AD's say "well open the playgrounds and swimming pools then you Malaka"

[Ibake]

New thread!

Nothing - glad you learned some electrics from the electrician.

Probably too late for your dishwasher but there’s an amazing website which not only sells spare parts for every household appliance but also has videos of how to fix everything (except unthinking husbands- sometimes they are beyond repair)

From my friend a scouser who worked for airbus for many years, something to make us smile.

The husband is a trickier solution, I think

Has he never done anything wrong that you can dredge up? My DH once crashed my car, he is no position to criticise me for minor appliance-based mishaps 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

@Dowser

It looks like I’ve signed the petition but haven’t received an email either While searching through my junk folder, I found ( all sorts) this from The Crescent music venue.

I’m just sad.

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HI EVERYONE!

With the governmental advice to the hospitality industry being delivered this evening we thought it would be a good time to tell you how we feel as a venue.

As you may know, we are a collective, Bob, Ed, Joe and Harkirit. A team. A pretty dysfunctional one.

We rarely all agree. But when we met on the morning of March 13th we all agreed we didn't feel we should be open that weekend. We made it to the Monday and our beloved government closed pubs down on the Saturday. Anyway, fourteen weeks of closure later and we're all in agreement once more.

We thought we'd send you all an update into where we're at today, June 23rd.

We also wanted to give you the latest gig info (full list below) and also say we're only 4% off our JustGiving Fundraiser which is amazing. Thank you all so much...but feel free to tip us over the edge!

We're very much missing partying with you all x
OUR VIEW

This week’s government announcements, although welcomed by the likes of Wetherspoons, was not a great moment for culture and arts.

The guidance clearly states that live performances, including music and comedy, as well as background music, are off the table for the foreseeable future. Furthermore, whilst the culture secretary announced a ‘roadmap to reopening’, there is no word on how this will be funded or how long this is expected to take. We are expected to pivot what our business does, despite being more cash strapped than ever before. Unfortunately the lack of clarity has, by this point, come to be expected.

Obviously selling audiences alcohol whilst watching live music is our primary means of survival, and the same is true of many other music venues. Without an imminent government bailout, venues and theatres across the country will close at an alarming rate. Many have rents they cannot afford to pay that are due at the end of this month.

To be clear we do not think these things should be returning yet. We are of the view that these activities are incompatible with any form of physical distancing. Being close together, singing, dancing: the activities that bring great risk are really the pillars of our industry.

The government can choose to save the live sector, if it acts now to support it. That’s why we backed the Music Venue Trust's open letter from over 500 grassroots music venues, calling for £50 million to hibernate music venues till October, as well as reduction in VAT on cultural tickets. If they act now, they can prevent mass closures and redundancies across the sector. As we’ve seen in York, once a venue goes, it's much harder for a new one to open in its place or elsewhere. Frankly, those sites are always worth more to developers, and will always end up being luxury flats or offices.

We have of course considered the viability of opening just as a pub on July 4th to get some form of income in, however small.

However, this is not as simple as it seems.
Our mortgage, utilities and bills were renegotiated to cheaper rates or deferred on the basis of us being closed. Opening to very limited income but facing the full weight of these bills will quickly bankrupt us. It is cheaper to stay closed than open with extremely limited income.
We’re keen to observe what best practices emerge from the sector in terms of apps, serving techniques, registering customers & maintaining physical distancing. The guidance as it stands is very vague and potentially expensive to enforce.
We want to see if the R rate goes up before opening as a result of rapidly moving out of lockdown
We have been hard at work fixing up the venue! We’ve even managed to blag the old AC units out of Fibbers, and are currently installing them. We’re not ready to open yet.

Overall, safety of our customers, staff and community is paramount. It does not seem clear to us that the guidelines put in place adequately achieve this yet.

As such, for now we will remain closed until further notice as we see how the situation develops. This is not an easy decision to make, but as a team we are in agreement that it's the best route forward for now. Whilst we would like to open and see you all again, we want to be sure we can do so safely and in a manner that won't deepen the financial predicament we have been thrust into. Please keep checking in for updates.

We want to thank you for your support in crowdfunding: we are around £500 from our target! Throughout the process, we have tried to remain honest with what is needed to keep our venue going, even reducing the target based on subsequent grants and furlough schemes. We initially budgeted with the aim of opening at the end of June, and this of course is now not happening.

We’ve also sold well over 250 locally designed and printed t-shirts, and have some new designs and other exciting merchandise soon. We may have to stretch the crowdfund target if we stay shut without further government support, or we may ask you to simply support us through merchandising which helps stimulate the local economy and other good causes. While we were unsuccessful for Arts Council funding, we’ll continue to explore other opportunities as they arise, including commercial loans if we need to.

We also want to call on you to support the Music Venue Trust’s #saveourvenues campaign. Right now, you can write to your MP and ask them to bring up the issue of funding for the arts. Simply go to www.writetothem.com and ask them to support our open letter here, and tweet @oliverdowden and @rishisunak to let them know what you think!

