Your very own personalised conspiracy theory generator

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

"Lockdown is a government conspiracy to:"

[The month you were born in]

[First letter of the last thing you ate]

"I heard it from: [last thing you saw capable of generating unreliable information]"

1. Control
2. Renew
3. Brainwash
4. Microchip
5. Automate
6. Upgrade
7. Weaponise
8. Reprogram
9. Accept [x] as our new overlord(s)

10.Indoctrinate
11.Monitor and track
12. Replace the batteries in

A.Wasps
B.The population
C.Cats
D. Trees
E. Donald Trump
F. Mumsnetters
G. Nits
H. McDonalds
I. The last actor you fancied
J. Nanas
K. Essex
L. Batman
M. Ducks
N. Eyebrows
O. Dolphins
P. Hipsters
Q. The moon
R. Chuggers
S. Toddlers
T. You
U. Stephen Fry
V. Next door's dog
W. Newts
X. Sparrows
Y. Ghosts
Z. Margate

[OntheWaves40]

@Goyle 😂

Some of these are hilarious

[Oldraver]

Microchip cats

[itsgettingweird]

Oh and I heard it from exam results algorithms

[itsgettingweird]

Reprogram you

🤣

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

Automate nits. I saw it on the BBC news website.

[CormoranStrike]

Monitor and attack toddlers!

[birdling]

Control chuggers. I heard it from my 3 year old.

[purpledagger]

Accept as our new overloads..... hipsters.


Noooo. I detest hipsters.

[TheNemesisOfLame]

Upgrading the Moon (saw it onTwitter)
DH - they're reprogramming the population (he read it on the footballl365 website)

[OldQueen1969]

Control hipsters

My tarot cards told me so (open minded sceptic here)

[paniquer]

Reprogram Hipsters heard it from the dog.

[ALongHardWinter]

Indoctrinate cats. My cat told me so herself.

[diamente]

Lockdown is a conspiracy to replace the batteries in Cormoran Strike. I heard it from BBC sport

[ThatDamnScientist]

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to upgrade toddlers!

I heard it from Mumsnet! 😂🤣

[Wincarnis]

....Renew the population. I heard it from a neighbour that reads QAnon.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

I have belatedly realised that brainwash and indoctrinate are quite similar, so if it's not too late, can I replace 10. Indoctrinate with 10. Shrink.

[yamadori]

Lockdown is a government conspiracy to microchip you.

I heard it from my daughter's boyfriend.

[sixlemons]

...automate the population.

I saw it on Facebook.

[tillytoodles1]

Microchip toddlers. I heard it from my DD.

[Mimishimi]

There are Army ads going up everywhere where I live. Huge big posters with blonde/blue eyed youngsters. I'm taking it pretty seriously.

[tywysoges]

@Lonelycrab

Lockdown is a conspiracy to monitor and control cats. I heard it on YouTube.

Not the only one born in November who’s just had a cheese sandwich I see

I’m ashamed to admit it was actually chocolate

[Kpo58]

Lockdown is a conspiracy to Automate Ghosts.

[OhMsBeliever]

Brainwash Ducks. I heard it from Wikipedia.

[Dazzedandconfused]

Lockdown is a conspiracy to indoctrinate toddlers!! 🤣

[JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam]

Reprogram toddlers. I heard it from my dog