ADs deflower male cucumbers for the Greater Good. All phallic aubergines welcome .

[BogRollBOGOF]

Because bitter male cucumbers don't bring joy, but phallic aubergines can raise an irreverent smile.

AD chat continues about life, the universe and everything. We know the answer is 42 but what is the question?
6x7?
How many roads must a man walk down?
How many unsadly reincarnations have PHE put into the database?

Hi all, I commented a couple of months ago and many threads back but I just wanted to say I'm still here lurking and getting my daily dose of sanity from you. I tend to lurk because I've been shouted down about too many things on MN and on FB but I wanted you to know how much I appreciate this safe haven. In real life though, people do gradually seem to be getting more sensible so I think I am just limiting my social media to a couple of times a day and doing more real world activities. I'm doing more gardening, although I only have a balcony it now resembles a jungle! I've also been avoiding the news on TV. The joy of painting with Bob Ross (BBC 4) is a brilliant antidote to all the stress in the world although I don't/can't paint along.

@justasking111 So am I right in thinking because of masks people are now getting up close and personal, some folk choose to wear masks here, but we still steer around each other politely. Mind you it might be different in a city. That is daft you do not swap one for the other. I am sure BoJo and Sturgeon did not advocate that.
Of course Saints Boris and Nicola did not advocate that. Somebody in government knew that masks are easier to police than distancing (even though Boris still has no intention of enforcing masks, despite scary headlines of bigger fines), and people have long since lost their patience with SD. It might be another reason why masks were brought in so late - somebody sensible knew that that people would think "a magic mask means you don't have to SD".

I had a meeting this week where we were discussing plans to reopen a community hall. It was true "Yes Minister" in style, following the law of inverse relevance: the less you intend to do about something, the more you have to keep talking about it. We planned all the safety measures that hirers must swear in writing they will follow (e.g. one way systems, sanitising EVERYTHING that has been touched), knowing full well that people are unlikely to follow this to the letter. This meeting took place in a corridor, only one mask to be seen (worn incorrectly), and I don't think 2m was observed. The irony!

@BogRollBOGOF

I've done our uniform online with M&S, although I'd do that anyway. With only one size between both DSs, I cruelly just buy the bigger size and let DS2 look slightly drowned rather than the constant palaver of checking every label. Until Christmas they shared a room so had a drawer to shove the lot in anyway.

I have bought different socks this time. They've both gone up a size together so DS2 has coloured toes, and DS1 the plain seamless ones. Since seperating rooms, socks have been a PITA.

At least last year was the year that I decided the polo shirts had enough length and didn't look too trashed, so kept the old ones. Just as well as they haven't had the full year!

It's just remembering what they wear for PE, which is confusing as DS1 came off swimming at Feb half term so has only had about 3 weeks of PE in the past 18m!

Both mine are in the same size. Makes life so much easier.

Hello all! Checking in! Love the new thread title @BogRollBOGOF

Evening from Melbourne.

Hope you've had some relief from your ear ache, HelenaDove.

Bit shit here - Christmas is up in the air, lockdown could continue until 2021. Usual batshit stuff from the government here.

4 deaths since yesterday - it sounds insensitive, but they are in their 80s and 90s. Lots of propaganda - 'They went to war for you, you can sit on the couch for them.'

I'm very interested in your opinions - the situation here is if you have even the mildest Covid symptom, from throat tickle, sniffle, runny poo, itchy eyes... you get the drift you should present for testing. The mobile labs are everywhere - I'm within minutes walk of two. If your test is positive (or you are identified as a close contact), you are confined to your home/ flat and not permitted to leave the property for 14 days. You will be visited at least once per day by a member of the military to check you are abiding by quarantine. If you are not home, you will face heavy fines. Police can taken enforcement action if necessary.

Would you put yourself forward for testing under these circumstances? Or would you self-isolate if you became symptomatic?

I ask because my DM, who has developed mental health problems over the past few months is completely obsessed with the idea she has the virus. She was tested two days ago (and thankfully was negative - no surprise, but I was concerned there may be a false positive). She was traumatised waiting for results, and I was incredibly anxious about being identified as her close contact, should she test positive. The consequences for me would be unthinkable - living in small flat with DH and autistic DS. I didn't sleep for the past two nights, and still can't believe she potentially exposed us all to the totalitarian quarantine enforcement regime.

