I am clearly doing money very wrong in comparison to 90 per cent of my friends.

[ComplexPTSDmaybe]

My new (as of July) monthly take home income is £2580. A rise of £480 (new job that I worked very hard for) Income used to be £2100.

My household bills are £1261.98. Which means I now have £1349.02 for food, petrol and general expenses. I have 3DC's. I am £800 overdrawn. I have slowly got this down from £2600 debit this time last year (thank you lockdown). I do an internet shop weekly that costs about £60. Top ups from farm shop and local coop - prob around £40 per week. Petrol is max £20 per week. My car is 8 years old. My mortgage is reasonable (£460) for a small 3 bed new build. I pay £260 in student loans - my only debt (I have 3 degrees). Only eldest DC and myself have a phone (£50 per month for both).

This summer hols I have taken my DC's to the seaside once, eaten out three times in a pub and two cafes (twice for a birthday, once on day out). We are going on holiday for a week in Ireland, ferry and cheap Air BnB (all paid for). Looking on FB I am do very little in comparison to many - others seem to do lots of eating out, days out, house renovations, garden renovations, new cars, holidays in the UK. Know a fair few of these are on furlough so they will have more opportunity to go out so will seem busier and that is fair.

I think I should be able to afford that level of activity/house/garden improvements with my income but can't seem to stretch it. It seems that stuff always comes up e.g. My dc's birthdays are clustered around this time of year so that is x3 £100 outlay, MOT comes up in summer too £250 ish generally, TV broke so that sets me back. School uniforms in August £250. Then Christmas comes up. I feel like I am always chasing my tail. What am I handling badly? My exH took and handled all the money including my wage so I do feel like I have never really got a grip on it. I really want to start managing my money better - first I want to get rid of the overdraft and feel like the money I earn in a month is mine. Then I would like mine and DC's lifestyle to be a bit better - do more things. My marriage to my ex was awful (broken bones and lots of financial, sexual and psychological abuse). I would like a bit of joy now I am past just surviving. Any ideas?

[Graphista]

I think the phone thing people need to be clear/understand that eg £7 a month "for a phone" is usage only? I'm pretty sure that doesn't include costs for the phone itself and lots of people, op included a year ago, don't have the funds or credit available to buy a phone outright.

I don't usually though I'm hoping to be more organised next time I have to upgrade which I'm hoping won't be for at least 3 years.

Budgeting app experts (sorry slight thread hijack op) do any of these have a facility where it alerts you if an account is going under/over an amount you set? I would find this VERY useful.

[Notreallyhappy]

You need a zero based budget. It's gives every £ a job even if the job is sitting waiting for a birthday to turn up ( sinking funds)

Look up budget mom.

[Oblahdeeoblahdoe]

Could you ask if it would be cheaper to go on a water meter? We went from paying £60 a month to 18! That was 4 9f us in a 4 bed house. I was also going to recommend the Nationwide Flex plus account. If you know someone who can recommend you then you both get £100 when you're accepted. Not sure you'll be able to do this until you've paid off the overdraft but might be a good idea after October. You're on the way!

[Yankathebear]

You are doing well op.
Budgeting and saving becomes addictive once you are out of debt.
Well done on the promotion.

[Shellekin]

This might be useful...
facebook.com/events/s/mums-power-hour-money-matters/927834691042634/?ti=icl

[DufferedUp]

Monthly contact lenses - I wear mine for 2 months. They don't self destruct after 30 days.

Phone insurance - open a Nationwide Flex Plus account. You'll have to have your wage paid into it but it charges £13 a month and you get phone insurance (4 claims a year), travel insurance, breakdown cover.

[CaffeineInfusion]

You've come through a divorce and it's full on with children and work and sole responsibility for it all. It's hard but you've done it. 💪

A couple of tweaks will set you right up. I have a bills account. Annual cost of house bills divided by 12, then leave it to it. This includes my mobile and Netflix plus car costs excluding petrol.

Shopping, I do one online shop a week. Fresh veg at the start, moving on to frozen when it runs out. Makes budgeting easier for me.

Savings in another account, then I forget it.

Your annual present buying costs etc, again divide by 12 and set aside.

Working like this has been easy for me. I earn prob a third you do. I never go overdrawn. Think before I buy, and also don't use much social media. It helps not to see what I know I really can't afford to have.

