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ADs deflower male cucumbers for the Greater Good. All phallic aubergines welcome .

983 replies

BogRollBOGOF · 14/08/2020 00:27

Because bitter male cucumbers don't bring joy, but phallic aubergines can raise an irreverent smile.

AD chat continues about life, the universe and everything. We know the answer is 42 but what is the question?
6x7?
How many roads must a man walk down?
How many unsadly reincarnations have PHE put into the database?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
28
justasking111 · 17/08/2020 12:22

@DominaShantotto

My hip is fucked from either sitting on a knackered office chair at a too high desk or on the sofa with a laptop. Compared to uni where desks in the study area are all the right height etc.

Just spent hours chair shopping in the hope of finding something where my arse still has some feeling left in it by the end of a day of shitty recorded lectures

I just walked into office to speak to DS who has spent hours in this chair studying, I also use it for home office. It has the gas thing so you can adjust height, very comfortable is a plus.

www.amazon.co.uk/Executive-Armrests-Leather-Computer-Adjustable/dp/B07TYXQLF4/ref=sr_1_19?dchild=1&rnid=419152031&s=kitchen&keywords=office%2Bchairs&th=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1597663156&refinements=p_n_size_two_browse-vebin%3A3034510031%2Cp_72%3A419153031&sr=1-19

WouldBeGood · 17/08/2020 12:28

@Welcometothelifeboatparty

PS I love the fact you were immature enough to photograph the tomato. And keep the pic long term Grin
Sometimes it’s just as well I live with a 12 year old boy 😂😂 I really don’t feel fifty..
justasking111 · 17/08/2020 12:37

I worked for a charity part of my work was identifying trusts who might give us money. I also had to research them before approaching just in case there was conflict. There are some bloody weird trusts out there.

Healthy scepticism is no bad thing where powerful people pour huge amounts of money in. Even smaller trusts can have some weird agendas. Take the lottery for example they have been nudged.

Willow2017 · 17/08/2020 12:39

Pickachew
Well biblical was the right word by time i got to town!
Was inwardly laughing at people with open coats or no coat at all in absolutely torrential rain but still wearing a mask!! Went back to car in time to see one lady just parked up. Got out with lovely big coat, put on mask and zipped coat/hood up to her nose! If she didn't suffocate before actually reaching a shop I am impressed😄

Had lovely chill time, got few bits I needed and some clothes for ds2 some of his t shirts are getting a bit bobbly and as he wears black jeans for school i got another pair to save panicing about clean dry jeans in this weather! (and because i felt guilty a t shirt for ds1)

I must read up on all this Bill Gates stuff. All sounds pretty creepy.

Oh and I have one flower on a tomato plant yeah 😄

Welcometothelifeboatparty · 17/08/2020 12:40

@WouldBeGood

I know! I'm 58 but live with a 17 year old DD. We were almost helpless with laughter at the shops on Saturday when dd spotted a car sticker on the window by a child's car seat. It said 'help! Mum's farted and we can't get out'

NothingIsWrong · 17/08/2020 12:45

I'm in the office! Getting loads of stuff done! It's amazing being away from the kids. I've had conversations with 4/5 different people today and all of them are saying when do we say enough is enough and just crack on? It's crazy.

Dowser · 17/08/2020 12:51

@DominaShantotto
Oh your brother is a right pain in the butt cheeks. Your poor mum.

Re your back pain. My Anma therapist is a big believer in magnetic therapy. Anyway, when I dug around in the cupboard here’s two barely worn therapy belts with 16 magnets

Not the one shown but look a bit like this.
I wear one at night, dead romantic I know, but it keeps me going in between sessions

My therapist cut his thumb to the bone. Attached sTeri strips and two gold plated neodymium magnets, north side down and it healed completely in a couple of weeks, no stitches, no infection. We use them on tooth aches etc
This isn’t the one I have, but to give you an idea

www.amazon.com/Maxar-BMS-511-Technology-Scoliosis-Herniated/dp/B005IHB3AQ/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=Magnetic+therapy+health+belt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1597664682&sr=8-3

justasking111 · 17/08/2020 13:24

Anyone following the story of the 10 year old killed by his mother wondering if they are covid victims??

