What smug parenting things did you say before you was a parent

[Soubriquet]

Mine

I was going to breastfeed.

Not really smug but I said it in a way before I was old enough to know better that it wasn’t easy...

No dummies

Nope Dd had gone. Ds refused his

Going to use a sling

Did with a bit with dd, more with ds when I discovered better slings

No plastic tat.

Yeah that didn’t last

No screens until they were older.

I discovered I preferred my cup of tea hot

baby led weaning and it was going to be all organic

Mostly baby led. Spoon fed on occasion. Definitely not organic as I remembered I had to eat too

That I would not use Cbeebies as a babysitter like every other mum I came across.

WTAF was I thinking? I sounded like a right knob. I am surprised I wasn't punched in the face for that judgey, ignorant claptrap. I still cringe and it was 12 years ago.

Oh forgot one

My dh was adamant that dc were not going to watch Peppa Pig.

Guess what their favourite TV program was for a while

Who puts their child on reins?! ^They are dogs!
^
As soon as I had my first experience of my toddler refusing to be carried or go in the pram, ordered a pair for next day delivery

They will eat what I eat , I will not pander

I will not give in to demands

They will not change my lifestyle

I started off strong with baby Einstein and an all singing all dancing food processor to make my organic baby food-only to discover numerous food allergies and I was quite happy to let him tuck into anything the poor mite wasn't allergic to! And his favorite show was Dora the bloody explorer!

Aren't dogs**

(Really wish there was an edit function on here)

Cloth nappies

Breast fed

Home birth

No, no and no.

That we'd never watch Peppa pig, thankfully we have stuck to that and now at 4 she's never seen it.
Mostly wooden toys - this didn't pan out, she had a few, but plastic won

“I will never use food to bribe my children”

Cloth nappies! Yes

I wanted them, dh didn’t. He said I could if I really wanted to, but he wouldn’t wash them.

We got disposables

Oh no, I think I've said or thought all of these things! Am I in for a world of disappointment when I eventually become a parent?

That I would always explain to my children why I was asking them to stop doing something, or why we had to do something and I was never, ever, ever going to say ‘because I told you so’. I was going to communicate at their level, and get them to understand why it was important that they sat in their car seat and not undo it, or get into the buggy etc etc. After eleventy billion times of ‘why, why’, why do I have to?’ I did indeed end up saying ‘because I told you so’.

I cringe myself inside out when I remember what an utter knobber I was when DS1 was little. I was every irritating cliche. I almost cried once when a nice lady in a charity shop gave him a red lollipop, and spent about an hour patiently reasoning with him until he agreed to swap it for a bag of nuts and raisins.

They're 16 and 18 in a few weeks, and I grew out of it

@Owleyes16

Oh no, I think I've said or thought all of these things! Am I in for a world of disappointment when I eventually become a parent?

Yes

Embrace the Cbeebies

My friends remember me saying that kids didn't need toys and will be just as happy with a wooden spoon. I got this from an old household management book at my mums house. Written in the 30's

Also I was going to feed them healthy home cooked meals from scratch. Nope. Sensory issues put paid to that.

I fell at the first hurdle.
I would never ever have kids.
Ever.
Ever ever.

And I weaned on screens

‘I blame the parents’ - seeing some kid have a tantrum in the supermarket.
I’ll never bribe my children to behave.
Oooooh, how many times have a I eaten my words since!

Ah!

Me and dh had a bit of a bicker about this one

I wanted to only give dc water.
He wanted to give them a bit of squash as “we were raised on the stuff, you don’t like water (I dont) so why force them to drink it?”

I gave them water...he gave them squash, I gave them water...they cried because they wanted squash

Saying that, at 5 and 7 now, both enjoy drinking both water and squash

'I will never use a screen to keep him quiet, it's just lazy'

Hahahaha, what a nob I was.

(I actually try not to do this too often but sometimes mummy just needs a bit of peace at 6am)

I wasn’t going to have lots of brightly coloured plastic tat. I didn’t think it was bad for children, it just wasn’t to my taste.

I can’t believe how much I thought ‘my taste’ mattered

Ha ha, these are funny. I wasn't under any illusions as I already had nephews, although I definitely broke my no dummies, no baby reins 'rules' pdq. The smuggest thing I heard anyone else say was my SIL's little gem "just because you've had a baby, it's no excuse to let yourself go" - to practically any new mother in earshot!

A good friend the other day asked me and DH out for dinner (we have a 3 yo and 6mo) we said we didn’t have a babysitter. They were genuinely puzzled why we couldn’t just ‘park them up in the pram and let them sleep in the restaurant, that’s what they will do when they have kids’. I can’t wait for them to have kids 😂. I was adamant I’d breastfeed- didn’t work out. Would never put them in character clothes (eg frozen t shirt) always beautifully matching next fancy clothes. DD went to nursery in a peppa pig dress and Disney Princess cardi with Minnie Mouse shoes 😬

I remember seeing a young cousin( around 8yo) having a bit of tantrum and being a brat basically. My children would NEVER behave like that. Now I'm older and wiser I know all kids have off days, especially if they are overwhelmed and tired.

(DD1 never did do that. DD2 has once in lockdown)

No tablet before they are 5

I used to get really annoyed at "skiving" colleagues who left ten minutes before their time to catch the right train to collect their kids from childcare. Just pay for longer childcare, I thought.

Now, though, office work and it's rigid fixed start and end times drive me up the wall and I leave 15 minutes before the end of the day sometimes to make sure I pick the kids up at a decent time. Some things are more important than presenteeism!