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Original poster

Asking for a handhold - DH in ICU

988 replies

peachgreen · 04/09/2020 10:56

DH was taken into hospital last night with breathing difficulties. It was pretty minor, the paramedics weren't even going to take him in but we insisted. He's now in an induced coma on a ventilator. He's had 2 negative Covid tests so they don't think it's that but they don't know what it is.

I'm falling apart. He's my whole life. We have a 2 year old who is a complete Daddy's girl. I need him so much. I can't even be with him now because of COVID.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 30/09/2020 13:19

I know it is hard with a recovering husband and a struggling child but you really must look after yourself. DH was only in hospital for two nights and then I had six weeks of doing everything and then ended up in bed for two weeks myself.

Original poster
peachgreen · 30/09/2020 18:53

You're right @SunshineCake, but I'm just not sure how to do it. My parents are here which is lovely but also they kind of make more work in a way, especially because my mum is chronically disabled so can't be of much help (although she does everytgung she can). I'm exhausted. But I can't ask DH to do anything, he's shattered as it is. DD was up in the night again with her teeth and she hasn't stopped crying and whinging for days - I don't blame her but it's so hard to deal with on top of everything else. Lockdown isn't helping either.

OP posts:
petalpower · 30/09/2020 19:06

I’m sure you’re exhausted mentally and physically @peachgreen. How long are your parents staying with you? Can they help with your daughter or does she just want Mummy and Daddy when she’s not 100%?

SunshineCake · 30/09/2020 19:07

If your dd is teething have you got a Muslim or Ashton and Parsons powders! I rubbed the gums of mine when teething and my son cut teeth without too much bother as the rubbing of the gums toughened them up.

Make life easier in terms of meals, laundry, etc and just do what needs to be done. You must rest.

SunshineCake · 30/09/2020 19:28

muslin

Brenna24 · 30/09/2020 21:50

Glad he is home. I hope that you all get a bit of rest from teeth, sore bums and separation for a while now.

Original poster
peachgreen · 01/10/2020 10:00

Sorry for whining, I was in a bit of a low place last night. Feel a bit better today as we made the effort to get up and outside into the garden early and are heading out for a short walk by the sea in a bit.

OP posts:
petalpower · 01/10/2020 10:34

I don’t think anyone thought you were whining @peachgreen. You’ve been through so much over the past few weeks and are bound to have ups and downs. Getting out for a bit of fresh air and a change of scene sounds just the ticket. Hope your daughter slept a bit better last night and isn’t suffering too much with her teething.

Brenna24 · 01/10/2020 20:48

You are definitely not whining. It is better to get your fears out 5han let them fester and where better than here. Plus there are some very knowledgeable people to help rationalise your fears.

spiderlight · 02/10/2020 09:34

How are you all doing?

forgetthehousework · 02/10/2020 16:59

Hope things are continuing to go well. (And I don't think you were whinging either).

Original poster
peachgreen · 02/10/2020 20:09

We all slept a lot better last night thankfully which really helped. I'm still feeling very anxious but I think that'll be a long time going unfortunately, if it ever does. But had a nice chat with a very sensible friend who reminded me that worst case scenario he need a heart transplant which are usually very successful and can give you 30+ years of a great quality of life. Trying to remember that. And being very grateful that he's home.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 05/10/2020 12:06

Hope you've managed to have a nice chilled weekend and caught up on some sleep.

forgetthehousework · 07/10/2020 19:18

Hope everything is still going well for you.

Original poster
peachgreen · 07/10/2020 23:15

Thank you both for checking in Flowers My parents go home tomorrow and while it's been utterly lovely having them, we do need to get back to some kind of new normal now. I feel a bit like we're in limbo until we know how he's improved when we go back in 3 months but he's got more energy for sure and is able to do a bit more each day so that's what matters really. I'm still very anxious but channelling it into being productive, planning lots of new heart healthy meals, getting him walking etc.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 08/10/2020 08:50

Glad he's got a bit more energy now. Fingers crossed that he'll continue to improve and you can get back to normal.

forgetthehousework · 08/10/2020 19:27

Glad things are going well, I'm sure you'll feel more settled and in control when you've developed a routine that helps Flowers

Marypoppinsagain · 17/10/2020 14:32

I keep thinking about you all. Hope you're all ok.

Original poster
peachgreen · 17/10/2020 21:48

You're all so kind, thank you. Flowers

DH is doing really well. He's had no symptoms of heart failure since he's been home apart from fatigue which is to be expected - he lost ALL his muscle tone while in hospital so his body is working very hard to build that back up. We're both sign off work until after Christmas so it's lovely to have that time to focus on each other and his recovery. We'll know more about the future when he has his echo in January as that will show if the meds are working to maintain or possibly even improve his heart function.

I'm struggling a lot with the uncertainty, having no idea if he'll be stable for a decade or get really ill in 6 months and need a transplant etc is really hard but I'm trying my best to just live day to day and remember that tomorrow is promised to nobody and all you can do is enjoy the time you have. I'm desperately sad when I think about the idea of life without him as he truly is my whole world but I try not to linger on those thoughts and just pray that medical science continues to improve. Really looking forward to Covid being over as it's very hard not being able to be surrounded by family and friends right now.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 18/10/2020 08:00

Glad to hear you are doing well and have time to recover. Wishing you all all the best.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 18/10/2020 08:04

Thanks for the update OP. I'm really glad to hear DH is doing well but can totally understand your anxiety. I'll keep my fingers crossed things continue to improve and that shows up on the echo in January.

forgetthehousework · 18/10/2020 12:11

Thanks for updating, and really glad to hear things are going well.
I'll continue to remember you in my prayers.

petalpower · 18/10/2020 12:38

I’ve been meaning to find this thread and post to see how you are all doing @peachgreen. Pleased to hear that your husband is doing well and you have some family time together. I’m sure your daughter is thrilled to have her daddy back at home.

Marypoppinsagain · 18/10/2020 13:46

That's a lovely update. It's so hard not to worry but the fact he has no further signs is great.

Original poster
peachgreen · 25/10/2020 23:48

DH has just gone back in to A&E. Hopefully just a precaution but he was having some spells of irregular rhythm so better safe than sorry. Feeling really panicky if I'm honest as it feels so similar to last time although he doesn't have any symptoms this time. Just so gutted that I can't go with him, fucking Covid. It's so scary.

OP posts:
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