Wankiest excuse for being dumped?

[firecracker69]

As much as heartbreak hurts we can usually look back and laugh about it. It stings like fuck at the time but often makes for good story telling after a few drinks.

What are some of the most hurtful, ridiculous, unreasonable or completely dickish reasons you've been given for being dumped, or that you've dumped someone for?

This was an easy one for me. I'd recently got back with my ex after a 4 month break. He asked to see me one night, to talk about how he felt about us. My best mate got very excited and thought he was going to propose. That night he announced:

"I've given it 5 weeks and don't feel any different. I should get excited about you but I don't!" Blunt, to say the least...... 🙄

Anyway he's married to an ugly horse-faced woman now and lost all his hair. He's not a member of the Royal Family is he?

The ex who used his (fictitious) depression as an excuse to dump me also lost all his hair too. I'd always wanted him to shave it off but he was too vain. It looked shit. Terrible. Embarrassing. Imagine my surprise, when I saw a pic of his newly shaven bald head recently? It looked almost as bad as the particularly repulsive comb over he'd clung onto for years..... but not quite. During lockdown, when he tried to hoover me back in, I discovered he'd actually got another partner, that he failed to mention. I enjoyed unleashing my anger upon him and what I really thought about his hair. I'd been dying to do this but always held back because I didn't want to be too hurtful. Not this time. Then I spoke to his gf about him sneaking around behind her back. She knew nothing about me, even though I was with him for 2 years. Me and his gf chatted for hours. Between us we discovered he'd had his "finger in 3 different pies" at once. Me, her and another woman!! I'm feisty. She was feistier. He got torn to shreds. Then his gf dumped him! Karma at its bald finest!

I dumped a bloke because he invited me over for dinner and cooked an Iceland pepperoni pizza. We were both mid twenties and, whilst I wasn’t expecting gourmet cooking, he could have put some bloody effort in!!

‘You’re amazing and I never thought I’d meet someone like you. But if you want to go out with me, I can’t stop thinking what if there’s someone out there who’s got everything you have but is beautiful as well. I can’t cheat myself like that’

He looked like something you’d see under a toadstool in a children’s book but shorter.

Another charmer dumped me the day before my birthday after 2 years together with ‘I’ve found the one. We are soulmates. We are on a different spiritual, emotional and physical plane to what I have with you. You are just too ordinary to understand. The fact that you aren’t happy for me confirms what an awful person you are. I’ve discussed you with a psychologist and she said you are mentally ill and don’t understand me like she does and I should have dumped you months ago because I am so far out of your league’

The psychologist was a different woman he’d been cheating on me with, who wasn’t a psychologist but had done a psychology course at school.
He then dumped her as well for ‘his soulmate’.

Within 2 months he was on my doorstep begging for me to take him back as his ‘soulmate’ and the ‘psychologist’ were actually the ones who were mentally ill and between them were making his life hell.

He eventually admitted that there had been at least 5 other women during our relationship as he thought being honest would show me that he was ready to commit to me now.

He is now in a ‘relationship’ with the ‘psychologist’ who he cheats on constantly. She believes she can rehabilitate him through love and that having such a ‘complicated’ partner makes her interesting and the envy of her mum group. She’s 48.

We are our own worst enemies sometimes!

I can’t remember the reason now stupidly but I was left by my partner I’d been living with and looking after his children for 2 years for some fake stupid reason because his ex who I’d been looking after her kid for 2 years decided she’s have him back then he went on holiday with her the day after telling me and then I got back with him 6 months later I had no idea about this no one thought I deserved informing then I stupidly had a kid with him we are not together he’s decided it’s too hard for him to see his son I’m not sure why ? Maybe because I’ve been nothing but nice to him even with him refusing to pay Csa but u know it might be hard walking through the door or something I’m sorry I can’t rememver the reason but I know it was second to none this thread makes me feel maybe there isn’t something wrong with me and just some cuntish men around.

I met a guy on old. after several dates he stayed over. Next morning he decided he he needed cigarettes, went to local co-op and never returned! Ladies don’t trust a man who claim to be an ex East Midlands professional footballer.