PP beat me to suggest you save your payrise. Your overdraft will be gone and you'll be pleasantly surprised in a year's time how good things are.

When I first read this thread it made me think. I made changes to my broadband too. 👍

[Calm33]

Move to giff gaff - I was paying between £35-46 ppm for my O2 account and I could never get my head around it as I was only using the phone as a phone. Now I pay £10 for everything and they say I can reduce it to £6pcm and I am serving the internet and using it for directions when out now.
The monthly outgoings, weekly and yearly have to be put on a chart - paper or computer whichever makes you realise the reality, I prefer paper for this. I have a pot of money which I use for purchases during the week, any money not used one week moves into the next week and at the end of the month I put it away for celebrations, using my cc as little as possible. I don't use the debit card at all as I find spending runs away with me. Be careful with mot prices as garages love to charge.

Just look at the prices you are paying for each item does it justify the price? I'd love to shop in certain shops but I cannot. For Christmas we have a limit on what we spend and it is hard but the season we feel is all about enjoying each others company but not so much for birthdays.

Remember you do not know if these people spending all this money are living on credit! Keep you balance in the black and you will be a happy and relaxed person.

[ComplexPTSDmaybe]

The phones are on contract with Tesco mobile, a year left. £50 a month for both so I will have to suck that up for a year.

I have changed the contact lenses, I am now paying £27 a month from end of Sept. Checked re my water rates (not on a meter) and that amount is right.

I have downloaded Emma app (couldn't get on with YNAB) and I am going to pay off the overdraft with my pay rise, so by October pay day I should be starting from zero. Thanks for all the advice

[BarbaraofSeville]

I doubt the OP is entitled to top ups, her salary is well over £40k pa. What is more relevant is that she's approaching the level where she might start to lose CB due to being a high earner, although she should stay below that point if she's paying into a pension.

Kimbob Sounds like you need to read the thread for ideas, analyse your spending, look at a budget planner and see where your money is going, because it sounds like there's a huge hole somewhere.

Have you been getting lots of deliveries (takeaways or online shopping). What's your partner's spending habits like? You should have a surplus of at least a couple of grand a month building up. I'd be worried someone is gambling or squirrelling money away elsewhere if you're getting through that amount of money with a small mortgage and not doing much due to lockdown.

[Celestine70]

You have a lot more spare cash than many so I don't know what you are doing wrong. Have you checked if you can get universal credit top up.

[LittleGsmum]

This is a great chat thread, so many useful and bloody genius tips. This is where mumsnet does good! Thanks to posters

[angelfacecuti75]

Ps kids are expensive...not surprised you are overdrawn !

[angelfacecuti75]

Pressies*

[angelfacecuti75]

Put some money away in an account every month for your mot ...that you don't look at very often. Buy pressures throughout the year in sales.

[Kimbob33]

Jeeze I feel you badly. I’ve been debt free now for almost a year. During lockdown thought we’d save hundreds. My partners income is very close to 4,000 a month mine 1,200 so between us we should be quids in but again, during lockdown seem to have less. I’m lost. We don’t do anything more than we would usually in fact we’ve done much less we haven’t even had a holiday. One night away is all since the beginning of the year! I’m baffled as to why. My mortgage is only 340.00 a month plus usual household expenses! Plus my credit file has gone down ridiculously. Rang them today they told me they cannot see why. Everything is paid on time etc. Think it’s time to make a budget planner but on 5,200 a month between us if we cannot survive then how the fuck can anyone on less than that! Scary times!

[SurroundedByIdiotsEverywhere]

You can defo cut cost on your bills...

£50 for two phones a month?

Twp phone contracts with unlimited calls, 4GB of data etc can both be had for under £15 total a month unless you need the latest model phones every year...

Water rates use a meter, the 2 of you will not use enough if you pay a flat yearly charge.

Have you switched elec/gas? Don't stay with the same company unless they give you the best price!

I pay £7 a month for phone, £13 a month for Sky tv (Entertaiment) £25 month unlimited fast fibre broadband, home phone & TT TV £25 month, unlimited calls to mobiles and landlines)

You can save money by bargaining, you have the power as you are the customer, they want & need you!

Good luck!

[SurroundedByIdiotsEverywhere]

'MOT comes up in summer too £250 ish generally'

If you are paying this each year for an MOT then no wonder you are broke!

