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Original poster

How on earth do you have sex when you have teenagers!

114 replies

Pitterpatterpotter · 04/08/2020 23:24

It’s getting increasingly difficult! They go to bed late, dh gets up early for work and they often like watching films with us and spending time with us in the evenings which is lovely..... but we don’t often get time alone. Even when we are downstairs alone we could easily be disturbed and the floors don’t feel thick enough to have sex upstairs while they are awake without me being paranoid we’d be heard!
In 20 years together we’ve never had so little time for sex apart from when dc were tiny. Help! Any suggestions?!

OP posts:
FuckYouCorona · 05/08/2020 00:46

I've forgotten what sex is lol.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 05/08/2020 00:46

We lock the door. I’m sure they think ‘ewwww’. But they just have to deal.

AldiAisleofCrap · 05/08/2020 00:58

I really don’t understand this thread , we just go to bed as normal , shut the door have sex. How loud are you all?

Mothership4two · 05/08/2020 01:15

We lock the door. I’m sure they think ‘ewwww’. But they just have to deal

I really don’t understand this thread , we just go to bed as normal , shut the door have sex. How loud are you all?

^^ this

maggiecate · 05/08/2020 01:21

“Right, we’re having an early night - put your headphones on so the TV doesn’t keep us awake”

LunaNorth · 05/08/2020 01:22

Keep it down a bit, find a position that doesn’t make the headboard wallop the wall, and just get on with it.

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 05/08/2020 01:25

Just lock the door. They do know about sex and that you're a couple. They need to respect that and stay away. Don't shove it in their faces, but it's nothing to feel so cloak and dagger about.

This reminds me of threads where people say they haven't been to the toilet alone in 5 years. Just shut the door and do it. They will, I promise you, get over the agony of a closed door.

katy1213 · 05/08/2020 01:33

Would it be so very shocking if they realised their parents had sex?

safariboot · 05/08/2020 01:42

When I was a teen DM would just send me out of the house when her boyfriend was coming round Grin.

pallisers · 05/08/2020 01:51

In the morning mostly and mostly at weekends. And quietly.

We had 5 weeks of an empty nest before covid. sex was so much freeer then in some ways (mostly noise) but we still manage it just fine.

No, it wouldn't be shocking if my children realised we had sex. In fact, I presume my children know we have sex. But I certainly don't want them to hear me - wouldn't inflict that on anyone still less our children - yuck!

earlydoors42 · 05/08/2020 07:14

We have to take days off during the week - No use since March! Or near Christmas and birthdays say "Don't come up, we are wrapping presents". And weekend mornings. It's not much!

Frenchfancy · 05/08/2020 07:25

People who say just shut the door have obviously far better soundproofing than we do! We are very quiet but still restrict it to 3am or when the DCs are all out.

ScrapThatThen · 05/08/2020 07:29

The adult daughter of a family on Gogglebox told her parents 'you know when you turn the music up loud I can still hear you as well right?'

Itstheprinciple · 05/08/2020 07:30

DD loves a lie in so weekend mornings for us usually, or when she's at a club (in normal times).

MrsJBaptiste · 05/08/2020 07:34

It's so difficult... the kids are up until 1am, DH works shifts so isn't even in the house at night for 3 nights a week and although we have a great relationship with the kids, this means we head off up to bed and they suddenly appear half an hour later for a chat!

And how many people actually have a lock on their bedroom door? I honestly don't know anyone!

On a more serious side, this was one of the issues raised by DH during counselling when we had marriage problems earlier this year. I thought it was just 'one of those things' but the whole intimacy side of things was a real problem to him. We've worked hard on it (and the other issues) but it hasn't been easy when you cant spontaneously go off to have sex!

Herja · 05/08/2020 07:35

On the bedroom floor rather than the bed? Only noise is you then, so just be quiet...

DrDreReturns · 05/08/2020 07:37

We either do it after breakfast when the kids are asleep or we go to bed in the afternoon when they are gaming.

Bagelsandbrie · 05/08/2020 07:38

We just don’t. We wait for dd (17) to stay at a friends or go out for the evening. Our house is too small and any creak travels!

megletthesecond · 05/08/2020 07:41

I'm a LP so no sex anyway. But I get far less sleep than when my dc's were little. The endless arguing and faffing around until gone 11pm will be the death of me.

AudTheDeepMinded · 05/08/2020 07:42

No need for a lock, a rubber wedge for an inward opening door works well. We have three (children) and whilst they don't necessarily get the idea of recreational sex (why would they, they understand how babies are made but not that it's a great pastime too!) they do know sometimes we are having cuddles.
We tend to take advantage of weekend afternoons when they are glued to a film, or weekend mornings. It is tricky though and I can't see getting easier. Before lockdown we were often at home together so it wasn't an issue. Really hoping the schools go back in September for so many reasons!

Giningit · 05/08/2020 07:42

Just wanted to say that I feel your pain. We’re in the same situation with night owls making it difficult. We are lucky that we manage to have child free weekends Wink

AuntieMarys · 05/08/2020 07:44

How loud are you all?
Adult dd laughed when she was leaving after a long visit, saying you and dh can have sex now. I said what do you mean, now? Never stopped!!!

missyB1 · 05/08/2020 07:46

We just get on with it. We don’t have a headboard but I have noticed the bed is getting a bit squeaky Blush
On Sunday afternoons everyone knows that mum and dad go up for an afternoon “snooze”.

Giningit · 05/08/2020 07:47

@TheMotherofAllDilemmas

... but believe me, as long as they have their earphones on while competing with friends on the Xbox, you are safe for as long as they are laughing their heads off.
Yes then you’re DTD with your kids voices in the background. Guaranteed to ruin the mood.
Zebrahooves · 05/08/2020 07:51

I feel your pain too. I know they know that we have sex and we aren't particularly noisy, but my youngest who is a way away hears the slightest noise. We haven't been alone in ages.