What smug parenting things did you say before you was a parent

[Soubriquet]

Mine

I was going to breastfeed.

Not really smug but I said it in a way before I was old enough to know better that it wasn’t easy...

No dummies

Nope Dd had gone. Ds refused his

Going to use a sling

Did with a bit with dd, more with ds when I discovered better slings

No plastic tat.

Yeah that didn’t last

No screens until they were older.

I discovered I preferred my cup of tea hot

baby led weaning and it was going to be all organic

Mostly baby led. Spoon fed on occasion. Definitely not organic as I remembered I had to eat too

No tv.....
Hahahahaha

‘Just because we’re having a baby doesn’t mean we have to stop having a social life.’

They will eat what I eat.

Hahaha no.

No plastic toys and certainly nothing that lights up and plays music - it is just lazy parenting. Toys only in the bedroom, nothing downstairs.
Ha! Think I lasted only a few months before I gave in and purchased a jumperoo that lives in the kitchen. I quickly decided that I like to drink me tea while it is still hot and a jumperoo can give me 30 minutes hands free time.

No dummies
2 weeks before I caved. Thankfully she only took it for 2 months before completely rejecting it but unfortunately it also means she now refuses a bottle as well.

No screen time
I can't tell you the amount of times I have stuck my baby in front of the iPad to watch a sodding dancing pineapple to either stop her crying or buy me some quiet time.

No cosleeping
She has slept in with me pretty much every night for the last 5 weeks.

Now my mantra is 'do whatever you need to do to get through the day and night'

I had a friend who always listened to her two boys, even when they were chattering nonsense. I thought she was an inspiration and vowed I would be exactly the same.

Turns out she had just perfected the art of the distant look and vague question

I also vowed no character toys as I refused to buy into it. DS became obsessed with Cars and and one point it struck me that there was actually no facet of our lives untouched by that smug red little fucker

I was virulently anti-dummy.

After weeks of evening colic with #1 , the health visitor suggested I tried one. I called my husband who picked one up on the way home from work, ran it under boiling water, and as soon as it was cool, we popped it in. The screaming, squirming baby instantly relaxed, gave a huge sigh, and sucked like this was what she'd been waiting for all her short life. And was asleep in 30 seconds.

I still only gave her a dummy when she needed it, and popped it straight out when she didn't (I still hate seeing perfectly contented toddlers running around with dummies in their mouths), but the dummy was her comfort, and she'd be in her cot with one in her mouth and one in each hand at bedtime when she was a bit older. Just in case.

@Champagneforeveryone omg I’m like your friend! I always have people compliment me on how present I am all the time with my children, how I listen to them all the time. My ten Ds says how he always appreciated me doing it. I zone out for most of it to be honest

OMG I love this thread.

Yes to so many of those already mentioned.

Karma's a bitch 😂🤣

I’m not going to have fussy children. I just won’t put up with it.

My kids ate anything till about age 3 and I was very smug. Readers, I got my comeuppance. I am suitably chastened.

Hahhah so many.

No dummy
Breastfeeding minimum 6 months
I'll be an Earth Mother
No screens

Now my mantra is 'do whatever you need to do to get through the day and night'

^

You and me both

No guns, no plastic tat.

Readers, behold the mighty collection of Nerf which is so huge the Smithsonian are wondering if I can sort out an exhibition and tour.

"I won't be ruled by their naps, if they're tired they'll just sleep

"they'll never see me on my phone"

Sometimes I just need something else to look at to feel sane.

Also

no cosleeping

Although I didn't realise the pros at the time.

Had a friend who was a nanny when mine were young who would often, and loudly, criticise things with my kids. Bad behaviour (now known to be on spectrum), not sleeping as a baby (medical condition) and many other things- all blamed on my parenting, definitely not an actual issue for baby etc...

It makes me smile every time I see one of her posts despairing about her now school age child that still won't sleep and how horrible it is for her as a parent... Her words that made me feel useless echo in my ears.

I'd never actually say it to her though, because I know how horrible it is to hear that sort of blaming, condescending comment. I often wonder if she's aware of the irony of what she said to me though.

Many. Some I kept to, because they were important to me. Some were just me being ridiculous 🤣

Natural term breastfeeding. Nope, weaned him myself so I could have my body back and SLEEP.

No screens. HAHAHAHA. My eyes don't function enough at 5am to do anything other than drink tea while it's still hot and put toddler in front of Thomas the tank engine.

I would never have a fussy eater. Toddler didn't get that memo. Refuses most fruit or salad. Mostly only eats veg hidden in stuff. I am now an expert at hiding veg. I would never feed my child anything not home cooked and nutritious. Nuggets for tea tonight...

No plastic tat - we do have some lovely quality wooden toys but both child love the plastic. I admit that sometimes I just give it to the DC to wind up the ILs

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett

No guns, no plastic tat.

Readers, behold the mighty collection of Nerf which is so huge the Smithsonian are wondering if I can sort out an exhibition and tour.

I also said no guns. I may now need a wing in your nerf museum (thanks BIL)

They will fit in with me, we'll they had other ideas, admittedly they are pretty good and fit in in terms of eating, going to galleries etc but in terms of sleeping - no! They are devilishly mischievous at bedtime.

I wasn't going to have a fussy eater.
Hollow laugh.

I started in the delivery room -birthplan was “breathing, and gas and air if I need it”
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I won't let them have squash until they are older...... we gave DS squash once when he was sick and he wouldn't go back to water.

Breastfeed for a few weeks

No screen time (they watch Cbeebies) and older one does play on a tablet but we haven't bought their own

No fruit shoots for older DC

Won't do gender toys (quite unavoidable in reality)

Not to loose my shit with them

*lose

No Disney!

We've been to Disney World three times and been in a Disney Cruise. Dd got the entire toy cast of Toy Story for Christmas.

Mixed feeling from the start so I can leave them with babysitters.

Both bottle refusers - breast fed till over a year old them weaned onto cows milk.

My child will never behave like that!

Additional needs mean more public melt downs and public judgment than I can count.

I remember my sister laughing and being slightly snarky with her DP about how I always suggested a certain chain restaurant, not a cheap nasty one at all, when they wanted to go for lunch - the once or twice a year we saw each other. Reasons - family friendly, high chairs, sensory issues and food intolerances in both kids but they would eat quite a lot of the food from there. I have never brought it up but I noticed after they had children they started to regularly frequent a similar chain when out to eat.

"Our children won't be like that, we won't let them behave like that" when I saw children tantrumming loudly in public.

Also DH's best one was "I will not let my child scream like that". I mean there's no letting about it, sadly!

Nothing, I was the eldest out of four siblings and was under no illusions what babies and children were actually like.