Evidence you have finally lost the plot

[FunTimes2020]

I was looking out of the lounge window and thought I recognised someone going past. From the comfort of my sofa, I picked up the remote to rewind...

Last week I went to put my pyjamas on and couldn’t find them looked in the bed,wash basket to see if I’d put them to be washed,bathroom,spare room but still couldn’t find them so went in to ask dd if she’d seen them and she started laughing and said “mum you are wearing them”.

@SorrySadDog
That’s so funny 😂
I have used the tv remote control to try to phone my mum.
More times than I care to admit.

Not me but my oh when I was in labour in the waiting room of the hospital he started going through my handbag pulling everything out I asked what he was looking for he said straight faced the remote I nearly peed myself laughing turns out it was a phone charger that he wanted lol

@listsandbudgets
Beams and toads
🤣🤣🤣

@listsandbudgets
Just picturing the beams and toads 😂😂

I am a solicitor. We 'time record' so we basically work in units of time. sending an e-mail is '1 unit' attending a client face to face might be 5 units etc. You have to time record everything otherwise a) you don't get paid and b) the senior partner will beat you to death because you are not brinigng in any money.

Last week after a 13 hour day I sent an e-mail to DS 1. It said

'Do you want me to order some pizza for when I get home? Love you darling. 1 unit'.

I put a load of washing in the bin instead of the washing machine.

Decided to leave it there.

Whilst pregnant with DD1 I was doing a crossword and the clue was ‘digits of the foot’ for some reason I was convinced the answer was four(s), weirdly enough the answer looked wrong so I even got DH (DP at the time) to confirm the spelling for me . We have called them fours ever since and DD is 10.5yrs

Did once light a scented candle to try and cover up an annoying noise.

say " Hello Mr Finch.Hello Mrs Sparrow " to them .

I've been doing that for years. I ask them questions about whether they have some little babies at home ;)

This morning I washed out a milk bottle, then filled the water jug for the table and took said jug all the way to the front door and opened it- to put the jug out for the milkman. Really.

I emptied the freshly boiled kettle into the tea caddy instead of my mug. Ruined 80 tea bags!

I lost my work keys, searched the handbag, jacket, surfaces, side of bed. Found them next day in the fridge. I hadn’t even needed to put anything in the fridge that night.

I still have no idea

My DH had left me a coffee in a flask type mug when he’d left early for work. He rang me hours later to apologise as he’d forgotten to make the coffee and had left me (and him) hot water that he’d been warming the cups with while the coffee machine heated up....oddly I’d drunk half of the hot water without even realising...it was very early!

I’ve tried to dial an external phone call at work on my calculator. It took me longer than it should have to work out why it wasn’t working

Brilliant this has made me feel so much better you all have no idea...l feel quite sane and that is unheard of.

Mine...l have lost track of the times l have been sure my car fob is not working in a multistorey car park to eventually realise l am standing by someone elses car, on a couple of occasions people have had to ask me what l am doing trying to get into their car.......

I got in the lift with a colleague and pushed the lift button to the fourth floor.
Both stood waiting for something to happen.
Then realised that we were on the fourth floor.
Muppets.

Filled the detergent caddy in the washing machine with washing powder, only to find it was cat biscuits

@CrowCat you have made my evening

@jamandtonic it's one in a long list of wtf moments 😂

Made coffee with cold water instead of hot

Getting progressively pissed off shouting "Hey Siri" at the Alexa only for the bloody thing to pipe up and tell me my mistake 😫

@DuckALaurent

I’ve tried to dial an external phone call at work on my calculator. It took me longer than it should have to work out why it wasn’t working

I've done similar at work! Tried to call using the numbers on the keyboard

@OnceBitten25

Getting progressively pissed off shouting "Hey Siri" at the Alexa only for the bloody thing to pipe up and tell me my mistake 😫

Sort of related, my Siri is voice activated as in if I say Hey Siri it will turn on. Cue many moments of “are you serious” Siri activates “no Siri not you go away” whilst at work...

Bf tried to cuddle in bed, I wriggled away angrily thinking I was still in the dream I'd been having in which he cheated on me.

@ThatsNotMyPuma

I got really happy when I hung up a (personal) phone call and saw it had lasted 12:03