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Original poster

One boy/ One girl obsession- true?

153 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2020 17:24

Disclaimer: ultimately we all want healthy children and love them no matter their sex

But
Currently pregnant with DD2 and the check out lady at Sainsbury’s today was chatting to me, asked me what I was having, whether I have a boy or girl already etc. when I said I was having another girl she tilted her head to the side, pursed her lips together and said “aww (tut) well that’s ok (shrug)”.....Hmm

Does everyone want one of each, a boy and a girl? Honestly if I could have decided I would have wanted two girls (not that I wouldn’t love a boy- see the disclaimer).
So just a random poll, if you could pick the number of children and their sex what would you pick?

OP posts:
CormoranStrike · 28/07/2020 19:01

I got one of each, but was genuinely happy with whatever mix I got.

Spied · 28/07/2020 19:04

One of each. Happy with that.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 28/07/2020 19:15

I have one DS, I didn't have a preference either way. I have no desire for a girl, or a second child at all for that matter.

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Families
Wilburgh · 28/07/2020 19:18

I’ve got one of each and another Dd on the way.

I’m just incredibly lucky to have two healthy children and touch wood, it will all be okay with this one too.

People are fucking thrilled though when I say I’ve got one of each. Like it’s some huge achievement. I would have been happy with whatever I got.

Onekidnoclue · 28/07/2020 19:21

I’m pregnant with a second boy. Already pissed off with family members saying we ‘should’ have had a girl this time. Really annoys me and makes me upset for DS2 when he appears.
The only thing I would say for one of each is that o think they’re easier to name! All the boy names were considering for DS2 were DS1 rejects!

Wilburgh · 28/07/2020 19:22

@highlandcoo

MIL who liked to pride herself on "speaking the truth" greeted the news of my third pregnancy with:

"What are you having another one for? You've got one of each. It's not fair on (her son)" Confused

I had the same thing from my MIL!

She couldn’t understand why we would want another when we have one of each.

Then, when we found out it was another girl she said “oh well, can’t be lucky twice” Shock cow.

SugarHour · 28/07/2020 19:23

In my, anecdotal experience people just seem to prefer girls - on of each is fine but so is two girls, it's two sons that gets treated as a shame. Gender disappointment threads on MN are always about boys

Agree. Boys are definitely seen as a sort of consolation prize (in modern day UK). No-one seemed particularly pleased for me to have a 2nd boy and when I was pregnant everyone assumed I was hoping for a girl. What was I going to do - send him back? Have a sex selective abortion? Tell him he is a disappointment for being a boy when I already had one?

Sevo7 · 28/07/2020 19:24

I’ve got one of each and people often comment how lucky I am Confused When I say I’ve also got 3 step sons so there’s 4 boys and a girl altogether I’ve actually had a couple of people say “oh that’s a shame” Hmm as if the additional 3 step sons ruin the perfect pair! Before I had children I actually wanted 3 boys and would have been happy with whatever I had.

MaverickDanger · 28/07/2020 19:24

3 or 4.

2 boys and 2 girls would be a great balance, but not fussed really what we “get”.

Weirdly if we did have three, I’d be more concerned about the order. I’m middle of three with 2 girls and a boy and that caused more problems than if I was the only girl.

So boy, girl, boy or boy, girl, girl would probably be preferred over boy, boy, girl.

I’ve always imagined I’d have 3 boys, but we’ve got some gorgeous girl names picked out!

Luaa · 28/07/2020 19:24

I always thought I'd be happy with one of each or two girls but not two boys and I do have two girls. I think I only didn't want two boys because none of my friends growing up had brothers, all sisters and I just couldn't really imagine having boys. Now I think maybe two boys would be easier 😂

SauvignonBlanketyBlank · 28/07/2020 19:24

No i only wanted one boy

rosegoldivy · 28/07/2020 19:25

I have a 1 year old DD if I could guarantee I would fall pregnant with another girl I would probably have done it so they could be close in age and grow together. I think this partly comes from me being an only child and missing out a close bond like that. Not that any way am I saying a brother and sister can't be that close.

Anyhow, knowing that I can't choose to have another DD am really not arsed about DC2 being a boy or girl when time comes. DH obv would love a boy but I wouldn't be phased either way

bluerad · 28/07/2020 19:26

Wanted a boy for my first child - had a girl
Wanted a girl for my second child - had a girl
They don't get on very well and I wonder if they would have had a better relationship if one of them was a boy

HarrietM87 · 28/07/2020 19:28

I’m pregnant with a girl, already have a boy. I’ve had so many people congratulating me like it’s some kind of achievement - almost regret finding out! I probably slightly would have preferred a second boy because I think that would have been nicer for DS. DH had his heart set on a girl though because he’s always wanted a daughter. After 4 miscarriages all I really wanted was healthy children.

DramaAlpaca · 28/07/2020 19:28

I'd have chosen to have boys, I desperately wanted at least one boy and after that it didn't matter. I definitely didn't want a family of all girls, though I'd have been fine about it if that's what happened. As it is I had three boys, and I'm very happy about that.

GoshHashana · 28/07/2020 19:29

I'm expecting a DD and just hope I can have a second one - don't care what flavour! I left it quite late to have DC so I'll be more than happy with whatever I am blessed with.

Emeraldshamrock · 28/07/2020 19:31

Yanbu I have had comments with a boy and girl. I wanted another girl. Blush

Doordine · 28/07/2020 19:31

I have one of each and wouldnt want it any other way now, however - when I was pregnant the second time (with ds) I wanted him to be another girl. Not desperately but it was a preference. Both families also both wanted him to be a girl and my mum said "nevermind" when I told her he was a boy. That attitude made me really protective over him and start to really celebrate him being a boy.

Basically, everyone is different and want different things and people can be such dicks when you're pregnant.

whereorwhere · 28/07/2020 19:36

I didn't mind but after having my son I was glad I got a girl and a boy because it is nice to have one of each but two of the same would probably be closer as adults. There's no doubt though as children it's good for my DH to have someone who appreciates football and for me to have someone to help with my make up lol

MsEllany · 28/07/2020 19:36

I can’t say what I would have liked because honestly I didn’t care.

Ultimately I have three boys of my own and a step son, I can’t deny I’ve had wistful ‘what if’ musings about having a daughter, but I don’t have any stronger feelings than that.

Original poster
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/07/2020 19:38

The only thing I would say for one of each is that o think they’re easier to name! All the boy names were considering for DS2 were DS1 rejects!
Ok this I do agree with, so hard to name another girl.

OP posts:
Foldinthecheese · 28/07/2020 19:40

I have twin boys and, when I was pregnant with my third, a lot of people asked if we had tried for a girl. I thought they seemed a little confused about how things work: you try for a baby, not a sex. As it happened, I did have a girl, but I absolutely would have been happy either way.

crimsonclover · 28/07/2020 19:40

Two girls here and a second girl was my preference. I have friends (without sisters) who have told me they are sometimes envious I have a sister myself as we really are close and spend a lot of time together. During my second pregnancy the sonographer said 'ah well maybe next time it will be a boy'! I've chosen not to have more children for multiple reasons, but if I was to be guaranteed another sister for my daughters I think I might be tempted! Equally I have a few friends with sons who all preferred to have more boys.

Emeraldshamrock · 28/07/2020 19:40

I think I wanted another girl for my 2nd with the later years on mind for DD1.

AllMyGreggsInOneBasket · 28/07/2020 19:41

I had someone say ‘oh well done you!’ when I said I was having a dd (she knew I’d already got a ds). As if I skilfully managed to create a girl on demand! Bonkers. Love them both, would equally have loved two of the same.