Why would anyone voluntarily present for testing? Thousands a day are coming forward. Interested what outsiders think. We're all slowly going mad here.

Jesus. No way would I present for testing.

Thanks, SirSamuel. I just cannot make sense of the mass compliance here.

It would put me off going unless I really thought my symptoms were Covid-19.

DH asked me whether I going to download the new Uk app and I was like 'not in a million years'. If someone I know who I have been close to is tested positive then yes I would self isolate but otherwise no.

Hello all! I have missed so many of these threads now! But I just thought I'd check in to say I MADE IT ON HOLIDAY and am currently constantly chasing a toddler round the pool enjoying the sun in Crete. The Dementors would hate it here - it all feels far too relaxed and "normal" (except for masks in shops). I don't even care if I have to quarantine when I get home - it will have been worth it to get this break away from the UK

Morning all. Saw this and thought of you all

Being hayfever season right from the point that all this blew up, I very regularly have some kind of prickly throat or sniffy nose. It's my normal, and I know that I haven't been in any riskier situations than doing the week's shop in all that time. If I had clearer, distinctive symptoms then I would test.

As a family, I don't work and DH is based from home at present so as unattractive as self-isolation is, it's an inconvenience rather than worrying about incomes and keeping the motgage being paid.

I try to keep my concerns and worries to what is, and what is likely. Too far into what-iffery is very easily overwhelming.

I'm casually following the debacle of A-level results. I'm trying not to get too much into the detail of it because it's too big, not something I have an influence on (beyond any sharing of petitions) and it's not that I don't care, it's spreading my emotional capacity to care without giving too much of myself.

@skeptile, I wouldn't get tested under those circumstances. I really feel for you which sounds incredibly trite but I do mean it.

Blimey Skeptile, sounds horrible. We had the war hyperbole here too. I pointed out to one person that my dad is 89 and was a child when the war ended, you’d have to be mid nineties to even have a chance of taking part. It seems as soon as you hit 80 you you automatically become one of the war heroes.

I read an article where it mentioned that some care homes automatically play wartime music like Vera Lynne. They were trying to gently point out to these homes that if you were in your seventies you were growing up with rock and roll, the Beatles, Bob Dylan etc.

@skeptile I'm not surprised you didn't sleep with all that worry. Your DM sounds like mine a bit (MH issues worse because of this). She has done some questionable things out of extreme fear. I sympathise with her but it's hard for everyone.

@ButterMeCrumpets I'm not having the app either. I have very few extra apps on my phone anyway & they are to benefit me, not make life more difficult. I don't trust them with my data, which makes me sound like a conspiracy theorist, but if they can mess up A level grading systems they can mess up a covid app.

Everyone buying school uniform- you have my sympathy, especially for lost blazers. Both mine lost the regulation black shoes at secondary school. There was nothing like being made to spend a day in "clown shoes" to focus the mind & make them find their own shoes. "Clown shoes" indeed- they were my Docs!

Definitely wouldn't present for testing and would be hesitant having close contact with people who would just in case they turn out to be positive
The more I hear everything the more it sounds like a dystopian sci fi novel!
Just seen on my local facebook group somebody saying about people not 'obeying' the one way system on our high street and that we need some 'brave enforcement officers' to bring them into line, as if covid19 can only travel in one direction
Reminds me of something I saw right in the depths of lockdown that showed the stupidity of all this when it pointed out people quarantining post but opening amazon parcels immediately and the fact that the virus somehow knows when you've been outside for a 2nd walk but avoids you if it's your first walk

Oh, & the war time comparisons : I know it's been talked about before, & it's like comparing apples with pears.

My GPs had it tough in the war both at home & on the frontline, but they also made it clear that even though there was a war they didn't sit around wringing their hands, & they made the most of any leave & social events precisely because there was a war.

We have talked about this as a family & we agree that if any of them were still around they would hate the current situation & the war comparisons.

@Theluggage15 totally agree. FIL is in his 80s & can't bear Vera Lynne.

@BogRollBOGOF

Being hayfever season right from the point that all this blew up, I very regularly have some kind of prickly throat or sniffy nose. It's my normal, and I know that I haven't been in any riskier situations than doing the week's shop in all that time. If I had clearer, distinctive symptoms then I would test.

As a family, I don't work and DH is based from home at present so as unattractive as self-isolation is, it's an inconvenience rather than worrying about incomes and keeping the motgage being paid.

