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The joy has been sucked out of everything

570 replies

supadoopa · 24/07/2020 22:36

Let me start by saying I’m in Scotland so this isn’t about masks per se, but about the whole silly dance we are being made to do in order to go about our lives at the moment.

I went to a shopping centre today and won't be back.

It’s the first time I’ve worn a mask for any longer than a quick run into the local coop. I was probably in the centre for an hour and a half but there was sweat pouring down my neck. I felt suffocated and silenced. Hated it.

My baby looked at me like I was a monster and my toddler couldn’t hear me when I talked.

But it wasn’t just masks that were the issue. There was a ludicrous one way system, which makes absolutely no sense to me if we are wearing masks and social distancing. Then every shop had a makeshift entry and exit and their own one way system which no one was observing.

At every turn I was being monitored by security guards, eyeballing me in anticipation of a wrongdoing, ready to pounce.

Almost every shop had a guard on duty forcing you to rub gel on your hands and that of my child before entering.

There were queues everywhere. All but one set of toilets shut, so queue for that too, and toilets themselves as dirty as ever because so many people using the same ones and no cleaning.

Inexplicably in most shops all but one set of tills were shut, again forcing people to congregate in long queues.

All the restaurants were again inexplicably closed apart from, yep, McDonalds and Costa. Both under small enclaves at the back of the centre. But in them you are allowed to take your mask off and eat off a table more or less. But in the main, high roofed wide open walkways of the centre, the mask must go back on.

The shops had little stock.

When I dared approach an M&S assistant to ask for a size (with a visor on like all the rest of the assistants at an angle that perfectly channels their exhalations directly at the person they’re talking too) I was barked at as if I was a naughty schoolgirl to the extent that I put the item back on the rack and walked out without buying anything.

Does anyone else think this is all utterly ludicrous?

Shops will not survive this.

We are all adults with our own minds and perfectly able to manage our selves. Why make masks mandatory if we then have to do all this makeshift posturing to appear to be avoiding each other when really we are being herded closer together.

As someone who you might consider a “hobby shopper” as in it’s one of my pastimes (and I’m not interested in any opinions about having a better hobby, if there weren’t millions like me there wouldn’t be any shops at all). I’m someone who will browse and buy, will pick up bits I don’t really need but just want. I will spend my money happily- if the experience gives me pleasure.

But now I think it’s going to be online for me. I won’t be back at the shopping centre. I won’t be visiting our city centre either as it’s just the same.

OP posts:
AlphabetABC · 25/07/2020 10:14

Was there ever any ice cream in your summer 20 ?

jakeyboy1 · 25/07/2020 10:15

I agree but where does it end? That's what worries me. I agree with masks but the whole general unpleasantness of the situation I do wonder if anything will actually survive and then what?

As for the hand gel which I also agree with to an extent but my kids both have allergies to the strong ones in shops - well it definitely upsets their skin so it just makes me take them less places.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 25/07/2020 10:15

shop workers, deserve no sympathy at all and could quit their job if they didn’t like it. Which is one of the meanest things I’ve heard.

@IceCreamSummer20 would you like to point out where I’ve said that?

puzzledpiece · 25/07/2020 10:16

I hate shopping anyway and am not a browser, so it doesn't bother me personally, but I agree totally joy has been sucked out of the world as we know it

Downwardfacingdoggy · 25/07/2020 10:16

@SamSeabornforPresident this might help you decide Grin www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/24/do-you-really-need-it-or-only-want-it-oliver-burkeman

Alloverthegrapevine · 25/07/2020 10:16

Even if you make an concious effort not to buy "bits", like I do because I can't bare pointless clutter in the house, there are still discretionary purchases that people will avoid if the shopping experience is not enjoyable.

I had been considering a high value furniture purchase this weekend. Yes, you could argue it's still more environmentally friendly to manage without, but the old one is something I aquired second hand 17 years ago, so it's done it's bit. The reason I've waited so long is that I want to buy the kind of quality that will last another 17 years or more but in current circumstances, it can wait a bit longer.

Downwardfacingdoggy · 25/07/2020 10:18

I hate shopping anyway and am not a browser, so it doesn't bother me personally, but I agree totally joy has been sucked out of the world as we know it less commercialism, more time with family, less £ spent, hearing the birds not shit loads of traffic - totally joyless?

IceCreamSummer20 · 25/07/2020 10:18

This is a really good paper. It’s about living with covid19 - it’s academic but it’s about how we could all start living with the risk more confidently.