Willow2017 · 17/08/2020 13:27

Neil Oliver did a brilliant piece in the Sunday Times.
Excellent summary of what a lot of us feel.
For those not subscribed

Do you ever get the feeling that something, somewhere has gone badly wrong? The kids went back to school last week and I realise now that I was expecting some sort of sense of relief would follow. It wasn’t about wanting them out of the house — far from it — but more the thought that when they took that step towards their own normal, there would be a lessening of the general anxiety. That did not happen, however. Off they trooped to school and yet the feeling of something having gone wrong remained, like a cold, heavy stone in the tripes.

When the virus arrived and we locked down for the good of the nation — to “flatten the curve” and “save the NHS” — there was an undeniable sense of community spirit about it all. The sense of all being in it together was almost — almost — palpable. Clapping on Thursdays. Now, half a year later, the atmosphere is different and the landscape seems altered, and permanently. It is as though the water level has risen, subtly insinuating itself into places where before it was dry.

Everything looks different, feels different, is different. What had been billed as a short-term state of emergency, requiring a burst of the old Blitz spirit, fossilised into something hard, fixed. It’s like an unfinished magic trick: the magician having led the old world by the hand into a cabinet and shut the door. When the door opened, the old world was gone — and he hasn’t brought it back. Now there’s just an absence and unfulfilled expectation.

The shops are open, the restaurants too, but all feel out of kilter. Masks are mandatory and everywhere. Plastic screens, hazard tape, visors on the faces of people behind counters and serving at tills. The official message, still repeated daily, is that all of this is necessary and unavoidable and we do as we are told.

There is no mention of curves any more and we do seem to have saved our NHS, right enough. But the old world, vanished by magic, seems further away than ever. Maybe there will be a vaccine. Lockdowns — local and national — are still floating around out there like so much bad weather over the horizon and possibly coming our way.

We read and hear about all sorts of possibilities. Perhaps the over-50s will have to shield themselves . . . or perhaps the over-40s. Since I’m in both of those camps, the prospect of being sent indoors for some open-ended term of detention is an ever-present thought.

I realised, years ago now, that I am by nature a dissenter. I was a good wee boy at school but in the years since I have found my inner disobedience. I do not like being told. I have begun to wonder about concepts such as social contracts and uncodified constitutions. Maybe we need a review, a serious and honest review, of those ties that bind us to the institutions of the state. Faced with the threat of contagion we, willingly, for the most part, surrendered our liberties.

We weren’t asked. We said farewell to hugs and kisses and holding hands, to gatherings, weddings and festivals and to proper funerals for the dearly loved. We accepted that travel was no longer freely available. We accepted that the cheek-by-jowl, shoulder-to-shoulder closeness of the pub was no more and that the intimate atmosphere of the restaurant was a pleasure of the past.

Our children face altered futures, curtailed horizons. Unknown numbers of people, out of sight and out of mind, are doubtless struggling with the realities of isolation, loneliness and a host of emotional pressures taking invisible tolls. As a society, we have taken all of this on board, riveted on our self-forged shackles, and now here we are, in the new place, the altered reality of our own making.

Now the R-word is out again — not the mysterious “effective reproduction number” related to the virus, but the deepest recession for 100 years. The solution we had no longer feels like a solution. Instead, it is like the sort of bodged repair I affect with gaffer tape and sealant when what I really need is a plumber. The economy and wider society are bleeding to death. The taxes will go up next, as those in charge look for money to pay for more of whatever this is. Is this hollowed-out life worth paying for? Some accounts cannot be settled with cash or credit cards.

Welcometothelifeboatparty · 17/08/2020 13:33

And so say all of us, Neil

skeptile · 17/08/2020 13:35

Lady and 'justasking111 this is a very interesting read, regarding the vast sums Gates donates - and the recipients of his largesse. He actually makes vast amounts of money from his philanthropy, not least because he gives to corporations, in which he has significant investments.

It really is worth a read. www.thenation.com/article/society/bill-gates-foundation-philanthropy/

Blobby10 · 17/08/2020 13:36

@Willow2017 thanks for posting that - it only needs adding something about the total loss of any spontaneity in life to sum up completely what I was snotty sobbing into OH shoulder on Saturday! I've said it several times in RL and been scoffed at and told I'm being ridiculous but I really hope that, in a couple of decades time, this time isn't looked back on and recognised as the most total over-reaction to an illness of all time. Sad.

