Two wedding gowns

[kierawhogives]

I tragically have two wedding dress- due to having a weekend wedding being revised for a covid wedding.

I cannot pick one. It's been in my closet for a year- and as plans have changed, I don't think I can wear both now due to having a small, short wedding.

Which dress do you think I should wear? Some friends are telling me to still wear both- i just can't be bothered, really.

Here are the pics

Ohhhh heh I see what happened! I thought the back of the dress you can see in the background was a mirror image but it was another model on the runway! Duh!

Anyway, my vote is for dress no.2 now that I’ve seen it properly.

I'm having a late autumnal- into winter wedding. It hasn't been set in stone at the moment.

I don't think the weather matters considering all that is happening.

I cannot seem to choose, as I like both.

It is a stunning dress.

They both truly are beautiful. But I think what’s making it difficult it setting it up as a choice between them both. I honestly don’t think you need to choose one over the other.

Whichever one you wear don’t do anything to the other one. Save it and wear it later. Even if you have to wear it on your first anniversary!

I love the second one and if you’re doing a late autumn wedding you could buy/ have made a faux fur jacket that would go very nicely over the top - would be v Chanel

Sorry about the cancellations, it all sucks

More photos of the front of the first dress.

They're from the same designer but they're different to me. It's like choosing between lace and chiffon silk, IYKWIM.

I have had a look at your new photos and I am still with number 1.

Which one is not 'boho' bride? I never thought of either dresses 'boho', as that's not my style.

It seems some brides like body tight wedding gowns- I chose something I wanted to look elegant in.

I'm not knocking people who wear body tight cleavage-y dresses, but it's just not what I wanted for a wedding day.

Now I'm afraid it will look 'boho', as I'm definitely not going for that vibe.

I loved the first lacy dress on sight, it is so pretty and could dress up or dress down for a smaller occasion if you see what I mean.
But. The new photos of the second dress - it does look stunning.
I think you are unable to chose because it is quite hard to have a long held dream taken away or altered and at the same time you are worried about your dear dad.
You will look beautiful in which ever dress you choose, your day will still be special for you and your family.
Why wait 10 years? have a 1 year anniversary party and wear one of the dresses.

I love the first

My father has French heritage, and is v. Proud of it. Mum is English and dad's mum is French. So they had a wedding in England, and then in France.

I was continuing the tradition for my father - and my grandmother. I chose a small chateau to have a French wedding after the church wedding, like they did.

My dresses are also French, and their style is different. It is elegant, and quite simple. (They call if 'effortless').

I don't understand how either dress looks boho, it's the way the French dress for their wedding. And to give a tribute to my grandmother and father, I loved wearing a French dress and doing the rest v. English.

Anyway, thanks for your input. I'm just incredibly saddened by a lot of things.

Don’t get hung up on what terms others might have used to describe it - the person who said ‘boho’ (bohemian) could well have been referencing that ethereal quality that you love.

Wishing you the best. Perhaps don’t choose a dress right now unless there is an urgent reason for doing so...If your wedding is later in the year, leave it and decide closer to the time, once you have had time to make your peace with your new wedding plans.

Dad's father is English, and dad considers himself English growing up in England. But he has always had an affinity for the French side of his family- which I have cherished.

The French don't do body skimming dresses for their weddings - and I love both dresses.

I can't seem to choose- maybe I'll wear both on the day of. It seems a bit odd even for me to change when the other dress was for the French wedding with a 150 friends and family.

Your father will love your beautiful day. I’m so sorry for the pain you are in and the sadness, it must be so difficult.

Are you comfortable to let him see you wear both of the dresses (if he hasn’t already) and choose for you? Perhaps he will know which one is the ‘right’ one to wear on the day.

💐

@Ninkanink

I think I'm saddened I can't do the French wedding At a later date as he is not well, doc has said his disease may progress faster.

I do not think I can handle a big party in France without him or with him v. Sick. So doing a bigger party later is unlikely.

So that is fhe part I'm trying to incorporate into the small wedding, which is impossible.

