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ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays

991 replies

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 23/08/2020 18:12

New thread.

previous thread

The one with the phallic aubergines

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 29/08/2020 18:16

@Justgivemewine

🤣🤣🤣 *@InsaneInTheViralMembrane and @BogRollBOGOF*

My neighbours are having a barbecue and no doubt breaking all manner of non existent, made up on MN rules.
Personally I think they are mad...........

..........it’s bloody freezing out there

😂 yeh not BBQ weather here either.

I am so excited. Kids are back at school. Gym is opening Monday! Now to see if I actually fit into any of my gym clothes... pool is open, showers open, classes on - only thing which seems amiss is the sauna and steam rooms booooo.

amicissimma · 29/08/2020 18:23

"Ah it's 0.4 percent of the positives found? Not of the population tested?"

No, it's 0.4% of the tests will show falsely positive. So out of about 100,000 tests, 400 false positives.

So of the 1570 positives, 400 were actually negative. And there will also be some - number unspecified and quite likely not really known - false negatives out there, ie people who got a negative test but actually had Covid genetic material in their sample.

Thanksitsgotpockets · 29/08/2020 18:27

@amicissimma

"Ah it's 0.4 percent of the positives found? Not of the population tested?"

No, it's 0.4% of the tests will show falsely positive. So out of about 100,000 tests, 400 false positives.

So of the 1570 positives, 400 were actually negative. And there will also be some - number unspecified and quite likely not really known - false negatives out there, ie people who got a negative test but actually had Covid genetic material in their sample.

Right, so my original assumption stands. That if they managed to test 10 percent of our town population, they could find a false outbreak.

Scary.

Antiaoife · 29/08/2020 18:37

Has anyone else seen that godawful poem doing the rounds on FB based on The Night Before Christmas? m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158609567542365&id=842672364

My friend who isn’t on mn has fixed it:

'Twas the night before school
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except for this spouse!

Schoolbags sat by the front door half packed
She had survived the school holidays - the mental load had finally cracked
Lunches were forgotten and shoes were too tight
"Christ i cant wait for some peace" she thought that night

The children were sleeping fast in their beds
With dreams of reunions with all their friends
Where classes are bubbles and tables are pods
They couldn't give a toss, school was finally restarting- thank god!!

When down in the kitchen arose such a clatter,
Husband ran down to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen he flew like a light
His wife sat celebrating at the table, finally things were right
"I want them to go and have a fantastic day, just a shame that this sodding virus hasnt yet gone away"

For the first time in months everyone would be in their rightful place
She literally could not wait for some mental (and personal) space

The work to do list was racing around in her mind
Her husband realised she needed a massive glass of wine

We've waited for this day for schools to re-start
Its finally here, they'll be learning again- thank god school will do art
She gave a big grin and sank her large glass
And said to herself "pray to the covid God's that it lasts"

But six long months have passed
During which the dementors have gone wild
Clearly none of them has a bored, lonely child

Some might feel nervous and perhaps feel sad
The bottom line is the stats are not bad
Get your kids back to school and quit all your moaning
I'm frankly sick of the hysterical moaning

SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 29/08/2020 18:40

Love the final rhyming couplet!

Shesingsshangrila · 29/08/2020 18:41

@Antiaoife

Has anyone else seen that godawful poem doing the rounds on FB based on The Night Before Christmas? m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10158609567542365&id=842672364

My friend who isn’t on mn has fixed it:

'Twas the night before school
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except for this spouse!

Schoolbags sat by the front door half packed
She had survived the school holidays - the mental load had finally cracked
Lunches were forgotten and shoes were too tight
"Christ i cant wait for some peace" she thought that night

The children were sleeping fast in their beds
With dreams of reunions with all their friends
Where classes are bubbles and tables are pods
They couldn't give a toss, school was finally restarting- thank god!!

When down in the kitchen arose such a clatter,
Husband ran down to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen he flew like a light
His wife sat celebrating at the table, finally things were right
"I want them to go and have a fantastic day, just a shame that this sodding virus hasnt yet gone away"

For the first time in months everyone would be in their rightful place
She literally could not wait for some mental (and personal) space

The work to do list was racing around in her mind
Her husband realised she needed a massive glass of wine

We've waited for this day for schools to re-start
Its finally here, they'll be learning again- thank god school will do art
She gave a big grin and sank her large glass
And said to herself "pray to the covid God's that it lasts"

But six long months have passed
During which the dementors have gone wild
Clearly none of them has a bored, lonely child

Some might feel nervous and perhaps feel sad
The bottom line is the stats are not bad
Get your kids back to school and quit all your moaning
I'm frankly sick of the hysterical moaning

Love it 😂 😂 🤣 I've seen the original doing the rounds and it makes me want to scream. I'd wanted to try and write a better version, glad someone has!
Juststopswimming · 29/08/2020 18:41

That cutesy poem has given me immense rage the past couple of days!!

Loving the new version - your friend is a genius!! 🤣

Justgivemewine · 29/08/2020 18:51

Oh that’s a much better version. Well done to your friend.

TheOrchidKiller · 29/08/2020 19:26

Bloody FIL! Has just phoned DH to tell him there is "a spike" in cases in our electoral ward. So I checked the official map with the shades of blue. Cases in our electoral ward as of 25th Aug=0-2

Cases in PILS electoral ward =0-2

According to the local paper website today, new cases in the county today = 3.

Cases to date in the county since the start of this = approx 3,300.

DH says population in the county is about 1 million.

I rest my case.

Spike, my arse. (FIL is nice but has always been an armchair newsreader. He needs a new hobby.)

