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Original poster

One boy/ One girl obsession- true?

153 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2020 17:24

Disclaimer: ultimately we all want healthy children and love them no matter their sex

But
Currently pregnant with DD2 and the check out lady at Sainsbury’s today was chatting to me, asked me what I was having, whether I have a boy or girl already etc. when I said I was having another girl she tilted her head to the side, pursed her lips together and said “aww (tut) well that’s ok (shrug)”.....Hmm

Does everyone want one of each, a boy and a girl? Honestly if I could have decided I would have wanted two girls (not that I wouldn’t love a boy- see the disclaimer).
So just a random poll, if you could pick the number of children and their sex what would you pick?

OP posts:
gonshite · 28/07/2020 19:43

I always thought 2 girls & 2 boys was ideal as they each sibling had the same sex sibling & parents got both. I only have sisters & couldnt imagine not having a sister.

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2020 19:43

I have a friend who has a boy and every family occasion some one on her husband’s side give a speech that includes “now time for a girl”....Shock she’s got a a shit load of pressure (not that it has anything to do with her) to have a girl if she has another.

I would say from my experience UK society expects everyone to want a girl first and then to have one of each.

OP posts:
gonshite · 28/07/2020 19:46

One thing I noticed growing up was families who had 1 of each tended to split activities eg mum & daughter did something whilst dad & son did something else. We always did activities together which even though some were awful lots of laughs looking back.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Ragwort · 28/07/2020 19:51

I never wanted more than one, perfectly happy Grin.

AllMyGreggsInOneBasket · 28/07/2020 19:54

A friend of mine lives on a farm, and has had four girls. The dad was always getting asked about when he was getting ‘his boy to keep the farm going’.....like wtf? Why are you planning this imaginary child’s life out for him, ya weirdos? It’s like they were living with Henry VIII!

Didyousaynutella · 28/07/2020 19:58

I have boy girl boy. It’s hard dealing with the boys testorone fueled physicality and the DDs tendency to whine. And dealing with different hobbies has you pulled in all directions. Trying to Chanel them towards unisex sports

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2020 20:01

Obviously with a close age gap when kids are little they tend to do the same activities- I wonder if it’s inevitable with 1 of each you need to split activities as they get older. My sister and I did the same things with 5 years difference: drama, tennis, scrunchie making (love you 90s)

OP posts:
Timpani · 28/07/2020 20:04

I have one of each. First DS (IVF baby) and I really didn't mind what I had. When he was born I had a tinge of 'I won't have another so I'll never have a daughter' thought but I really was so overwhelming happy that that was it. Then I unexpectedly managed to get pregnant. I presumed she was a boy even after she was born. It was only after DH called her by her name i realised she was a girl. I was just happy to have two children after being told it was unlikely we'd have any naturally.

Now, I love both of them and have diffefent relationships with them both. But then I think i would if they were the same sex regardless as they are different people. Both love Minecraft and both do ballet though- no stereotyping here!

Duemarch2021 · 28/07/2020 20:04

My sister has a boy and a girl (18 months difference between them) they had their moments when they were growing up but were mainly good friends... now they are 26 and 27 years old and are sooo close its unreal! My nephews partner is my neices best friend so they all see alot of eachother, it's lovely! My other sister has 3 boys. I am pregnant with my first and I'd love a girl and then boy that would be ideal!! But like you said as long as they are happy and healthy that's all that matters! But yeah I'd personally love to experience raising a girl and a boy xxx

merrytombombadil · 28/07/2020 20:06

I wanted 2 boys because I hated puberty and periods as a girl & never wanted a child of mine to go through what I went through

ChikiTIKI · 28/07/2020 20:07

I didn't mind really but loved the idea of having two of the same sex, and that's what happened 😀

elainesummers · 28/07/2020 20:09

I wanted two girls and that's what I have.

If we have another I'd want another girl, although usual disclaimers apply...obviously a healthy baby is the most important thing by far.

Goongoon · 28/07/2020 20:12

I always wanted two of of the same.