I do think we have to get more to a place where levels are risk are understood better. It is an adjustment, it’s not always easy. I for one am just glad I don’t have to commute to work in security or care homes, but still, we all have our own annoyances and that is hard.

institute.global/policy/learning-live-alongside-covid-19

Leflic · 25/07/2020 10:19

I do think pubs and restaurants are better in lots of ways now. No more jostling at the bar or overcrowding. It’s still confusing as they all have a different system now. Some have one way in and out some are taking order at the table. But in the whole it’s more civilised.

Staplemaple · 25/07/2020 10:19

It's not too bad around here, I bought a mask off of Etsy with the clip on the nose part so it's much more comfortable, but still does the job. Stock wise the shops aren't overly great, but to be honest that's better really than them being filled with tat that won't shift because lots of people are struggling financially, plus factories were closed etc during lockdown weren't they; it will probably ramp up again in time for Christmas. The staff have been friendly here as well in the supermarkets and in the shopping centre, if anything, friendlier and more helpful than before. Not a huge fan of waiting around though so tend to go early as soon as the shops open. I agree it's not great, but at least they're open now.

IceCreamSummer20 · 25/07/2020 10:20

I have loads of ice cream btw @AlphabetABC way too much! I miss going to the cafe to get it (I can’t really as have a disabled child who can’t cope at all with the restrictions). We have to get pleasure and joy where we can! Grin

Illdealwithitinaminute · 25/07/2020 10:20

Even 'Approved Hobbies' are affected by Covid-19.

Swimming- local council pools can't afford to reopen, so that's a whole swathe of society who won't be able to afford/access private ones.
Gyms- not open anyway, too much breathing, also see Choirs
Craft hobbies- require shops or online shopping
Walking/cycling/golf- these are good corona hobbies, except you still have to buy stuff, like walking boots or bikes that are difficult to judge online
Taking children out to free places- very wholesome but many closed, playparks also often closed, walking around a field isn't the same, I know, that was my entire childhood.
Walking around local parks- again a good wholesome activity, not very productive for the economy, council maintained facilities looking terrible, and attractive to the local drug dealers/youth
Holidays- well, you don't want all the carbon footprint of people travelling and then not eating out/contributing to the local economy.

It's not only retail that's affected. I agree with the above poster (not in everything they say) but about exercise being affected negatively by corona restrictions.

Sisterwives · 25/07/2020 10:24

I agree OP. Other than my corner shop, I haven't been in a shop since March. Purely because I haven't needed to.

Yesterday I had to buy a birthday card. Small card shop in a U shape. Less than one metre across the aisles. Member of staff at the entrance telling you it's a one way system, showing you the dots on the floor with appropriate distance and directing you to use hand gel. All fine.

Except I just happened to arrive a few seconds behind the only other customer. What do people do in card shops? Look at the cards and pick one, it's not the kind of item you just grab the nearest of.

Because the aisles are narrow i'm stuck a metre behind someone who is buying several different types of cards. I know the cards I want are round the other side of the shop but i'm stuck waiting behind this person and can't nip round the other way because you're not allowed due to the one-way system. Even though there aren't any customers round that side AT ALL and it's also where the till is. Then someone gets stuck behind me because they need to get to the other side too but we're waiting for the person at the front who's perusing every shelf.

I wanted to give up after 10 minutes but couldn't even fucking do that because I can't push past the slow coach in front but can't go back out the way I came because a) against one way system and b) would have to go past the people behind me.

Fucking farcical, I don't see how this tiny shop will be able to maintain their running costs when so few people will actually be able to use the shop.

And all this when there is virtually ZERO risk of CV.

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 10:30

And all this when there is virtually ZERO risk of CV.

Wow, it's been eradicated? When did that happen? The Govt really should tell us...

Joking aside, I agree largely with what you're saying OP, but what's the alternative? Hope for the best that Covid will disappear and carry on like Americans have been? Oh, hang on.

If we CAN eradicate Covid in the UK – scientists think at the current trajectory Scotland will be virus free by Sept – then isn't a few weeks of covering our faces worth it?

NekoShiro · 25/07/2020 10:33

Surely all of these precautions and measures are so we can get back to normal quicker?

The only thing stopping the virus from tearing through our population like in America is that we enforce these measures, sure its not nice but they are all very mild inconveniences.

But you're completely right, if you don't enjoy them don't go, personally I don't think the shops should of opened up yet and they can't be making anywhere near enough money and had to pay so much to redo all their stores to be safer.

Alloverthegrapevine · 25/07/2020 10:33

The OP wasn't about whether covering our faces is "worth it" from an infection control pov, it was about whether it's possible for the high street to recover whilst this and other requirements are in place.