SodomyNonSapiens · 17/08/2020 13:40

@Blobby10 Mon 17-Aug-20 13:36:43
I've said it several times in RL and been scoffed at and told I'm being ridiculous but I really hope that, in a couple of decades time, this time isn't looked back on and recognised as the most total over-reaction to an illness of all time.

Pretty sure it will be

My guess is within 5 years max.

skeptile · 17/08/2020 13:45

This really is the last one!

This recent article from the Washington Post discusses Gates' desire to 'reimagine education', in the wake of the pandemic.

www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/05/06/cuomo-questions-why-school-buildings-still-exist-says-new-york-will-work-with-bill-gates-reimagine-education/

His vaccines, his surveillance technologies, his online education technologies... his ideological positions are the zeitgeist.

How fortuitous for the richest man on earth.

skeptile · 17/08/2020 13:50

Thank you for posting that, Willow2017.

There's actually been some pretty spectacular journalism come out of 'all this.'

justasking111 · 17/08/2020 13:55

@skeptile

This really is the last one!

This recent article from the Washington Post discusses Gates' desire to 'reimagine education', in the wake of the pandemic.

www.washingtonpost.com/education/2020/05/06/cuomo-questions-why-school-buildings-still-exist-says-new-york-will-work-with-bill-gates-reimagine-education/

His vaccines, his surveillance technologies, his online education technologies... his ideological positions are the zeitgeist.

How fortuitous for the richest man on earth.

If we shut schools and educate children at home online, free thinking and an exchange of ideas will be dead in the water. With the unions being obstructive and teachers complying, anyone think of turkeys voting for xmas.
Welcometothelifeboatparty · 17/08/2020 14:28

really hope that, in a couple of decades time, this time isn't looked back on and recognised as the most total over-reaction to an illness of all time

I really think it will be. I don't think it'll take that long either

Welcometothelifeboatparty · 17/08/2020 14:31

Online learning - online pretty much online anything - is the death of free thinking and free speech. Too many cowardly keyboard warriors who wouldn't say boo to a goose in private feel really, really muscular stuck safely in their back bedrooms.

Welcometothelifeboatparty · 17/08/2020 14:31

too many 'onlines' there, but you get my drift Hmm

WouldBeGood · 17/08/2020 14:55
Twitter predicting a u turn by Williamson too.
shinynewapple2020 · 17/08/2020 14:56

@Ghostlyglow

Just been looking at a thread on AIBU asking how much back to normal life is. The amount of people saying their life is normal or nearly normal again has really thrown me. THIS IS NOT BLOODY NORMAL!!! Sorry Smile

I think I was probably one of those people

Not in anyway dismissing those who are struggling .

It is just that within my life , which is pretty quiet and I no longer have small children, there is not a massive negative impact to me. I am WFH and in my situation this is a positive as my commute adds quite a bit to my working hours , also saving me a lot of money .

Of course I don't like wearing a face mask but I am not big on shopping , prefer to do online. I have tried to be positive in doing what I can and if that means having to book in advance or navigate one way systems then I accept doing this if it means I can have a day out or a meal etc.

I like being outdoors and suspect that I will struggle more as we go into Autumn . I'm a bit pissed off by issues around travel / holidays but given others greater difficulties I wouldn't complain.

There have been some big changes in my life recently but these are not really caused by Covid and/or lockdown .

I am well aware that my life is different to other people's and that many people are struggling hugely but people can only respond as to their individual situation .

LadyOfTheImprovisedBath · 17/08/2020 14:57

Scotland, NI and Wales have gone with teacher assesments now - though not sure what NI is doing with AS/A-levels only heard GCSE - so would look really odd now if Engalnd continue to hold out.

TuckMyWin · 17/08/2020 15:04

Do you think the UK government enjoys being upstaged in this way by the devolved nations? Because they seem to be making a habit of it. Need to start moving a bit quicker!

110APiccadilly · 17/08/2020 15:19

Am glad Wales has moved to teacher assessments. I'm sure there is some grade inflation but it's better than the algorithm, which was clearly unfair to a number of individuals.