[Liz79]

I think you're doing great op.
My hints would be, like others have said, have a good look at money saving expert website and sign up for his emails. Use the comparison tools to make sure you're paying as little as possible for gas/elec, phones (i think £50 is a lot for 2 mobiles), Internet, mortgage etc.

After reading MSE I adopted the piggy bank/pots/envelope system - before the days of monzo etc.

Using excel, I know how much all my DD & SO add up to. On pay day I transfer that amount from my Spending current account to the bills current account. Whats leftover is allowed to be spent.

ALL direct debits and standing orders go from the Bills account. Some of the standing orders are to my other accounts:

Car fund (cash isa)
Untouchable emergency fund (higher interest regular saver)
Christmas fund (instant access savings)
Kid fund (joint ac with STBEXH, we both pay in the same amount plus the child benefit goes in. Things like school uniform, music and swimming lessons, scouts, guides etc come out)

I also look at the year as a whole and ÷12, some expenses are predictable. Again, I did this after reading MSE website. Eg car expenses. I went through all bank statements and added up EVERY car expense (except fuel) for the last 12 months. ÷12 and then rounded it up a bit. This amount is paid by standing order from my bills ac to my car fund (a cash isa). When the insurance has to be paid or I need new tyres I transfer the exact price from the car fund to the spending ac. No stress.

I do need a holiday fund.

[HerNameWasEliza]

We pay 35 for 4 phones with tesco mobile. Not flash but they do the job

[Lovely13]

Sounds like you are doing an amazing job OP. My only tiny contribution would be your phone cost. £50 for two phones is very high. I pay £35 for two with Vodafone, unlimited calls, lots of data etc. And tbh, don’t think I’m getting the best deal with them. Definitely check out Martin Lewis website. He’s on a mission to get us all saving money! Good luck with it all.

[LBOCS2]

Your household spends are your household spends. It is what it is, you've had lots of advice on how to reduce them if you want - i think the main thing that would have an impact is changing your contact lens provider (I get mine online and it's literally half the price) but none of the rest seems excessive and it becomes a payoff between time and money when you really try to cut them to the bone (particularly, I find, with food shopping).

In terms of making your disposable income work harder for you, there are lots of things you can do. In the first instance if I were you I'd start saving the pay rise money straight away. You won't miss it - you've been without it up to now - and it will create a pot you can dip into for birthdays/car repairs/holidays etc. If you feel mentally able to go after your ex for the rest of the child benefit and some maintenance, that could go in there too.

When you're spending the disposable income, particularly on experiences, definitely shop around. Sign up to places and follow them on fb (local theatre mailing lists, MSE newsletters, days out guides, the lot) because that way you'll be the first to know when they have offers on, and pounce on them. Set up flight trackers if you're planning on going on holiday. Use camelcamelcamel for Amazon purchases, especially big ones (also good for birthday presents if you have an idea in advance). Book things in advance, especially days out, it's often cheaper. Consider buying a National Trust or similar membership to use as well. Sign up to and check cashback websites (I've had £1600 off Quidco in 5 years, which is worth having!) Literally don't buy anything without checking for a voucher and/or cashback. Same applies to buying school uniform, renewing your insurances, etc. You can make it all go much further if you hustle a bit, and that will improve your lifestyle a lot :)

[jwpetal]

Hi. Look at your buildings and content. We pay £25 a month and we are in London with bigger home. We just renewed and more than covered everything. Also, contacts. I get mine through online. I search for branded and much cheaper then stores.
Do you have to have phone insurance? Martin Lewis covers this issue.
You are doing great. We also use the jam jar method to cover all our bills.

[Authenticcelestialmusic]

I’m only halfway through the thread. Contact lenses from spec savers are 12.50 a month. www.specsavers.co.uk/contact-lenses/daily-disposables/easyvision-sential. I get month wear ones and it includes my eye tests and contact lens checks too.

[Oblahdeeoblahdoe]

Firstly, I want to say you're doing tremendously well, bringing up 3 DC on your own and working FT. I know how expensive it is to feed and clothe growing kids, I could never fill my DS when he was a teenager.
You've received loads of advice on here about how to budget, my couple of tips are; buy contact lenses online - I've used daysoft for years £12 a month and I can't believe how high your water bill is. Are you on a meter? Once we moved to one our bills were halved. Good luck OP, you've done the hard part now to just budgeting a bit more carefully and you and your DC will get the lives you deserve.