Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 2

[bearlyactive]

To answer the most recent question...

What to do to stop procrastinating?

Take a nap. Keep procrastinating until it gets boring.

And my next question is...

How long will it take for this thread to fill up?

Smokey bacon and prawn cocktail shells only.
Salt and vinegar if you have proper bread and butter to go with them and a large pot of tea.
Where do I buy will power to clean a dozen toilets?

Argh!
Because we are all in a treadmill making the earth spin faster

Where do I buy will power to clean a dozen toilets

willpower.net

Finish the lyrics! "Tell me something girl, are you happy in this ___ world?"

Prawn Cocktail crisps instead followed by a cheese & pickle sandwich.

What should I get my girl cat for Christmas?

'Tell me something girl are you happy in this prawn cocktail & cheese & pickle sandwich with Donald Trump cuddles if it means Angela Merkel saves the world'
La la la la la...........

What should I get my girl cat for Christmas?

A boy cat. (Don't!)

Why do I have a huge aversion to watching the news?

Because you know the news readers are amateur and you could do a much better job.
If oak academy was a real life school who would be the head teacher?

Treebeard.

Why do I want to go to bed when it's only 9.30?

Because you are up all all last night chasing imaginary kittens from under your bed.

Should I have a bath now or in the morning ( have to be out if the house at 5.30am )

Have a bath at work or if that's not possible have a shower when you get up to wake you up & make sure you have all the windows wide open & sing 'I Should Be So Lucky' very loudly.
But work from home only if you have to go into work, don't take the train but take the train. Keep 2m away from people at all times but you can go to the pub & sit with 6 complete strangers but not your Mum, Dad, Husband & 3 kids.
And make sure you don't have more than 6 people in your work bath & that includes the rubber duck.

Why do teenagers think they are right about absolutely everything & make you want to tear your hair out!
(e.g. The sky isn't blue it's pink with green stripes & purple spots,
Ibruprofen is really paracetamol,
Grandad was born in Scotland, according to my DD he's totally wrong & he was born in London. He was born in Scotland says so on his birth certificate)

Because teenagers are the font of all knowledge. Their main duty in life is to educate us and bestow this greater knowledge upon us.

Should I start my christmas shopping?

Not entil the 24th December

What's the weather like for Saturday in Peterborough?

Forty-degree heat, blazing sun and the odd snowstorm.

Who do you think you are... running 'round leaving scars... collecting your jar of hearts...?

Boris Johnson

Why is Kevin Bacon connected to everyone in the world probably the universe?

Because he's part spider and is spinning a very big web.

Why am I going camping this weekend?

Because you are attending the annual nudist convention for which you are the organiser of the South-East branch.

Why have I bought Guacamole from Lidl this morning when I don't like the stuff?

To feed to the mole in your guaca.

Why am I struggling to type?

Because you've mixed up your fingers and toes

Why do lorry drivers not see the 'Low Bridge ahead' signs with the massive numbers on?!?

Because you have drunk a bottle of Gin
Will DS be allowed back in school on Tuesday after self isolating for two weeks?

Because the lorry drivers think it says Love Bridge & want to get all romantic with the Eddie Stobart drivers.

DS will only be able to go back to school if he gets on a lorry that misses all the low bridges & goes via Gretna Green plus he needs to change his name to Xboy1 Loveday before he goes to back to school.

Why is my DD turning her nose up at Spag Bol? It used to be her favourite.

This issue is clearly her nose, have you demanded an appointment with her pediatrician yet?

Why won't my socks stay facing the right way, once on my feet?

Their eyes are in the back of their head.

Will I ever get off my arse?

Your arse has become at one with the sofa and feels it will die if they are parted

Why has my cat decided to start digging at his bed like a dog would before he lies down

(disclaimer , I am convinced he is part dog he plays fetch and likes going for a walk on a lead )

He is burying a bone

Why is Tom hardy so handsome?

Because your cat is the brother of my cat. Their Mummy Cat raised them the Barbara Woodhouse way as Mummy Cat was sat next to her slave owner whilst it was on TV.

Why has my DD now decided she wants Spag Bol after earlier in the evening saying she didn't like it anymore? 🤦‍♀️