How on earth do you have sex when you have teenagers!

[Pitterpatterpotter]

It’s getting increasingly difficult! They go to bed late, dh gets up early for work and they often like watching films with us and spending time with us in the evenings which is lovely..... but we don’t often get time alone. Even when we are downstairs alone we could easily be disturbed and the floors don’t feel thick enough to have sex upstairs while they are awake without me being paranoid we’d be heard!
In 20 years together we’ve never had so little time for sex apart from when dc were tiny. Help! Any suggestions?!

[BigusBumus]

I can't feel at all sexy if I can hear any of my kids voices. Instant turn off. We do have a bathroom bolt style lock on our bedroom door and our teens are trained to knock before entering ANY closed door. But still..

We have a cosy log cabin in the garden. It's got a wood burner and a tv and comfy sofa bed. We often go in there "to watch a film" some nights. Thought we'd got away with that until I heard the boys laughing that mum and dad are off to the Shag Shed.

[Mrsemcgregor]

We are getting to that point too!

My great nan and grandad had 12 kids in 16 years in a 2 bed terrace..... how?!?

[fleurdeliz]

[quote TinkersTailor]@ballsdeep Why? Does no one else relax in their room of an evening with the lock on and the TV?

My dad did, my mum did (both single!)[/quote]
Hmmm.

And you never wondered why the door needed locking?

Doesn't always take two to tango @TinkersTailor

Sorry

[Oldraver]

Wait till he goes out, or send him to the shops

[Hellokitty82]

Mine and 4 and 1 and still have the 1yr old in our room because it's just easier with breastfeeding 🤱
The thought of sex turns my stomach so to be honest roll on the teenage years when I can have a good excuse I can't wait!!!

[IKEA888]

yup... no early nights mainly because of the thought the teenagers may guess which puts us off.

[yearinyearout]

With great difficulty. Once they reached old enough to be left overnight, we had lots of nights away! Then when they left home, DH lost his libido, so all my dreams of having sex with wild abandon in an empty house went to pot.

[Hellokitty82]

@yearinyearout

Wish mine would loose his!
2 kids and a full time job I'm done in!!! When I go upstairs all I want is a bath and to sleep!

dH on the other hand seems full of energy and infact I've had to tell him several times to leave me Alone

He used to work away a lot Pre-covid not now tho so didn't realise how annoying it really was!

[Coniferhedge]

Our DS is 16 and autistic so very rarely goes out. I suppose we’re lucky in that DH’s work is quite close to home, about 10 minutes away by car, so occasionally he’s come home during his lunch hour for a quickie while DS is at school. Alternatively we do it first thing in the morning when DS is engrossed in his video games.

[MysteriesOfTheOrganism]

You ask them not to disturb you, go to the bedroom and have sex. What's the problem? If they hear noises they don't want to hear they'll put headphones on or turn the tv up. It will actually do them good to know you have a sex life!

[TheMotherofAllDilemmas]

Air cadets... 2.5 hours of uninterrupted bliss two evenings a week plus plenty of weekends they took DS away with them.

Forget about the sex, my social life came back as soon as he joined.

[KingOfDogShite]

Honestly? We don’t

[minnieok]

Send them to a club together

[minnieok]

Or there's always sending them to buy ice cream/chips etc

[tiredanddangerous]

It's been impossible during lock down. DH will still be working from home when they go back to school though, so we should be able to catch up then

[Goyle]

We live in a tiny flat with a shared wall so yes it's tricky.

Thinking a buying a tent and taking a sudden interest in wild camping....

[Pitterpatterpotter]

@earlydoors42 we’ve done lots of ‘present wrapping’ over the years My third dc was conceived while we were ‘wrapping presents’

[Pitterpatterpotter]

We’ve got quite a big house but walls are paper thin and the bedrooms are all close together upstairs.
I honestly can’t relax if I can hear my dc! They also move around the house so I can hear them walk past the bedroom door! We don’t have a lock but I’m considering getting one, not just for sex but also because I would quite like more privacy generally as I often get followed around by my younger dc and one has adhd and literally wants to talk to me constantly bless him.

[U2HasTheEdge]

It is bloody difficult.

I have five children, so there is rarely a good time. It's all well and good saying be quiet, but if you have crap sound proofing and paper thin walls and a squeaky bed you can still be overheard, even if you don't make a sound verbally.

[dottiedodah]

How old are they? Could they be left alone for the odd night ,do you think? Maybe go to a local hotel .Do they have DGPs they could go to?Otherwise go to bed early and wake up early for some dawn adventures!

[00100001]

@Mrsemcgregor

We are getting to that point too!

My great nan and grandad had 12 kids in 16 years in a 2 bed terrace..... how?!?

They would have just had sex when the kids were in the room. Was normal for kids to see/know about parents having sex way back when. Or the kids were out more!
It's a relatively modern idea that sex should be hidden from children.

[Pitterpatterpotter]

Another issue is that dh and I often sleep separately as he snores and twitches a lot and I am a light sleeper with a stressful job so need undisturbed sleep.

[Pitterpatterpotter]

I have a dc who is a lot younger than the teenagers @dottiedodah which adds an extra complication!

[Pitterpatterpotter]

We managed last night at 1am tmi

[dottiedodah]

MrsMcGregor I think as PP has said .DC were often out playing all day ! So time for sexy stuff maybe Sunday afternoons.Also children then would probably be playing together, and the older ones would look after the little uns! Sex was not really spoken about .So DC would probably just think they were having a rest ,and not think about what any moaning or sighing might mean!