How on earth do you have sex when you have teenagers!

[Pitterpatterpotter]

It’s getting increasingly difficult! They go to bed late, dh gets up early for work and they often like watching films with us and spending time with us in the evenings which is lovely..... but we don’t often get time alone. Even when we are downstairs alone we could easily be disturbed and the floors don’t feel thick enough to have sex upstairs while they are awake without me being paranoid we’d be heard!
In 20 years together we’ve never had so little time for sex apart from when dc were tiny. Help! Any suggestions?!

[Mrsemcgregor]

@dottiedodah well they certainly managed it somehow My Nan does talk about endless days playing on bomb-sites, so I guess that’s what the kids were up to while mum and dad were making more!!!

Any bomb-sites near you OP?!

[ladymuck111]

OP I understand totally. I'm a light sleeper and DP snores. I rarely stay in the same bed. DC go to bed at stupid o clock. On the rare occasions we do do it it's usually 2am. I'm pretty sure the DC have heard us, even when we've been quiet or resorted to the floor
Before lockdown we would get the odd evening when the DC had slept out or free time when they were at school. Now - nothing and it's driving me insane. DP doesn't seem fussed but his libido is much lower than mine.

[victoriasponge678]

Sex with a teenager and a 5 year old in the house is impossible.

I get the 5 yr old to bed early and teen thinks that means we are having a grown up night with them watching a grownup film

5 year old still gets into our bed about 3am every morning

Lockdown has been horrendous for our sex life !!!!!!!

[LookMoreCloselier]

Those saying it doesn't matter if they know, or hear... Did you ever hear your parents? It is quite horrifying haha.

[QuentinWinters]

Quietly but I also DGAF if the kids hear me. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be dealing with their sex-related behaviour soon enough and also why should I be ashamed about loving DP?

[TinkersTailor]

@fleurdeliz
I'm not doubting for a second that that didn't happen
But it didn't scar me for life and it wasn't where my mind went to.

Agree with PP who said they'll get over the agony of a closed door!

[JonHammIsMyJamm]

When I want to.

She plays music loudly often. She’s out often. There are loads of opportunities.

[JonHammIsMyJamm]

We are considerate, noise-wise though. She has commented on the grossness of the thought of her parents ‘doing it’, in the past but we’ve always talked openly about sex and it’s part in relationships. She’d rather we were together and doing the dreaded ‘IT’ with each other, than apart and doing it with others. Kids, eh?

[JonHammIsMyJamm]

Gah, “its part’. Frigging autocorrect

[elliejjtiny]

It's a nightmare. We have teens and little ones so never get the chance at the moment. We used to do it mostly when they were at school (dh works from home) but now it's mostly at 2am

[caringcarer]

Before Covid our teen went to Scouts for 2 1/4 hours every week and some weekend camps too. Find a hobby for them that takes 2 hours. He does 2 hour cricket training in winter too but we watch him at that sometimes.

[tocancel]

@00100001

I think that is really gross and disturbing to have sex in front of your children.

Sex doesn’t have to be hidden but to have sex in front of your children is disrespectful at best, abusive at worst. And creepy.

[00100001]

.... Well it was the norm... Sorry to burst your bubble

How else do you think families of 13 kids happened when they had a one bedroom place??
And when people would sleep in great halls en masse, do you really think the kids weren't present and/or people weren't having sex?

I'm not saying I have sex in front of my kids, but it did happen... 🤷‍♀️

[tocancel]

@00100001 I'm not saying it didn't happen, just saying it's gross and unfair on children. And hardly enjoyable for parents!

[witchofthenorth]

Just go to bed, close the door (lock preferable although we don't have one) and have sex. Our bedroom is next to the living room and my teenagers are normally up until the early hours watching nonsense on the telly. And very thin walls. Teen bedrooms are upstairs but you can still have sex. If the headboard is an issue, use the age old pillow between the headboard and the wall trick

[00100001]

I guess because attitudes have changed towards children's visibility of sex. I'm guessing nobody batted an eyelid and just saw it as part of life, like washing?

[Yerroblemom1923]

Book a night away once a month in a nice hotel. When are sleepovers allowed back?? Does anyone know?

[MitziK]

@Herja

On the bedroom floor rather than the bed? Only noise is you then, so just be quiet...

I'm so over carpet burns.

I did start having baths in the dark at 4.30am, though.

[quarentini]

Mine are adults now but we always had a private time routine.

Wednesday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoon,we would go to bed early or read or whatever in our room.
We took wine and takeaway with us on a Saturday night.
The kids could disturb us in a emergency but other than that they left us alone, mostly playing on video games or listening to music or watching films.

[scentedgeranium]

This thread has made me chuckle. The teenage years were a definite dip in our sexual activity! We longed for our teens to go to more late parties etc than they did.
It passes, though Lockdown was a mean blow, returning our 22 year old daughter back to the nest.
Love her dearly. Really I do. But thank goodness she's found a job which keeps her busy Saturday and Sunday afternoons 😁

[Hellokitty82]

I'm Amazed that during a pandemic people are this concerned about having sex!!!!
There are people dying, people loosing family members and friends, a second wave very likely and people on here seem to have their main priority as having sex!

[Pitterpatterpotter]

I never said it was my main priority!! I have sadly been to 3 funerals since March and it’s been horrendous. As a teacher and a mum the future seems uncertain with regards to education. These are my priorities but that doesn’t mean I’m not also allowed to want to have sex! @Hellokitty82

[MitziK]

@Hellokitty82

I'm Amazed that during a pandemic people are this concerned about having sex!!!!
There are people dying, people loosing family members and friends, a second wave very likely and people on here seem to have their main priority as having sex!

All the more reason to be seeking out human connection and pleasure.

After all, we aren't getting the same day to day interactions with people (and those we do are stymied by masks) or physical contact. So it makes absolute sense that having sex/making love as part of reaffirming bonds, especially if you've been spending so much time together that certain habits could become grating (like watching fucking Nightrider and The A Team whilst I'm trying to work) and the alternative is planning the exact style of paving on your patio.

[Floralnomad]

I must have missed the covid 19 update where sex was banned , when was that .

[LongAndWhiningRoad]

People are always dying and losing loved ones. If we all stopped having sex because of that, the human race wouldn't last long!