes from their frenzy and kindly steps back, apologising profusely for their ignorant outbursts.

This is how our children should be raised.

I don't want to teach my children to suffer fools though. Perhaps that's key to Black Parenting

It's interesting, a lot of MN acronyms use swear words. A common one "odfo" but of course, being black, if I use it then I am aggressive.

Posters repeatedly coming back to question us are being respectful. So I should respect them back.

Oh, and sweeping statements are banned.
Black people aren't being killed. One black person is.

@MagentaRocks

I am not going to vote as I am white and I think it should be for people affected to make the choice of what they want their space to be called.

I will however read that section to get more of an insight on the different things that effect BAME people, and comment if I feel I have something to say, even if it just showing solidarity.

Good luck with the new board. I hope it is everything you wish for.

Thanks magenta. See you over there

@Marg33t

Well done everyone involved especially PR

I will start posting again on mn once we get our own set of boards

I've heard from a few posters that they don't post on MN anymore due to racial hostility. I hope to see you over there! And everyone else who doesn't feel welcome on MN anymore.

@PatricksRum

No problem it's not hard, your not exactly asking for something outrageous are you!

No you didn't as I hadn't asked for a code but if you pm one I'll certainly put in my vote.

@drspouse

I've made wordclouds for work and for a lot of the generators you choose your own words. I can't remember which one we used (it was ages ago).

Good luck with the launch/title/new section also.

This would be very interesting.

Thanks for all your support

[quote Ginkypig]@PatricksRum

No problem it's not hard, your not exactly asking for something outrageous are you!

No you didn't as I hadn't asked for a code but if you pm one I'll certainly put in my vote.[/quote]
You'd think I asked for a packet of flour!

I pm'd you

Flour haha!

More like toilet roll

Well done on establishing the concept for the board. I agree it’s long overdue. One stray thought, though. If you call it BMM, do you risk alienating or excluding those MNers who aren’t mums?

@ComeBackIntoTheGardenMaud

Well done on establishing the concept for the board. I agree it’s long overdue. One stray thought, though. If you call it BMM, do you risk alienating or excluding those MNers who aren’t mums?

Thank you.

I think we covered that. The same way mumsnet is made for mums.

Can I have a code please?

I am feeling very wary about posting this but... if you are not in the demographic the new board is aimed at I think it is better for you not to vote on the name.

You could skew the results away from what a black voting majority would have chosen.

I get the enthusiasm and appreciate the support but I think opinions on the name should be limited to comments on the page.

@CircleofWillis

I am feeling very wary about posting this but... if you are not in the demographic the new board is aimed at I think it is better for you not to vote on the name.

You could skew the results away from what a black voting majority would have chosen.

I get the enthusiasm and appreciate the support but I think opinions on the name should be limited to comments on the page.

I disagree. I think the name is not so personal to us but more to reflect the topic. I think the suggestions, some are witty, puns. I see it no different to finding a business name etc.
They all contain Black. It's more to see which name is most appealing.

Either way, I've pm'd you a code to vote

I've sent quite a few out to those who have requested but we're still missing some votes.

I'll contact HQ tomorrow (today) for an update and see where we are with it.

I think the next stage would be for us to suggest any guidelines that we think may be helpful. As pp mentioned, comments that can come across as innocent on other boards would cause offence on these threads and the section.
If anyone has any suggestions?

Comments to be wary of

• Genuine question.....xxxx? (Cue wave of "innocent questions and a constant need for explanation)
• You are overreacting/oversensitive
• Uppity/chip on your shoulder/constantly asking for things
• Aggressive/loud/obnoxious/disrespectful
• I agree with you but the way you are asking/speaking/saying (basically policing tone)
• Black people/BAME/you are so racist to me
• You are segregating yourself
• I have a right to an opinion and to share it, this is a public forum (after some really racist comment or question)
• This is why people treat you this way
• if you hate it so much here, why don't you leave (this country)/you should be grateful
• My curly hair is no different to your Afro hair -add some ridiculous justification of why it is curiosity and not dehumanizing to touch Black people's hair without their permission
• The UK is not as racist as other countries (I beg to differ)
• You people are so entitled
• Just work harder
• I/my kids/my family don't see colour - we are all humans
• Stop making everything about race
• Well white working class people are also xxxx.
• BLM is a political/terrorist organisation
• Jumped up
• The UK abolished slavery (It also started the trans Atlantic slave trade so no kudos there)
• Slavery/Colonisation was a long time ago
• The red herring that is "Irish people were slaves too"
• Vikings had dreadlocks too/you don't own a hairstyle

