Your very own personalised conspiracy theory generator

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

"Lockdown is a government conspiracy to:"

[The month you were born in]

[First letter of the last thing you ate]

"I heard it from: [last thing you saw capable of generating unreliable information]"

1. Control
2. Renew
3. Brainwash
4. Microchip
5. Automate
6. Upgrade
7. Weaponise
8. Reprogram
9. Accept [x] as our new overlord(s)

10.Indoctrinate 11.Monitor and track 12. Replace the batteries in

A.Wasps
B.The population
C.Cats
D. Trees
E. Donald Trump
F. Mumsnetters
G. Nits
H. McDonalds
I. The last actor you fancied
J. Nanas
K. Essex
L. Batman
M. Ducks
N. Eyebrows
O. Dolphins
P. Hipsters
Q. The moon
R. Chuggers
S. Toddlers
T. You
U. Stephen Fry
V. Next door's dog
W. Newts
X. Sparrows
Y. Ghosts
Z. Margate

“control nanas”

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to indoctrinate the population. I heard it from mumsnet.

Sounds about right!

Microchip cats, I heard from my husband.

Control ghosts and I got it from DD (I prefer the automating cats ones )

Microchip Cats.

Lockdown is a government conspiracy theory to reprogramme cats. I heard that from my friend in Amsterdam on WhatsApp.
🤣

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to accept musmnetters as out new overlords. I heard it on mumsnet.

Weaponise Johnny Depp.

I'm all for it tbh.

Reprogram toddlers. I heard it from my dog

Lockdown is a conspiracy to indoctrinate toddlers!! 🤣

Brainwash Ducks. I heard it from Wikipedia.

Lockdown is a conspiracy to Automate Ghosts.

@Lonelycrab

Lockdown is a conspiracy to monitor and control cats. I heard it on YouTube.

Not the only one born in November who’s just had a cheese sandwich I see

I’m ashamed to admit it was actually chocolate

There are Army ads going up everywhere where I live. Huge big posters with blonde/blue eyed youngsters. I'm taking it pretty seriously.

Microchip toddlers. I heard it from my DD.

...automate the population.

I saw it on Facebook.

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to microchip you.

I heard it from my daughter's boyfriend.

I have belatedly realised that brainwash and indoctrinate are quite similar, so if it's not too late, can I replace 10. Indoctrinate with 10. Shrink.

....Renew the population. I heard it from a neighbour that reads QAnon.

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to upgrade toddlers!

I heard it from Mumsnet! 😂🤣

Lockdown is a conspiracy to replace the batteries in Cormoran Strike. I heard it from BBC sport

Indoctrinate cats. My cat told me so herself.

Reprogram Hipsters heard it from the dog.

Control hipsters

My tarot cards told me so (open minded sceptic here)

Upgrading the Moon (saw it onTwitter)
DH - they're reprogramming the population (he read it on the footballl365 website)