Your most ridiculous mum shaming moment/advice

[anotherpostanothernamechange]

I'm a mum of 2 (dd3 and ds 6 months) so it's safe to say in the past 4 years I've had some bat shit crazy advice & judgements both from well meaning people and absolute nutters.

At the weekend DSil, who is early twenties with no kids decided to take the absolute biscuit. She tried to start a 'discussion' (she's one of them who thinks she knows everything and will not be told otherwise) about my baby wearing nappies.
Not trying to shame me for using disposables or for using reusable but for just using nappies in general.
WTF.
Telling me how uncomfortable it must be for the baby and that obviously thousands of years ago people got by without them. No wonder he has nappy rash (well yeah, that sometimes happens but you know, better than being covered in his own piss and poop)

At the time I was busy and only half paying attention but it's just popped back in to my head and I can't stop laughing. So go on, cheer me up with your most ridiculous pieces of judgement and advice

@Drinkingallthewine

My mother's sister-in-law's sister: "the reason you keep miscarrying is because you need to do novenas" Well, that's the last time I fucking tell DM anything then.

Being told to get cracking on a sibling for DS - often when I was having one of said miscarriages.

MIL asked me, out of nowhere during a pleasant dinner, whether I thought the reason I kept miscarrying was cat litter. I think this was a misunderstanding of something she'd heard about toxoplasmosis but at the time I didn't have a clue wtf she was on about

@Hardbackwriter I think it's something to do with that - my DGM had a condition which meant she could never carry a pregnancy to full term (or it was very difficult to) and tragically lost 2 of her 4 babies (all were premature) and she said the condition she had was from being around animals (she grew up on a farm with cows, hens, sheep, horses, cats, dogs, pigs and all sorts) - she was an animal lover and even had a pet rooster that would sit on her shoulder so plenty of contact with them.

I'm not sure what the condition was as she can't speak English and doesn't like talking about it so I never questioned her about it too much. But she would regularly tell me off for petting my dog or attempting to get near an animal when I was pregnant because she thought I would get the same.

My mother's sister-in-law's sister: "the reason you keep miscarrying is because you need to do novenas"
Well, that's the last time I fucking tell DM anything then

OMG we were told at school to do a novena to pass our exams, I decided to revise instead - I passed.

@Hardbackwriter sorry I didn't meant to say it has anything to do with your miscarriages! I just mean I think it's a misunderstanding from your MILs side as my DGM was of a similar stance but with ALL animals.

I had terrible water retention and swelling in my feet and calves during the last trimester of pregnancy. I had regular check ups but everything was fine, I was just one of those unfortunate women who suffered with it.

A colleague with zero medical knowledge whatsoever saw my swollen feet and shrieked at me that my swelling was so bad they would have to induce me early otherwise my baby would die!

Um, thanks for that!

@OneMoreForExtra
@DazedWifelet
@CloudPop

Thank you for your kindness.
The worst thing I ever had said to me though was by my 'D'dad. When I lost my son I wasn't allowed to mourn him and was told to 'just get over it'. It took 15 years and going NC with him and some other members of family before I could even begin to process it.

I'm horrified to see some of the dreadful comments here that are still being made to mums and mums to be - have we learned nothing in this enlightened world!

[quote SixtiesChildOfWildBlueSkies]@OneMoreForExtra
@DazedWifelet
@CloudPop

Thank you for your kindness.
The worst thing I ever had said to me though was by my 'D'dad. When I lost my son I wasn't allowed to mourn him and was told to 'just get over it'. It took 15 years and going NC with him and some other members of family before I could even begin to process it.

I'm horrified to see some of the dreadful comments here that are still being made to mums and mums to be - have we learned nothing in this enlightened world![/quote]
No - it would appear we haven't learned anything. Beyond sad.

Due an elective section for medical reasons, MIL (she is batshit crazy at the best of times) suggested I could just ‘prentend’ I had a different medical history and have a vaginal delivery as babies who don’t get coated in the vaginal juices just aren’t as natural as the ones who are 🤨

My childless SIL has come out with some classics in her time but the one I particularly like was the fact that I was doing irreparable damage to my children by not having a TV downstairs.

[quote overweightcat]@Hardbackwriter I think it's something to do with that - my DGM had a condition which meant she could never carry a pregnancy to full term (or it was very difficult to) and tragically lost 2 of her 4 babies (all were premature) and she said the condition she had was from being around animals (she grew up on a farm with cows, hens, sheep, horses, cats, dogs, pigs and all sorts) - she was an animal lover and even had a pet rooster that would sit on her shoulder so plenty of contact with them.

I'm not sure what the condition was as she can't speak English and doesn't like talking about it so I never questioned her about it too much. But she would regularly tell me off for petting my dog or attempting to get near an animal when I was pregnant because she thought I would get the same. [/quote]
Possibly Brucellosis.

On a 'family' holiday, my DB (then expecting his first child with SIL),suggested I could keep the noise of my own 2yr old and 6 month old down before 9am because the rest of the family were still sleeping off the night before. Every day.

He suggested I try a calm activity, like colouring. Uh huh. Sure.

It was the last 'family' holiday we ever went on with my side. Awful!