Thanks for your continued support. We hope to be back with you partying soon!
T-SHIRTS ARE STILL AVAILABLE

As deigned by staff and friends of the venue and printed by one of our regulars, Nigel Rogers (a.k.a. Perseus Traxx). Nigel has set up a textile printing company - COTERMINOUS CIC - specifically to help people facing problems such as homelessness, addiction and mental health issues, learn new skills and find work.

So buying a Crescent T-shirt not only helps us pay our rent; it supports the local economy and helps local causes too!

We’re partnering with our favourite local artists, and may take down designs or upload new ones on a whim, with little to no logic. So stay tuned on our social media to not miss out!
The T-shirts will be printed to order: so please allow up to two weeks for delivery. We'll drop em off ourselves if you're local too x

TICKETS, REFUNDS & EARWORM RECORDS!

You can still buys tickets as normal although all dates are of cousre up in the air right now. All ticket purchases will remain valid for any rescheduled dates.

You can also get a refund for tickets purchased for any show that has changed/changes date if it's not convenient for you. These are available from your point of purchase. If this was from See Tickets, WeGotTickets or Ticketweb, email them, these links are to their help desks. Most are currently operating a 28 day refund window.

If you bought your ticket from Earworm Records or direct from us here at the venue, don't panic, you will be able to get your money back once we're back open even if the original show date has passed. Speaking of Earworm Records, the vinyl champs are open again July 2nd with limited numbers! Great news.

Any questions please email us at thecrescentyork[at]gmail.com or reply to this email.
FULL LIST OF GIGS & TICKET LINKS:

2020
27/06/20 Jimi Anderson Group CANCELLED
05/08/20 Willie J Healey + Wunderhorse
09/08/20 Boy Azooga + The Lounge Society CANCELLED
12/08/20 Ruts DC - Acoustic Tour
14/08/20 The Rifles - Acoustic Tour
20/08/20 Big Mad Andy's Peep Show Quiz
21/08/20 Talk More
24/08/20 Drever McCusker & Woomble
04/09/20 Black Rose Ball Warm Up Party w/ Skeletal Family, Voltaire + more
06/09/20 Burning Duck: Jen Brister
11/09/20 Weetwood Mac
15/09/20 Spear Of Destiny - 'World Service 35th Anniversary Tour'
17/09/20 David Ford & Jarrod Dickenson
20/09/20 Burning Duck: Carl Hutchinson
21/09/20 Burning Duck: Salad Fingers
27/09/20 Sambroso All Stars perform The Buena Vista
01/10/20 Beardyman
02/10/20 The Grand Old Uke Of York
05/10/20 Richard Dawson SOLD OUT
08/10/20 Burning Duck: Mark Watson
12/10/20 Hayseed Dixie
15/10/20 Burning Duck: Simon Brodkin NOW IN THE BASEMENT
15/10/20 Ed Wynne (Ozric Tentacles) NOW IN THE FULFORD ARMS
29/10/20 Burning Duck: Kiri Pritchard-McLean
29/10/20 Burning Duck: Rob Auton NOW IN THE BASEMENT
02/11/20 Evil Scarecrow
03/11/20 Grace Petrie
13/11/20 Gong
15/11/20 Burning Duck: Matt Forde
17/11/20 Ben Watt + Keeley Forsyth
18/11/20 Martin Barre Band (Jethro Tull)
25/11/20 Elephant Sessions
26/11/20 Mike Peters (solo) - 'New Standards Tour'
27/11/20 The Haggis Horns
28/11/20 York Blues Festival 2020
29/11/20 Twinnie SOLD OUT
30/11/20 Ren Harvieu
01/12/20 Electric Six
08/12/20 Rob Newman
10/12/20 Hands Off Gretel + Heartsink
2021
16/01/21 Motorheadache
24/01/21 Eliza Carthy Restitute Live
26/01/21 Squid SOLD OUT
30/01/21 Limehouse Lizzy
18/02/21 British Sea Power SOLD OUT
26/02/21 The Smyths - 'play Meat Is Murder, The Queen Is Dead & Greatest Hits'
04/03/21 Burning Duck: Nick Helm
12/03/21 Hope & Social
18/03/21 Robert Forster (The Go-Betweens)
19/03/21 Burning Duck: Dane Baptiste
22/03/21 Peatbog Faeries
02/04/21 Absolute Bowie - Greatest Hits
24/04/21 The Complete Stone Roses
09/07/21 Bootleg Blondie
19/11/21 Burning Duck: Tez Ilyas
Stay safe everyone and keep in touch with your friends.
We'll all be back together having fun before long x

Sorry new to using mn but I think your email address is at the bottom of this. Just in case it's an issue

I was married to a complete bellend, but even he laughed when I put bubble bath in the jacuzzi to wash it - opened the bathroom door half an hour later and the foam tower was taller than me!

Yeah, my DD thinks it pretty hilarious to put the jets on after her wash.

The proper cleaning stuff can produce a lot of bubbles too.

Sturgeon’s death campaign is a classic case of mission creep.

@NothingIsWrong

I shall bow down indeed.

I once checked some drawings for a new steel framed building, 2 storeys and signed them as correct.

They were not correct. Imagine trying to put a meccano set together when half the pieces are slightly the wrong length. That took a LOT of fixing... all the first floor beams were 90mm too short to fit between the columns...

