I am clearly doing money very wrong in comparison to 90 per cent of my friends.

[ComplexPTSDmaybe]

My new (as of July) monthly take home income is £2580. A rise of £480 (new job that I worked very hard for) Income used to be £2100.

My household bills are £1261.98. Which means I now have £1349.02 for food, petrol and general expenses. I have 3DC's. I am £800 overdrawn. I have slowly got this down from £2600 debit this time last year (thank you lockdown). I do an internet shop weekly that costs about £60. Top ups from farm shop and local coop - prob around £40 per week. Petrol is max £20 per week. My car is 8 years old. My mortgage is reasonable (£460) for a small 3 bed new build. I pay £260 in student loans - my only debt (I have 3 degrees). Only eldest DC and myself have a phone (£50 per month for both).

This summer hols I have taken my DC's to the seaside once, eaten out three times in a pub and two cafes (twice for a birthday, once on day out). We are going on holiday for a week in Ireland, ferry and cheap Air BnB (all paid for). Looking on FB I am do very little in comparison to many - others seem to do lots of eating out, days out, house renovations, garden renovations, new cars, holidays in the UK. Know a fair few of these are on furlough so they will have more opportunity to go out so will seem busier and that is fair.

I think I should be able to afford that level of activity/house/garden improvements with my income but can't seem to stretch it. It seems that stuff always comes up e.g. My dc's birthdays are clustered around this time of year so that is x3 £100 outlay, MOT comes up in summer too £250 ish generally, TV broke so that sets me back. School uniforms in August £250. Then Christmas comes up. I feel like I am always chasing my tail. What am I handling badly? My exH took and handled all the money including my wage so I do feel like I have never really got a grip on it. I really want to start managing my money better - first I want to get rid of the overdraft and feel like the money I earn in a month is mine. Then I would like mine and DC's lifestyle to be a bit better - do more things. My marriage to my ex was awful (broken bones and lots of financial, sexual and psychological abuse). I would like a bit of joy now I am past just surviving. Any ideas?

[ComplexPTSDmaybe]

The phones are on contract with Tesco mobile, a year left. £50 a month for both so I will have to suck that up for a year.

I have changed the contact lenses, I am now paying £27 a month from end of Sept. Checked re my water rates (not on a meter) and that amount is right.

I have downloaded Emma app (couldn't get on with YNAB) and I am going to pay off the overdraft with my pay rise, so by October pay day I should be starting from zero. Thanks for all the advice

[Calm33]

Move to giff gaff - I was paying between £35-46 ppm for my O2 account and I could never get my head around it as I was only using the phone as a phone. Now I pay £10 for everything and they say I can reduce it to £6pcm and I am serving the internet and using it for directions when out now.
The monthly outgoings, weekly and yearly have to be put on a chart - paper or computer whichever makes you realise the reality, I prefer paper for this. I have a pot of money which I use for purchases during the week, any money not used one week moves into the next week and at the end of the month I put it away for celebrations, using my cc as little as possible. I don't use the debit card at all as I find spending runs away with me. Be careful with mot prices as garages love to charge.

Just look at the prices you are paying for each item does it justify the price? I'd love to shop in certain shops but I cannot. For Christmas we have a limit on what we spend and it is hard but the season we feel is all about enjoying each others company but not so much for birthdays.

Remember you do not know if these people spending all this money are living on credit! Keep you balance in the black and you will be a happy and relaxed person.

[CaffeineInfusion]

You've come through a divorce and it's full on with children and work and sole responsibility for it all. It's hard but you've done it. 💪

A couple of tweaks will set you right up. I have a bills account. Annual cost of house bills divided by 12, then leave it to it. This includes my mobile and Netflix plus car costs excluding petrol.

Shopping, I do one online shop a week. Fresh veg at the start, moving on to frozen when it runs out. Makes budgeting easier for me.

Savings in another account, then I forget it.

Your annual present buying costs etc, again divide by 12 and set aside.

Working like this has been easy for me. I earn prob a third you do. I never go overdrawn. Think before I buy, and also don't use much social media. It helps not to see what I know I really can't afford to have.

PP beat me to suggest you save your payrise. Your overdraft will be gone and you'll be pleasantly surprised in a year's time how good things are.

When I first read this thread it made me think. I made changes to my broadband too. 👍

[DufferedUp]

Monthly contact lenses - I wear mine for 2 months. They don't self destruct after 30 days.

Phone insurance - open a Nationwide Flex Plus account. You'll have to have your wage paid into it but it charges £13 a month and you get phone insurance (4 claims a year), travel insurance, breakdown cover.

[Shellekin]

This might be useful...
facebook.com/events/s/mums-power-hour-money-matters/927834691042634/?ti=icl

[Yankathebear]

You are doing well op.
Budgeting and saving becomes addictive once you are out of debt.
Well done on the promotion.

[Oblahdeeoblahdoe]

Could you ask if it would be cheaper to go on a water meter? We went from paying £60 a month to 18! That was 4 9f us in a 4 bed house. I was also going to recommend the Nationwide Flex plus account. If you know someone who can recommend you then you both get £100 when you're accepted. Not sure you'll be able to do this until you've paid off the overdraft but might be a good idea after October. You're on the way!

[Notreallyhappy]

You need a zero based budget. It's gives every £ a job even if the job is sitting waiting for a birthday to turn up ( sinking funds)

Look up budget mom.

[Graphista]

I think the phone thing people need to be clear/understand that eg £7 a month "for a phone" is usage only? I'm pretty sure that doesn't include costs for the phone itself and lots of people, op included a year ago, don't have the funds or credit available to buy a phone outright.

I don't usually though I'm hoping to be more organised next time I have to upgrade which I'm hoping won't be for at least 3 years.

Budgeting app experts (sorry slight thread hijack op) do any of these have a facility where it alerts you if an account is going under/over an amount you set? I would find this VERY useful.