Wankiest excuse for being dumped?

[firecracker69]

As much as heartbreak hurts we can usually look back and laugh about it. It stings like fuck at the time but often makes for good story telling after a few drinks.

What are some of the most hurtful, ridiculous, unreasonable or completely dickish reasons you've been given for being dumped, or that you've dumped someone for?

This was an easy one for me. I'd recently got back with my ex after a 4 month break. He asked to see me one night, to talk about how he felt about us. My best mate got very excited and thought he was going to propose. That night he announced:

"I've given it 5 weeks and don't feel any different. I should get excited about you but I don't!" Blunt, to say the least...... 🙄

At the start I told him I couldn't have children and he said no problem. Five years later (we had lived together for 3+) after a good night and me cooking him a big fry up he informs me that he's leaving, he has found someone who can give him what I can't - children. He then asked me to drive him to the underground station which I did, showing no emotion until after he got out of the car when I collapsed and called my friend who came and drove me home. He subsequently married the woman and they had three children. The following weeks I was like a zombie - wake up crying, take shower, make up on - do a days work, home and collapse on bed crying. Ugh.

@Crankley what a complete and utter bastard.

Crankley that's utterly heartbreaking. I hope life has been good to you since.
I was dumped without words, he planned a big speech but I managed to head it off when he turned up at my house with a bag of my stuff. I opened the door and spotted my stuff and I twigged straight away. I just grabbed it and said thank you, no need for the 'chat'. Then I shut the door and howled

I was dumped because I didn’t like camping Turned out camping was genuinely very important to him, though. All his pics on social media feature his wife and their scores of children shivering miserably in raincoats in some
God-forsaken campsite or other.

Apparently I wasn't committed enough, because I couldn't change the bus I took.

We were 17 lol

There was one bus in the morning to college, so had no choice, he has a choice as there were two. He took the earlier bus, (my bus) so that showed commitment...

😂

Ah thanks, it was a looong time ago and yes he was a complete and utter bastard.

I went to a pub with some of our mutual friends a couple of weeks later, walked it, he's there with new woman, he looked up but barely acknowledged me, I did a casual wave, went to loo, threw up, plastered on make up, had one drink and left saying I had a headache which was true by this time and never saw him again but friends mentioned him from time, telling me about their children etc which I would rather not have known.

You know it's horrendous when you break up but it happens, I've ended relationships too. The thing that really got me was his comment about me not being able to give him what he wanted. He didn't have to say that. It would have been enough for him to say sorry but this is no longer working for me. I would still have been upset but that comment was like not only sticking a knife in me but twisting it.

Thank goodness for time which does heal but you never forget.

‘I think you’re a lesbian’

This after I went on a pre arranged (before I met him) holiday of a lifetime with my best friend and her husband. 🤷‍♀️

I was 'boring'. I was traumatised teenager who had recently lost my virginity to him because I felt like I had to. Not exciting enough for him apparently, who was a decade older. I have had a far more interesting and exciting life than he has in the following decade, that's for sure.

"I like blonde hair "... my hair was never blonde!

I never polished my boots the fact that we were both at agricultural college and spent all day tramping round fields appeared to have escaped him.......

I’ve been ghosted a couple of times but never given any dodgy reasons for being dumped.

I, however, have dumped people for the following reasons:

1. He kept ditching me at really short notice to play Warhammer with his friends. I broke up with him over the phone while standing in a Morrison’s car park.

1. He told me how sexy he found Beyoncé... while he was shagging me. He actually exclaimed, ‘she’s all woman, baby!’ 🤢

1. I woke up after a year of dating and found that I had The Ick. Everything about him made my skin crawl and I had to end it

I love you but can't go out with you because my mum doesn't like you.

I was dumped after nearly three years because my parents were poorer than his. Wanker.

"I won't be able to do long distance" at the time I was living approx 45mins away from him but was applying for jobs a bit further away (we were in a recession!)

He then got with another woman who was studying at our old uni which was a 2hr drive on a good day.
He seemed to go right wing religious nut after we broke up & his brother was a complete dick. Also my Mum didn't like him (told me after) so lucky escape!

“I’m good at being a mate, but I’m just really shit at being a boyfriend. Sorry”

To be fair he is still single 20 years later so maybe he was right 🤣

I care about you too much to hurt you 🤔

I was dumped by my first boyfriend at 16 because when the police called me to check his alibi, I told the truth - I thought he was at work, he definitely was not with me because I was doing my homework that night. Apparently I should have just gone with it and lied, so he could get off with streaming the cars from the showroom he was getting paid to guard he didn't even have the decency to warn me he was a criminal!

After confiding in him (far too soon but apparently I was his perfect woman) about my rape I received a text informing me we couldn’t date as handling the vicarious trauma would affect his mood.

I can look back and think I dodged a flipping bullet with that one!

When I’ve been dumped it’s because his ex wanted him back or he wanted to shag around. Petty reasons I have dumped other people are plentiful however. One bloke I had dated for six months got dumped because he wanted to lick my bumhole. He looked like Chris Pratt as well. With hindsight I was young and silly because nowadays I’d quite happily let Chris Pratt lick my bumhole.

I was ghosted by a guy I was seeing who was in the RAF. I just never heard from him again. Turns out he had been transferred to Wales - and within a year he was married to a woman he met there. About 2 years later I got a text out of the blue from him wanting to meet. He was due to visit my area to have treatment at a military hospital near me. No mention of his disappearance- just that I was the best shag he’d ever had. I arranged to meet him at his hotel and never showed up.

I don't think I'll ever learn how to love someone and you deserve better. 6 months later I'm informed by a mutual friend that he met some the month before and had moved in with him,still together but not married heading for 40 years together.

Her not him, that would be self explanatory

After 20 years of marriage - because you won't go to swinging and fetish clubs with me.
Me: Bye then.

Remember that trip?

Yeah well, I actually went there to shag a married woman with DC that I met on Twitter.

Just completely blanked. No reason ever given. Its still a mystery I think its called ghosting these days? I call it being a complete wanker.