UnholyStramash · 28/07/2020 20:16

Well my parents had a boy followed by a girl so it must be the ONLY correct order to have babies in. And going by the comments I had from total strangers after I had a gang of boys (4 of them, yes that’s a lot) it must be the truth.

Witchend · 28/07/2020 20:17

Before I had children I definitively wanted one of each.
So I didn't mind which dd1 was.
For some reason I was desperate for dd2 to be a girl.
For ds (#3) I didn't mind either way again.

But for people who think that they need to have two of the same for them to be really close, mine vary as to which pair are the closest. Currently it's dd1 and ds, but they've all had periods where they're closer.

Tinamou · 28/07/2020 20:21

Must admit I do enjoy having different sexes.

Justajot · 28/07/2020 20:27

I wanted at least one DD. I have two. I cared because of the lovely relationship I have with my own DM. Though my DM has said to me "no one loves you like your little boy", really helpful comment for someone who will never have a little boy.

After we had DD1, I couldn't think of anything I'd have liked more than getting another just like her. Though not just another girl, specifically a complete duplicate of DD1. DD2 isn't a duplicate of DD1, but is just as awesome.

I don't think I really appreciated, until I had a baby, that you don't get 'a boy' or 'a girl'. You get that specific baby and there is so much more that makes them an individual than their genitalia. There are so many better, more important things to wish for about a baby than sex, all of which are just as pointless to wish for, but at least they have a value. Like kindness, a sunny disposition and good health.

Lelophants · 28/07/2020 20:34

I hate how these tend to go. A lot of mumsnet women want girls (and I say mumsnet women because around the world today boys are still considerably favoured, even in this country). Then you get women arguing no way! #boy mom and that actually girls are terrible and boys love you so much more. 🙄 Actually, that's still not ok. And it's really not true. If anything, stereotypically girls argue a lot more with their mums and boys do act all 'mummys boy', but then it's still often the girls who do everything for their mother.

It's all horrible stereotyping. Worst things is we make that or our own kids.

Rebelwithallthecause · 28/07/2020 20:36

I have a boy and a girl which I love

But when I was expecting number 2 I had hoped for a second boy for his sake more than mine as I thought they’d be closer that way

espressoontap · 28/07/2020 20:40

I'm expecting DC2 who is a girl, my oldest is a boy. People have been telling me all along how lucky I am. I count myself to be lucky having a healthy baby as I've had losses between her and my son so I really really didn't mind what I had as long as they were healthy. If I was having a boy he wouldn't be any less loved. My SIL keeps telling me how lucky I am as she was desperate for a girl and her second was a boy, so she has two boys. I find it really insensitive.

Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2020 20:42

I have 1 of each and I am happy with that, however if I had been given a choice I think I would have liked 2 girls

Hardbackwriter · 28/07/2020 20:47

A lot of mumsnet women want girls (and I say mumsnet women because around the world today boys are still considerably favoured, even in this country). Then you get women arguing no way! #boy mom and that actually girls are terrible and boys love you so much more. Actually, that's still not ok.

I totally agree with you, which is why it's a shame that you then went on to give yet another gender stereotype.

kateybeth79 · 28/07/2020 20:47

I have to admit, I'm pleased I got one of each - especially since they get on so well.

BertieBotts · 28/07/2020 20:49

I think it's quite natural for women to slightly lean towards preferring a girl and men to slightly lean towards preferring a boy, and I am usually really anti gender stereotyping, but having a child is a sort of "mini me" thing, and it's much easier to imagine your future child as a literal mini you, no matter how inaccurate this is - one of the opposite gender feels much more unfamiliar.

meow1989 · 28/07/2020 20:49

I always assumed I would have a girl, found out at 20 weeks we were having a boy - no disappointment at all for me and dh but my mum was clearly disappointed as she wanted a granddaughter (I am one of 2 girls as is she).

My mum dotes on ds, she loves him beyond anyone in the world and has apologised for her preference as she is besotted.

I think if I had another (though no plans) I would slightly prefer a boy, but would be happy either way.