I’ve had to read this twice because this morning you said you were - allow me to paraphrase - a “ditzy, klutzy clumsy disorganised mess”. Yet at some point someone signed you off as an engineer/architect.

I’ve never met a ditzy engineer...

Is that really how you’d describe yourself professionally?

You’re working FT AND have 3 at home? You’re performing miracles. Daily.

@Teateaandmoretea

The husband is a trickier solution, I think

Has he never done anything wrong that you can dredge up? My DH once crashed my car, he is no position to criticise me for minor appliance-based mishaps 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But I have a bad memory and I'm sure he uses that against me as well, when I can't remember details of when I've been cross for a specific reason, his take is that if he was in the wrong, I would remember. Therefore because I can't remember, I'm the one who must be in the wrong. All. The. Time

God I'm just watching what China are doing to Hong Kong. Remind me again why we followed their lead on such an important issue when they treat people like this?

That's gaslighting. You're clearly a bloody smart woman. Just because he stores up things to beat you with in his memory, doesn't make you wrong. Quite the reverse in fact.

Nothing just to 2nd 3rd and 4th what everyone is saying. You deserve better. Mr perfect is not treating you right he is using his 'perfection'as a stick to beat you with to make himself feel better. Soon it becomes normal to you to doubt yourself.
You need to draw your line in the sand and tell him he doesn't get to treat you like his inferior any longer and if he doesn't like it he can gtf. You are more important than his bloody ego.

If we are talking of kitchen disasters... I was once painting kitchen ceiling, up on ladders and clearing stuff off the top of tall fridge freezer...including a can of that spray cavity foam. Dropped the bloody can and the top broke off and sprayed foam over freezer door, skirting boards and oven door.😲😲 It was buzzing round in circles like a demented bee! 😲 Couldnt get it off properly so had hard brown streaks everywhere. Was in tears but my ex just said "That's what insurance is for." Got new cooker and f/f out of it😀 Shit happens.

GeneGenie I know

Whoohoo, strike up the band, throw confetti and lick a dementor...the hairdresser has just rang. I've got an appointment for next week. I'm giddy with excitement.

Can't think of any kitchen disasters but about 1o years ago DH went up into the loft and fell through, like you see in 70s sitcoms.

The mess was unreal. I didn't know where to begin with clearing it up, but I was having chemo at the time so I used it as an excuse not to breathe in dirt and dust and went out for about 4 hours.

trapped I don't think my hairdresser is opening . There's no-one answering the phone and I went and pressed my nose to the window, but no signs of life. So I'm very [jealous]

I just had a walk around town at lunchtime. The following shops sand restaurants closed at the start of lockdown and won’t be reopening.

Las Iguanas.
Cafe Rouge
Carluccios
Pizza Express
Small local independent Italian
Small local independent sandwich shop
WH Smith
Catch Kidston
Mountain warehouse
Oasis
Monsoon
Accessorise
Small independent doughnut and cake outlet
Our small Debenhams

Several of our large office employees are keeping staff working from home and will be reducing their office space.

This is being repeated in towns and cities throughout the UK.

There are no tenants waiting to take the empty shop and office spaces.

Our town centres are going to become post apocalyptic movie locations and I dread that feeling of desolation will seep into our nation’s consciousness. 😞

nothing

I can only add to the voices of others saying you are worth more than you are getting. for you and an unMNetty hug. Whatever road you chose to go down, we will be here for you.

Where are you @Worldgonecrazy even in bloody Wales many of these are open apart from Monsoon bankrupt,Cafe Rouge teetering on bankruptcy,

@torydeathdrug I reckon your Facebook dementor friend is on here. There's a bunch of them on a thread I accidently visited that think that putting children into perspex boxes with visors and masks too is a totally proportionate solution.

I'm off to listen to more or less shortly....

@NothingIsWrong I’m sure your DH has his good points (as you wouldn’t have married him otherwise!) but he is coming across worse and worse with every update.
You sound fabulous

And @nothing I can't say anything more than these other wise women are saying but wanted to let you know that we're all behind you

Just checked my hairdresser on FB local. Unfortunately she operates within a nail bar business which is verboten so think she is stuffed until they open those up again in England let alone Wales.

OH has an appointment at barbers 15th July 9 am. He is very happy to get in on the first day.

@worldgonecrazy. My DH and I have a theory re the high st. There's no getting away from the fact that our high streets have been dying for years. Ours has got so many empty units even before this. I think Covid is just going to speed this up - might even be a case of ripping the plaster off? I think they should allow change of use back to residential. We've got a housing crisis in this country but if your typical High St was mixed use then the businesses that are viable would be more attractive as there would be a 'busyness' to a town. Residents, pedestrianised zones with tables and chairs, cafe culture and shops that have carved a niche with their customers literally on their doorsteps. Got to be better than the desolation many towns currently faced with? When I look at old photos of my town it actually was mixed use.

The Bogrolls are in the zoo.
I can hear the chorus of children having FUN

worldgonecrazy my office is in Central Milton Keynes. It sounds like even there will be half empty when I finally get back. There were quite a few gaps already.