Evidence you have finally lost the plot

[FunTimes2020]

I was looking out of the lounge window and thought I recognised someone going past. From the comfort of my sofa, I picked up the remote to rewind...

And then (different day) used hairspray under my arms, rather than deodorant.

Did wonder briefly about finding something to use as a strip, so I could wax, but it'd set before I could get round to it.

I just went to ask DDs if they had any homework to do for school on Monday. (They aren't at school currently!)

I tapped the edge of a book to turn the page and tried to sweep up to scroll it.

Twice began texting DH to tell him he’d left his phone at home 😳

Tried to open the security locked doors at work by clicking my car remote at them . Repeatedly , with about 5 people behind me , so I couldn’t even deny it .. doughnuts all round that day .

On Zoom and had the chat window open. Somehow got it into my head that nobody could see me eating because I was hidden behind the chat window.

Oh and I used a ruler app on my iPhone to measure something, then got a real ruler to check the virtual one was accurate.

Why I didn’t just use the real ruler is anyone’s guess

These are all so funny. What a bunch of muppets we are!

I have an Instant Pot pressure cooker. It has a removable stainless steel pot (a bit like a tall slow cooker but metal).
I cook the Sunday joint in it, then use the stock to make gravy.

Beforehand, I strain the stock to remove the fat before pouring it back into the metal pot.

Except on one occasion I didn’t replace the stainless steel liner and poured a litre of stock straight onto the element.

I shorted all the sockets in the house.

Oh, and flooded the worktop, kitchen floor and myself with beef stock.

Before bed last night I spotted a stain on the living room carpet so went to investigate. After a couple of minutes I worked out it was, in fact, a shadow.

Yesterday I poured water into the kettle, put coffee in a cup, added water and milk, and took a sip.

I hadn’t boiled the kettle...

I emptied the food recycling caddy and put the new bag in the cutlery drawer. I unfolded it neatly before realising what the fuck I was doing 🙈

@Dramalady52

Added wine to my tea instead of milk one morning! In my defence, the wine box and the 6 pint milk bottle weighed the same and it was early 😂

Doesn't everyone do that? No...just me then! 😂

No recently but I asked my sister if she wanted a glass of wine I then handed her my 2 year olds tommee tippee cup don't know which one of us was more daft her for sipping it for 5 minutes and not realising or me for passing it to her !

We had a random stranger knock on the door a couple of weeks ago and ask to use the toilet. I panicked, said we don't have one and closed the door.
I wouldn't of let them in the house anyway but I'm not sure they believed me. Ha ah

He, he, love these. Lost my work phone and panicked for 3 weeks before it turned up in a drawer it should never have been in, under a pile of stuff that shouldn’t have been in there either.. Searched high and low for my mobile while on it. Searched high and low for my mobile - it was in the fridge. Searched high and low for my mobile - it was in the bin (theme emerging? I blame the menopause!)

I once tried to open the door locking system at work by pressing the button on my car keys and waving it about rather than swiping the security pass that was round my neck.

For the purposes for this story, my DP's name is Michael (don't live with him) and DCat's name is Maggie.

One Saturday, I got up, fed the pets and made myself a coffee. It was cold, it was early and I wanted to enjoy my coffee in peace. So I looked at DCat and said "I don't know about you, Michael, but I'm going back to bed." I think I must have made my coffee with vodka that morning.
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Then, last week, I was making filter coffee (is there a theme here?). I make it using a jug to brew, then pouring the coffee through the filter into a little coffee pot - tastes better.

Took the filter off the top of the jug and popped it on top of a little pot I keep my garlic in. Made up the coffee, took the cone off the garlic pot, popped the filter in and put it back on top of the the garlic pot. Didn't realise what I'd done till most of the coffee had dribbled through.

I put the frying pan in the washing machine and the dirty towel in the sink.

Reading all these about trying to open the front door by clicking car key fobs - well, did it this afternoon just as my DH opened the door from the inside. So that was two of us realising I was an idiot at the same time.