I try to keep my concerns and worries to what is, and what is likely. Too far into what-iffery is very easily overwhelming.

I'm casually following the debacle of A-level results. I'm trying not to get too much into the detail of it because it's too big, not something I have an influence on (beyond any sharing of petitions) and it's not that I don't care, it's spreading my emotional capacity to care without giving too much of myself.

I feel the same. I can wfh now but dp can't.

But I absolutely know it's not covid because I feel the same every year.

I'll only get tested if I start coughing or have a high temp for more than 24 hours.

@Vintagelovingmum
as if covid19 can only travel in one direction

But didn't you know that was true?! Same as it can't get you if you keep 8 steps from the person in front of you on the escalator, but there are no rules about keeping 8 steps from the person on the escalator next to you. I can only conclude it can't be transmitted in a sideways direction

I love the idea of highly trained military professionals being redeployed to enforce a one way system on Stoke on Trent high street.

I knew this was type of thread frequented by the type of woman to topple the Berlin Wall.

An old friend of mine sat on her dad’s papers (medical doctor) in her buggy as they wheeled her across the checkpoint in just the clothes the stood up in - and on to a new life in the west.

According to the Melbourne roolz, I should probably get tested today...

Today I’m going to de-flea the house as the effing cat didn’t socially distance the night she stayed out - and these bloody fleas are resistant to everything bar DDT & napalm sarnies.

@BogRollBOGOF your uniform method is genius and I’d happily do that but got the fact my youngest is pocket-sized.

I am daily stunned by the calls for more rules and the accompanying salivating.

@InsaneInTheViralMembrane bet your cat got fleas from hedgehogs. We had one that befriended a hedgehog & became a mobile home for fleas.

I've got to do the magic trick with the worm pill today. As soon as the cat hears the words "Bob Martin" he'll be self-isolating under the sofa with his jaws clamped shut.

Good luck to all cat wranglers today!

I went to the dump yesterday- or is it the Domestic Waste Transfer Station? 😂

I had to book a timed slot on the Council's website, but I wasn't allowed to until I'd clicked about 5 boxes agreeing to this set of T&Cs, that set of rules.

You can only arrive in a pre-registered car, only stay 10 mins (out of a 30min booking), cannot return within a week.

Apparently, only one person is allowed out of the car. They must be wearing a mask and gloves. They are not to approach any of the 'operatives', all of whom will be wearing body cams, and we are reminded that any form of abuse towards the operatives (who are not permitted to go close to your vehicle..) will result in court.

And they wonder why the county is turning into one big fly-tip.

Anyway, needless to say, apart from barriers keeping the REVERSE PARK ONLY cars 4m apart (literally); no one was in a mask, no one was wearing gloves, not a 'body cam' to be seen.

But they still managed to get a 8 car queue!

Bonkers.

@Miljea

I went to the dump yesterday- or is it the Domestic Waste Transfer Station? 😂

I had to book a timed slot on the Council's website, but I wasn't allowed to until I'd clicked about 5 boxes agreeing to this set of T&Cs, that set of rules.

You can only arrive in a pre-registered car, only stay 10 mins (out of a 30min booking), cannot return within a week.

Apparently, only one person is allowed out of the car. They must be wearing a mask and gloves. They are not to approach any of the 'operatives', all of whom will be wearing body cams, and we are reminded that any form of abuse towards the operatives (who are not permitted to go close to your vehicle..) will result in court.

And they wonder why the county is turning into one big fly-tip.

Anyway, needless to say, apart from barriers keeping the REVERSE PARK ONLY cars 4m apart (literally); no one was in a mask, no one was wearing gloves, not a 'body cam' to be seen.

But they still managed to get a 8 car queue!

Bonkers.

Ours is the same. Somebody (justifiably, IMO) complained on our local FB page the other day that cardboard is only being collected monthly. Apparently to do it more often would mean 4 people sitting in a lorry together and that’s contrary to social distancing guidelines. Queue loads of angry ‘FFS, we’re in the middle of a PANDEMIC’ responses from other locals. And plenty of suggestions to ‘just use the tip if you’ve got too much’. Fine... except our local tip has a 6 fucking week wait for an ‘appointment’. It’s batshit.

We've got 3 tips here they've opened one, and then the council post on Facebook complaining that too many people are going.... Well there's a simple solution to that no?!