SomewhereEast · 29/08/2020 19:48

[quote Ibake]@SomewhereEast DH and I have just been discussing which country leader might be first to show some backbone and break ranks. (Obvs not including Sweden, US and Brazil in that). He thinks Merkel I'm thinking Spain or France. One of them, surely, must at some point say 'hang on, this uptick in cases isn't leading to anything'.

Would love to think our esteemed leader would have been a bit more impressive (Ha!). It's a funny old time when I'm rooting for normally deeply irritating Tory backbenchers. [/quote]
I thought the French were going to do it, but Macron was quoted today muttering about a second lockdown. I reckon the French would riot though & good on 'em Grin. I'm quite intrigued about Germany, as there seems to be more pushback there than elsewhere. I lived in Berlin for a bit way way back & used to speak decent German, but I'm far too rusty to keep up with the news there now. The pushback there is often described as far right, but the one German friend I know who is very anti-lockdown is a lefty parent primarily concerned about the impact on children.

DominaShantotto · 29/08/2020 19:54

DH's boss is German and apparently there's a lot of discontent over there about all of this - which isn't being reported on MN where every other country are doing "rules" properly and of course the UK aren't (I was the only unmasked person in Tesco the other day after I nearly passed out in there).

SomewhereEast · 29/08/2020 20:22

MN is very weird about that. I'm Irish & I remember the weird phase where Ireland was being held up alongside Scotland as the Zero Covid paradise where everyone unquestioningly obeyed The Roolz, even though my Irish hometown was having all the usual issues with teens gathering outdoors to party & everyone heading to the same scenic bit of seafront for their daily exercise. Now Ireland's seeing steep rises in numbers testing positive & has more cases per capita than England & everyone's stopped going on about it Grin. There's definitely a weird reverse version of British exceptionalism which rejoices in the idea that the Brits are the worst at everything. I'm as Remain as they come & even I find it annoying.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 29/08/2020 20:22

@Thanksitsgotpockets
@amicissimma

I understood it was 1 in 10,000 not 4 in 10,000
BUT
whichever it is, is independent of the number of cases. It will give, on average, the same number of false positives whether there is no genuine cases or 1000.

But yes - it can easily make it appear that an area has an outbreak - or a bigger outbreak. Especially as I imagine the inaccurate tests come in batches.

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 29/08/2020 21:11

I've (bare) faced the supermarket. Last time I was hyperventilating before I'd made it down aisle 1. With only about 6 people in there, even if I was riddled with DEATH, I'd struggle to double or tripple the number of cases in the city single handedly.

At least the cinema car park looked far busier as I drove past. I clearly have warped priorities for a Saturday night. Grin

amicissimma · 29/08/2020 21:57

Reality, I don't think anyone really knows what the false positive rate is. I assume it could be because it's a kind of circular argument to work it out: we don't know what the true rate of positives is because we don't know the rate of false positives which we don't know because we don't know the rate of true positives. But someone who knows more about what's going on might be able to correct me on that!

Meanwhile, we were just going on the figures from the Tweet and article that Thanksitsgotpockets linked to, which was taking the false positive rate at 0.4% (if it said why, I missed it), ie 400 per 100,000.

Dowser · 29/08/2020 22:12

@SomewhereEast
Here’s a photo of the Berlin protest
Nepal

ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
Dowser · 29/08/2020 22:14

Here’s a list of where the next protests are going to be in the uk

ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
Dowser · 29/08/2020 22:15

Carnival in Bristol tomorrow

ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
Dowser · 29/08/2020 22:17

Edinburgh sat sept 5
Glasgow sun sept 6

ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
Dowser · 29/08/2020 22:18

Nothing in york ☹️

Thanksitsgotpockets · 29/08/2020 22:26

@amicissimma

Reality, I don't think anyone really knows what the false positive rate is. I assume it could be because it's a kind of circular argument to work it out: we don't know what the true rate of positives is because we don't know the rate of false positives which we don't know because we don't know the rate of true positives. But someone who knows more about what's going on might be able to correct me on that!

Meanwhile, we were just going on the figures from the Tweet and article that Thanksitsgotpockets linked to, which was taking the false positive rate at 0.4% (if it said why, I missed it), ie 400 per 100,000.

It was the lowest figure in a document that was written by two people who've made submissions to sage. I'm not sure exactly what this document was used for but it's well referenced. <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/895843/S0519_Impact_of_false_positives_and_negatives.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjZoZSz48DrAhXhVBUIHffaDb4QFjAAegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw09SwJFWA4XgwYBHC_2lA7i" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/895843/S0519_Impact_of_false_positives_and_negatives.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjZoZSz48DrAhXhVBUIHffaDb4QFjAAegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw09SwJFWA4XgwYBHC_2lA7i
ADs dream of 'bum' tomatoes, gin and tonic sorbet and next year's holidays
justasking111 · 29/08/2020 22:29

@Dowser

Nothing in york ☹️
Nothing in N Wales either.

A gentleman asked politely about the timings of tomorrows extinction rebellion protest on our local FB page. I bet he wishes he hadn`t he was torn to shreds and told the police would arrest him etc.

Dowser · 29/08/2020 23:06

@justasking111
No just Cardiff and Swansea
Sept 8 and 9

Dowser · 29/08/2020 23:12

Dr Dolores cahill at today’s protest

Not one healthy child has died worldwide, so you need to tell your children’s teachers
Masks make you sick. You should not be wearing masks
If you have covid symptoms , we have excellent treatments..hydroxychloroquinone
She talks about malfeasance

justasking111 · 29/08/2020 23:16

[quote Dowser]@justasking111
No just Cardiff and Swansea
Sept 8 and 9[/quote]
Cardiff and Swansea are a four hour drive minimum from home for us. We are away then anyway. I hope there is a good turnout.

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