MIL never talks about proper things- just gossip and rubbish. Is this a thing?!

[Napqueen1234]

I’ve never met anyone like my MIL for chatting rubbish. I’ve met gossipers, people who talk about themselves constantly. But she almost talks about nothing. Case in point- today met for a walk in the park. My DH has just taken on a few new big jobs, DC1 about to start preschool and finishing nursery, DC2 6 months and changing every day. This week we had to isolate due to covid risk and go to A&E (she vaguely knew about these things). She asked nothing about any of them- instead talked for 40 minutes about a random friends caravan (no idea who they are) and her partners daughter. She loves seeing the DC but never texts to ask about them etc (I end up sending updates and pics as I feel we ought to keep her in the loop). It’s not like she’s selfish as she doesn’t talk about her, for reference she doesn’t do much has had the same job 30 years, doesn’t really socialise or have hobbies.

Would you do or say something? Sometimes I feel like interrupting her stories with ‘who the hell are these people I have absolutely no interest in can we talk about something else?!’. If I try to start conversations she just doesn’t engage and changes the subject back to something incredibly boring and unimportant. Does anyone else know anyone that does this?!

Yes! Your post made me laugh.

My MIL was like this. I couldn't stand it

My mil was the same. I knew way way to much info about her neighbours and people from the social club. Never met any of them....
Her favourite topic was her bowel habits.
I learned to zone out. You need to practice that op.

My mum had a tendency to be like this, OP. I think you're wasting your time if you think she can change. I would advise you to lower your expectations and maybe take a book or newspaper with you when you visit her so that you have something to read when she starts her monologue.

My mil is exactly the same, talks about people I have no idea about and she talks about the same.thing all.the.time!!!

She asks me if she mentioned the story of when x and y did z and I will say "yes I've heard it before" and then she will say "oh" and continue telling me the same story 😭

@Newbiehere123 oh my god mine does that. And then when she’s hysterically laughing and I’m stone faced as I’ve heard is 1000 times before she just thinks I’m mad.

My mum is a lot like this!

🤣 yes my mil does this but more worringly my mums started doing it now!

My mother does this - she doesn't have a clue about our jobs but tells me everything about her friends nieces mothers best friend boyfriend or other exciting combination

My MIL has about five stories that get trotted out on rotation, the worst one is when they thought they might get turbulence on their flight but turns out they didn't. This one is used when anyone mentions the word "holiday."

My mums like this and she never used to be. It's like she hit 70 and life outside her boring little village has stopped. Her world is her dp, his sister, the dog, him in the flat upstairs and various relatives and friends of her dp. She talks about herself a lot though and about the many boring people who live in her village that I really don't give a crap about and I dont even know!

She was never like this. She was intelligent mostly, you could have a good convo with her but now it's all me me.

I'm quite gutted about it.

Lol 😂 I have no advice for you unfortunately. I just can't be with her for more than a few hours before I start questioning my life choices (particularly marriage choice). Is your mil uncomfortable with silence? For instance on a day out, mil will sometimes join us and on the way back home when we are all knackered and can't be bothered to speak she will just sit there in the car just talking to herself. We will drive past bushes or trees she will point out how beautiful they are and asks us stupid random questions and tell us to look here and there, it's like do you want me to drive safely or crash into the fucking tree. Stop distracting me for goodness sake 😭

Yes! My MIL does this all the time - talks about her new neighbours son (who isn’t married ) and Gloria down the road. Honestly couldn’t give a shit. Try my best to zone out. We don’t have a great relationship so she never asks about me, but the fact she doesn’t ask about DS really annoys me! Acts like the worlds best grandmother but doesn’t talk, play or engage with him at all. Just continues to bang on about bloody Gloria

This is my MIL completely. Mid telling her something life changing for us we’ll have a 20 minute tangent on the gardeners cousins daughters cleaner who one tiny point related to. I can’t bear it but have got v good at zoning out!

My MIL has a set number of stories too and they mostly happened before she got married so over 50 years ago, or if she does talk about more recent things it always relates to friends, some of which DH knows from childhood or as an adult, but the way she describes them as MY friend Mildred is really odd and possessive.
She rarely asks our D.C. what they have been doing or shows interest and I am not sure she has a clue what I do for a job as she has no interest.

This is all sounding very familiar.

My mum is very much like this. MiL is heading that way too! Her stories are weather / time of year dependant On repeat. Same narrative constantly.

Yep. Mine does the same. No point in saying anything about the children as I’m immediately talked over and told a story about my siblings children. I’m used to it now but it dies annoy me.

My mum does this. Particularly at the moment. She spends aaaaages telling me the details of some random thing she watched on TV. I think it’s something that people do if they’re a bit bored/lonely, they just lose social skills and get a bit of verbal diarrhoea. I’d stick with smile and nod, I doubt anything you do will cause change, just offence!

I think you’re talking about my mum. The other day she talked for 20 minutes about her former colleague’s mother who was in a nursing home. I have never met the colleague, I have no idea who anybody in this story is. Lots of discussions about her yoga teacher’s child and husband. I now play games on my phone and make occasional ‘ah right’ noises! You have my sympathy.

My dad conscientiously keeps me informed about the lives of neighbours (and their families) from when I was growing up. I haven't lived near these bloody people for 35+ years, and my parents have moved house twice. There was a neighbour whose surname was Bucknell whom they always refer to as Barry (after the DIY man on telly from before I was even born) and expect me to laugh every time at this witticism which I have heard approximately one thousand times

Can you tell this annoys me?

My mum was exactly the same. She used to read out road signs or point out mundane things rather than sit in silence in the car. Ooh McDonald's. B&Q. There's some sheep. Car boot sale. 🤦🏻‍♀️

DayswithaY that made me laugh

My Mum beers between nonsense anecdotes and just sitting in silence or giving one word answers. She never talks about actual issues or has any opinions. I’ve given up trying tbh.

My DM did this to Olympic gold standards. It would be some labyrinthine tale involving Mrs Bloggs sister’s cat’s vet’s butcher’s step-daughter’s budgerigar’s rash. All her chums appeared to be called Maureen and every other word was ‘watchcallit’. Bless her! But I do miss her - just not the endless chatter.

This actually makes me feel a bit better about MIL as I really couldn't stand this about her - the constant stories about people I don't know and don't really care about. Add in the fact that she is a tremendous snob so it's always about how much money someone makes or how big a house someone has bought. Careers are only mentioned if they are 'worthy' mainly doctor lawyer or solicitor. I used to just nod along but having got more belligerent I often call her out now - for example "some boring person you've never met has married a hugely rich man who has an enormous house" "that's awful MIL imagine only marrying someone for what they are worth, what a shallow and grubby human being they must be" tends to result in a quick change of subject or silence.

I also haven't been free for coffee alone with her since about 1999 even though I only work part time

Not my mother in law but my sister in law does this, she rings every so often and is on the phone for ages telling me boring shit about people that I don't even know, she tells me about her hairdresser, doctor, the old lady next door, she constantly tells me what her grandchildren say and do and she's been like this for years, she's the noseyest person I've ever met and asks people the most intimate questions and is adamant that she has a right to know, her life revolves around bingo and visiting random people in hospital ffs.