GrumpiestOldWoman · 25/07/2020 10:37

I for one hope these measures put off people who enjoy shopping. Pick up "bits" (Christ I hate that word) and just contribute to land fill. Buy what you need, save the planet.

It might be tempting to think this but our economy, on a good day, needs this level of consumerism and now having been totally shredded it needs it even more.

If all the 'leisure shoppers' stopped spending money we'd see a vast reduction in retailing and then loss of the jobs it sustains which aren't just in the shop itself, it's the lorry drivers, the mechanics who maintain the lorries, the people who work in the factory making retailing equipment. Then all these people have less to spend too, so using their small local cafe, which then also dies, and along with it all the people sustained by it. It won't just affect working classes, next there'll be fewer businesses so need less accountants and lawyers - who'll then stop spending as much, and so it goes on and affects every single one of us.

We need people to be shopping!

Dowser · 25/07/2020 10:37

@wanderings
I’m so in sync with what you say

I really hope we are both wrong but so far I’m not seeing any evidence of that

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 10:38

@Alloverthegrapevine

The OP wasn't about whether covering our faces is "worth it" from an infection control pov, it was about whether it's possible for the high street to recover whilst this and other requirements are in place.
And I agree with her that the high street won't recover while it's like this, but as to whether it's 'worth it' from an infection control POV, you only have to look how it's ripping through the US to say that yes, it is. We can't give up trying to stop the spread now just because people are a bit fed up they can't browse in a shopping centre. The impact of Covid on our lives has been shit, I think we are all entirely in agreement with that, but if we give up now the past four months of lockdown will have been for nothing.
OLGADEEPOLGA · 25/07/2020 10:39

@Downwardfacingdoggy - I'm not a stompy feet person who doesn't wear a mask. I simply don't like wearing one and am happy to say I don't like wearing one. I also don't want it to become normal because it is NOT normal. So calm down stomping your own feet and leave my non stompy feet out of it.

SockYarn · 25/07/2020 10:39

Scotland isn't going to eradicate it. That is impossible without a vaccine. Scotland can get it down to low levels, which is what we're seeing at present. Most of the cases in my area of Scotland are in care homes. But Scotland cannot cut itself off from the rest of the world until a vaccine is there. It's just not possible, there will be cases in the future.

However, it's the level of risk. If we can trust the NHS track and trace system to contact people who have potentially been exposed, and can trust people to do the right thing and isolate themseves, then it's all good. We carry on our everyday lives as usual and take action to isolate if told to do so.

@Sisterwives is correct in that the risk of community transmission is practically zero. 1 infection this week in the region where my parents live, out of 150,000 people. With such low levels of infection it is simply not true that there are thousands of asymptomatic spreaders all over the place, infecting people in Tesco. Your chances of coming across someone who has it in the first place, and doesn't know they have it and are out and about, is incredibly slim. Then there's the risk of that person actually passing it on - and if they're keeping social distance then you're not going to get it if you beat the lottery-winning odds of being in a card/charity shop at the same time as that person.

But yeah. Wear masks. Sanitise. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! Hmm

OLGADEEPOLGA · 25/07/2020 10:41

Also @Downwardfacingdoggy please can you provide us with a list of hobbies that you approve of?

Alloverthegrapevine · 25/07/2020 10:41

But in most areas there really is very little community transmission now, so where is the risk? The hospital here, which for covid now covers 3 large towns and surrounding areas, currently has 8 patients on it's covid ward, and 6 of them came from care homes.

Cam2020 · 25/07/2020 10:46

That's sounds horrific and it's definitely off-putting.

Before today you just knew it was the people wearing masks that forgot about social distancing so you could spot who to swerve round. People without masks were still being perfectly sensible.

This is so true! Glad I'm not the only one to have observed this!

Longwhiskers14 · 25/07/2020 10:46

@Alloverthegrapevine

But in most areas there really is very little community transmission now, so where is the risk? The hospital here, which for covid now covers 3 large towns and surrounding areas, currently has 8 patients on it's covid ward, and 6 of them came from care homes.
As we saw at the start, it doesn't take much for it to start spreading. So the risk is if we lift all the restrictions and go about our business completely as normal, like they tried to do in the US early on, we're potentially facing a second wave in the dreaded winter months when the NHS gets exhausted by other seasonal illnesses.

I do find it baffling that people just want to throw the towel in and pretend like the virus doesn't exist any more because they're bored or frustrated with things being different for a while.

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