Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 2

[bearlyactive]

To answer the most recent question...

What to do to stop procrastinating?

Take a nap. Keep procrastinating until it gets boring.

And my next question is...

How long will it take for this thread to fill up?

2 weeks worth, plus stock for soup. This is Mumsnet after all.

Who will win Strictly this year?

Nigel Farage.

Why do the villains in animations always have the best lines?

The Governess, after a memorable routine to 'Oh bondage up yours!'

Now schools are back, how long will idyllic summery weather return for (weekdays only, of course)

Because the best lines are those which cast the spell for sex weeks of balmy summery weather

How can I learn an effective raindance (with snowdance subroutine for Christmas)?

*six weeks

(Or perhaps leave it, as that must be a very wrong answer for 'What do SAHMs do once youngest starts school?)

Operate a Dominatrix cleaning service.

Why are spiders using my ceiling as an arachnid brothel/lurrve hotel?
(I've just removed 2 of them who were getting down & dirty & another spider who was waiting his turn)

I don't know, but I hope they're paying you a share of the profits.

Why is it impossible to cook the exact right amount of pasta?

Because you aren't measuring in Roman Numerals. You need LXXV per person.

How is my neighbours dog getting into my garden (he's lovely and not a problem!)

He has an elaborate under ground tunnel with trapdoors and wizards that leads straight into your garden,why do people keep stealing my recycling bin,s ?

Because they have secret Banksy prints underneath.

Where has my best bra gone?

I'm wearing it and I look awesome in it. In fact it is the only thing I am wearing right now. I may never take it off. I should probably stop now.

Why do I really, really fancy The Rock?

He may not be Fed Flintsone, but he'll sure make your Bedrock! 😬

Can someone go and water my greenhouse please?

Because you are convinced his nickname is very telling.

Where do all the pants and socks go in my house?

Your socks have gone to water Raspberrys greenhouse.

How has my daughter managed to lose her school polo shirts?

They go to the land of socks and pants via a portal in the washing machine,should I make the packed lunch,s now for tommorow or leave it untill the last minute in the morning?

The elves will do it overnight for you

Will I ever run a marathon?

You might run a Mars bar.

Wine or juice?

Fermented grape juice,will I sleep tonight ,knowing I have to get both kids up and ready for the first time in six months?

You wont sleep untill 5 mins before the alarm is due to go off then you will sleep like the dead.

Why wont my boss leave me alone a weekend

You work weekends!

Why am I getting heavier despite dieting?

Because s/he fancies you and secretly wants a torrid affair ,what happened to the letter I was expecting last week?

An owl from Hogwarts git confused, it's now winging its way to Francesomewhere to a wizard called Extubois.

Shall I wear my stripey socks to bed?

No, everyone knows they need to wear polka dot socks to bed it stops the spread of COVID ,why is BBC news so shit ?

Because Huw Edwards is cross as Sophie Raworth has eaten his Toblerone.

Should I go to bed or watch another episode of Away?

Binge watch the lot, who needs sleep anyway.

Who would win a fight, Buffy or Arya?