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Original poster

Asking for a handhold - DH in ICU

988 replies

peachgreen · 04/09/2020 10:56

DH was taken into hospital last night with breathing difficulties. It was pretty minor, the paramedics weren't even going to take him in but we insisted. He's now in an induced coma on a ventilator. He's had 2 negative Covid tests so they don't think it's that but they don't know what it is.

I'm falling apart. He's my whole life. We have a 2 year old who is a complete Daddy's girl. I need him so much. I can't even be with him now because of COVID.

OP posts:
fuandylp · 04/09/2020 18:04

My mother lived with "chronic stable heart failure" for years. That is not what killed her in the end.
Heart failure covers a whole range of things.

Thinking of you. It must be awful having to wait and not being able to do anything.

Silene · 04/09/2020 18:10

thinking of you all, and hoping improvement continues. So scary, but family and friends are a huge help, and eat, even if tiny portions as another poster said on a different thread. hoping things are better tomorrow. Hugs (( ))

TheRedShoes75 · 04/09/2020 18:10

My DH was in ICU at the beginning of last year with double pneumonia caused by swine flu. The care he received there was amazing. I could only see him when I had PPE on as I had flu too. He’s almost completely recovered now. Thinking of you and your DH. It’s a hard time but gather all the support you can around you. Don’t forget to look after yourself too.

DeliaOwens · 04/09/2020 18:14

OP, I am sorry! However, it might be that it is treatable and with the right intervention and medication, he could be out of hospital and back home. Don't panic just yet. (I know easier said...) Big big hugs.

StealthPolarBear · 04/09/2020 18:15

How terrifying, and you must feel in a very dark place right now. Hopefully some of the positive stories on here - there are many - aer giving you hope that things will improve x

slightchill · 04/09/2020 18:16

Thinking of you and wishing you both well Flowers

Remember to look after yourself and drink some tea and some water x

LostInAutumn · 04/09/2020 18:16

I am using my spare, incognito screen name for this. I have heart failure. I had a bypass done three years ago and see my cardiologist frequently. I am usually in afib, so they want to poke around in there a bit more (ablation) because they think I’m young to deal with it, at 60. I work, I walk A LOT, I garden (as in dig with a shovel, drag branches around, etc) I have sex w DH-and believe me, he makes my heart really race! At work, people who weren’t here three years ago can’t seem to believe I have a bad heart. I look the picture of health, promise I do. I am one of the most active people here at my age! Your husband can have a long life, with few restrictions. Medications are a big help, they do wonders. It’s a progressive disease, but you can keep it from advancing too quickly. Btw, I don’t smoke, drink or eat beef or pork. The surgeon said it was genetics, although I think the extra weight I had may have contributed. Lost weight though, and I feel good!

Highfivemum · 04/09/2020 18:16

Huge hug and lots of positive vibes sending over to you. He is in the best place and they will do everything to help him. Please keep us posted. 🤞🤞🙏🙏

feelingfree17 · 04/09/2020 18:17

Sending my love and a hand hold to you 💐

MrsPerfect12 · 04/09/2020 18:18

My husband had heart failure last year. He had to have OHS to fix his aortic valve which was at a critical stage. He is now back to being a very fit 39 year old! I remember being terrified and everything happened so quick but we're out the other side now. Please keep positive. Flowers

Hardbackwriter · 04/09/2020 18:20

(This is lisasimpsonsbff under a different account in case you remember me too)

Flowers I am so sorry to hear he's so ill and really hoping that you get more good news soon. I've read lots of your posts over the years and it always shines through what a fantastic husband and dad your DH is and how you two have been there for each other through every up and down. This must be so terrifying for you. I know it must be almost impossible but do try and keep yourself fed, comfortable, sleep if you possibly can - as I say, I know that might not feel possible right now but the more you can take care of yourself the better. Your DH is in the best possible hands.

Chimpfield · 04/09/2020 18:22

Hand hold and hugs from me xx

Highlandcathedral · 04/09/2020 18:24

More good wishes for you @peachgreen, the term heart failure is very frightening, but as others have said it often is something they can control well with surgery or medication. My elderly dad was diagnosed with it at about 75, and was panicked by the term, thinking that was it. He was fitted with a pacemaker and lived till he was nearly 91.

The expression heart failure just means the heart is failing to perform as it should, not usually failing to work at all. He is in the best place, and has all the right folk round him. Big unmumsnetty hugs for you and your family.

Echobelly · 04/09/2020 18:25

Crossing everything for you OP Flowers

Cheetahfajita · 04/09/2020 18:27

Lots of love to you OP

notapizzaeater · 04/09/2020 18:28

My brother in law had heart failure, he lived for years and years and died from something else. They can do loads now with drugs

1WildTeaParty · 04/09/2020 18:28

ICU are full of amazing people. On the ones I've been to, the staff all work really hard and treat each patient as if they are the most important one.

Be sure that even when you are not present, they will fight on your husband's behalf -using all means.

Your husband might be able to hear you even when in an (induced) coma. Mine remembered things that had been said to him during his weeks in this state and the electronic monitors did show him responding to sounds.

Fingers crossed for his rapid and complete recovery. All good wishes to you in this frightening time.

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 04/09/2020 18:41

Keeping everything crossed for you x

Ohnoducks · 04/09/2020 18:41

Really glad they've been able to turn his requirements down, that's really good news. As others have said heart failure is a scary term but it just means not functioning at 100%, my daughter has been in heart failure for months at a time but to look at her running about you wouldn't know it, it is by no means final or irreversible.

evrey · 04/09/2020 18:47

Op you must feel very frightened . As previous posters have mentioned ICU staff are amazing and very good at what they do. They are also very blunt and will tell you exactly how it is. That someone is needing less oxygen within 24 hours is a positive sign.

sending you love at this difficult time Flowers

Hairyfairy01 · 04/09/2020 18:49

That's amazing that they have already managed to turn his oxygen down, and that he looked well. I would definitely be taking that as a positive.

Lougle · 04/09/2020 18:52

I used to work in ICU until recently. The staff will be giving him absolutely all the care they can. They will make sure he's comfortable and warm enough. They will reposition him often. They will monitor his blood pressure and keep him stable. They aren't you, but they will do their very best for him.

SRS29 · 04/09/2020 18:54

Wow OP just saw your thread.....sending lots of positive thoughts and Flowers

Fifilafrog · 04/09/2020 18:57

Just wanted to send a virtual hug and send strength to you all. Very scary but he's in the very best place. So heartening to read many of the other stories. Stay positive and make sure you look after yourself. 💐

forgetthehousework · 04/09/2020 18:58

FlowersSending you hugs and prayers