He saw the dresses a year ago, not sure he even remembers them but he did look pleased bc it was very 'French' and nanna would have been ecstatic.

I don't think it matters anymore. I hope he is able bodied during the wedding. That's all I can hope for isn't it.

I need to pick a dress, as I thats the only thing I have any control over it seems

Both are lovely but the first is much more of a “wedding” dress.
If you’re keeping both wear the first for your wedding and have the second dyed for a special event with your family in future - party for your first wedding anniversary perhaps?
I hope you enjoy your day OP.

The first is very pretty & romantic, & I think your more fitted version sounds even nicer. If you're only going to wear one, I vote for that one.

Just take deep breaths, & try to relax & not worry. It can still be a magical day, even if it's not what you'd set your heart on. There's been so little to celebrate recently that your wedding day will stand out & be very special. You're going to look beautiful, you're going to marry the man you love (& neither of you can wait to get married!). You're going to start your own family. There's so much about this that's good & wonderful.

The first dress is stunning. I'm quite jealous actually as that was what I had envisaged for my wedding but never found one like it.
I'm so sorry your wedding plans have been cancelled. I would also be upset in your position. I know we can say things could be worse and to be grateful for having your health etc but it still doesnt mean it isn't shit. Have an adult version of a tantrum, cry, vent , scream, give out about the unfairness of it all, whatever helps and then once it's out of your system step back and look at how you are going to make this new version of your wedding just as special and meaningful. Because it will be just as meaningful and will be a great story to tell your children some day, about how their mum and dad got married during a global pandemic - it will sound very romantic to them

I understand that it’s a huge burden on your heart, of course.

Perhaps you could wear one dress for the ceremony and formal photos, then change and wear the other for the reception. If it were me, I think that’s what I would do. I think it’s important to you that your dad sees you wearing both, which is why you are finding it impossible to choose.

I would think about the date, pick a final date & get that sorted, then make some plans for the day itself (if there is anything else to choose or arrange). After you have got your mind used to your new wedding I think you will know instinctively what is right for the day.

@Ninkanink

Yes. I think I will wear both for my father. I really need to pull myself together for his health and to be there for mum.

It's a wedding of 10, unless the restrictions change, then we will go ahead and change to 30 or whatever the government allows.

I'm needing to pull myself together fast- as it's not helping my dad or mum to be angered or sad.

I also am tired of the pandemic being the only the thing people seem to care about- dad has onset of early Alzheimer's, and on this thread it seem some posters want me to suck it up bc it's his illness is not about coronavirus. But that's the way it seems to be now, and I feel v. Alone.

The first one is beautiful, I would pick that and why doesn't your partner want to wait. Surely if you want to wait your partner would understand that under the circumstances, you say you are totally devestated that plans are not going ahead as you made them, but surely you can have the exact same plans next year, then the devastation is gone and you can be happy again?

Is there really that much of a rush to start having children immediately (I would say don't do it!! haha only joking, kind of!), especially with COVID still hanging around, I would put off any plans of potentially heading to hospital for ANY reason for the next year or so. It would be nice for you and your partner to spend a little married time together first, as life changes massively as soon as you are parents, so not much chance to do couple things if kids come along straight away.

My fiance and I were getting married this November and because of all this COVID and the uncertainty, we moved it to next November, no biggie, no upset, no tears, just a bit more time to look forward to our special day.

Good luck with however it does work out for you xx

@Watsitallabout

Partner is 41, I'm 38, he doesn't want to be a first time dad at 45, is that ok with you? He wants to be around for his children as long as possible. Pandemic or not. Is that ok?

Haven't read the full thread - almost 200 posts. But, OMG that second dress is gorgeous. From what I've read I'm in the minority. But it's stunning IMO. Possibly cause it's less bridal I guess

Its all OK with me Kiera, I am not the one devetated or asking for advice, I only shared my opinion with you - you are perfectly capable of ignoring my rubbish advice, its your life, its your decision, its your devestation, you carry on lovely xx