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt

Comments to be wary of

• Genuine question.....xxxx? (Cue wave of "innocent questions and a constant need for explanation)
• You are overreacting/oversensitive
• Uppity/chip on your shoulder/constantly asking for things
• Aggressive/loud/obnoxious/disrespectful
• I agree with you but the way you are asking/speaking/saying (basically policing tone)
• Black people/BAME/you are so racist to me
• You are segregating yourself
• I have a right to an opinion and to share it, this is a public forum (after some really racist comment or question)
• This is why people treat you this way
• if you hate it so much here, why don't you leave (this country)/you should be grateful
• My curly hair is no different to your Afro hair -add some ridiculous justification of why it is curiosity and not dehumanizing to touch Black people's hair without their permission
• The UK is not as racist as other countries (I beg to differ)
• You people are so entitled
• Just work harder
• I/my kids/my family don't see colour - we are all humans
• Stop making everything about race
• Well white working class people are also xxxx.
• BLM is a political/terrorist organisation
• Jumped up
• The UK abolished slavery (It also started the trans Atlantic slave trade so no kudos there)
• Slavery/Colonisation was a long time ago
• The red herring that is "Irish people were slaves too"
• Vikings had dreadlocks too/you don't own a hairstyle

These are brilliant!

They would all be ticked over these threads.

So do you think we should put a pinned post with these on or blend them as guidelines for the topic? Ie No tone policing. Do not dismiss experiences etc

I like a pinned post, but obviously those need work to make them more elegant. There really is no excuse or claiming ignorance with a pinned post is there

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt

I like a pinned post, but obviously those need work to make them more elegant. There really is no excuse or claiming ignorance with a pinned post is there

Having read all the related threads on this topic, how brilliant it'd be to have a pinned post like this.

I'm not black, and I found reading those posts totally upsetting and felt utterly exhausted for the posters who patiently responded to comments like those in the pinned post over and over and OVER again. I can hardly imagine how it must be to deal with that shit in everyday life.

I reckon an enormous amount brain space, effort and sheer time could be freed up by just responding to the (no doubt gazillion, if these threads are anything to go by) racist or just downright ignorant posts with 'See pinned post above' and nothing else.

It's so great this board is happening! Kudos to OP, et al!

Fuck the pinned post! (Well not really) anyone posting any of that rubbish gets kicked off! Zero tolerance. So much easier...

PatricksRum thanks for the pm. Now I have to work out how to access messages.

I disagree. I think the name is not so personal to us but more to reflect the topic. I think the suggestions, some are witty, puns. I see it no different to finding a business name etc.
They all contain Black. It's more to see which name is most appealing.

I think the name is personal as it sets the tone and helps us to define ourselves. However it really is a theoretical point on my part as I like all the options 😆.

@Dastardlythefriendlymutt

Comments to be wary of

• Genuine question.....xxxx? (Cue wave of "innocent questions and a constant need for explanation)
• You are overreacting/oversensitive
• Uppity/chip on your shoulder/constantly asking for things
• Aggressive/loud/obnoxious/disrespectful
• I agree with you but the way you are asking/speaking/saying (basically policing tone)
• Black people/BAME/you are so racist to me
• You are segregating yourself
• I have a right to an opinion and to share it, this is a public forum (after some really racist comment or question)
• This is why people treat you this way
• if you hate it so much here, why don't you leave (this country)/you should be grateful
• My curly hair is no different to your Afro hair -add some ridiculous justification of why it is curiosity and not dehumanizing to touch Black people's hair without their permission
• The UK is not as racist as other countries (I beg to differ)
• You people are so entitled
• Just work harder
• I/my kids/my family don't see colour - we are all humans
• Stop making everything about race
• Well white working class people are also xxxx.
• BLM is a political/terrorist organisation
• Jumped up
• The UK abolished slavery (It also started the trans Atlantic slave trade so no kudos there)
• Slavery/Colonisation was a long time ago
• The red herring that is "Irish people were slaves too"
• Vikings had dreadlocks too/you don't own a hairstyle

Fantastic Dastardlythefriendlymutt! That is a VERY comprehensive list!

"If Beyonce can straighten her hair and dye it blonde, why can't white people have dreadlocks?"

"I don't care if you're black, white, yellow, or purple."

"I have a black friend and they don't mind if I (insert racist behaviour here)"

I have a black friend and they don't mind if I (insert racist behaviour here)

I bet they bloody well do.

Someone upthread said they found reading some of these posts as upsetting and exhausting, I completely agree.

If you call it BMM, do you risk alienating or excluding those MNers who aren’t mums?

I'm childfree and I don't think it would. I wouldn't be on a forum called Mumsnet if I found the word 'mum' alienating.

I'm not black so it's not my place to vote on the topic name but I don't think you have to worry about using the word 'mum' on Mumsnet.

@JimMaxwellantheshippingforcast

I have a black friend and they don't mind if I (insert racist behaviour here)

I bet they bloody well do.

Someone upthread said they found reading some of these posts as upsetting and exhausting, I completely agree.

Just to clarify, those sentences are not something I'd say and they're an addition to @Dastardlythefriendlymutt's brilliant post.