Casually browsing stupidly expensive houses on Rightmove when I found this...

[ItsMischerWavy]

So I was casually looking at houses I can't afford on Rightmove earlier and this came up.

Am I the only one who thinks the wording of this ad is bizarre (although rather funny!)

These one picture from inside -a bee to the outside through a window so they were allowed in. Just no interior photos which is odd

The first one has only been listed once for sale in it's entire history, so it is bound it be in need of serious modernisation.

The second one could be so lovely but most of it is awful. The gold wallpaper in the hall clashes awfully with the black and white floor. The glass box prison bathroom, I mean, why?

And what is going on with the ceiling in the games room.

@ItsMischerWavy lovely... Who doesn't like a glass walled bathroom... I'm guessing it's for steamier purposes rather than performing your grooming routine...

Although you do have 9 other bedrooms to choose from!

Property 1. Let's email the agent and complain about the description being sexist!
Property 2. I'm thinking Russian oligarch/ poss mafia.

Seen this description used in high priced property auctions - it's an old saying, meaning a man lived there and never had to work a job.

How the other half live eh.

The thing I love about these threads is imagining the look on the estate agents' faces when they see the online traffic reports from Rightmove for this week - nothing for four years and then thousands of hits!

Stunning location, but no interior pictures at all means it must be in a state of complete collapse inside. And on the market for four years.

Suspect "will be treasured by many future generations of the family" is code for, "you won't get it sorted within your own lifetime".

Why were most of the pictures taking using a long lens?

It’s like some kind of weird Scooby Doo plot.

Polpotnoodle masterbatorium!!! The posh version of a man shed!

Omg, I stayed there once! It was a B&B in a past life with a working farm and a lady who made quite bitter marmalade. 25 or 30 years ago.

Gentleman's house - term came into existence because houses like this were at one time thought small, boxy and dull, but in the 18th century became considered suitable for a gentleman (ie wealthy non-aristo).

'Substantial funds required' - like a lot of others on here I think that probably means it will cost you a bomb both in terms of buying the actual property and then turning into anything other than a death-trap.

Love the fact that a midden is a selling point! My grandmother used to tell teenage me that my bedroom was like a midden. I had no idea it could be a good thing

This is my ultimate dream home. However I'm not a gentleman and I'm skint. Oh well

@PolPotNoodle this thread is hilarious and has cheered me up massively!

What a shame a lady can't live there.
POA is just so pretensious beyond belief, other much more expensive homes manage to publish their price.
It would be a dump for sure, the outbuildings and stables haven't been maintained neither have the grounds and look like they are falling to bits.
The inside of homes advertised as being in the same family for x number of years are always without exeption a mess of 50's decor which is the last time they were painted and a boiler 300 years old.
I'm guessing POA is £3.50 plus the 4 million needed to sort out the mess inside (and outside).
Am I right?

I think this is the Listed Buildings entry, and it looks as if some work was done in the 80s: britishlistedbuildings.co.uk/101160355-halwyn-mylor#.XuojEkBFx9A

Maybe the owner did it up then, and has grown old there and died, and the children (if any) don't want to live in Cornwall?

This has actually reminded me of a massive house in the Herts/Essex border area that DH and I were considering viewing. We were just being nosy as it was way out of our budget. The agent told us that the current owner wouldn't let us view it without a firm offer on the table, but that the house was extremely dilapidated and getting worse because he'd been expecting a sale for years and had done nothing - basic DIY and cleaning/tidying included.

In fact, we'd probably caught the agent on a bad day because when DH asked if that meant the owner would consider a more realistic offer it tipped him into a massive rant about how the carpets all stank of mould and animal waste and there was obvious fungus growing around the house and only a couple of rooms were vaguely habitable if that and quite frankly the only way the owner would get any money for it was if it burned down due to the faulty electrics and he got an insurance payout.

We didn't view it.

Omg, I stayed there once! It was a B&B in a past life with a working farm and a lady who made quite bitter marmalade. 25 or 30 years ago.

I'll bet the dodgy decor hasn't changed in all that time.

@ritatherockfairy

The thing I love about these threads is imagining the look on the estate agents' faces when they see the online traffic reports from Rightmove for this week - nothing for four years and then thousands of hits!

I never thought about that. It must be funny. They will think they are getting a good bit of interest.

@dudsville

Omg, I stayed there once! It was a B&B in a past life with a working farm and a lady who made quite bitter marmalade. 25 or 30 years ago.

Ooh! What was it like?

Not the marmalade. The house. In my mind's eye there was a lot of chintz and labradors.

My guess?

Very elderly gentleman's residence, died in squalor years ago, probate took years and the house was put up for sale as soon as the Tax Man came calling for his Inheritance Tax.

Jarndyce v. Jarndyce style proceedings have caused the house to be neglected, there are few ceilings left, the floors are death traps, the bathrooms are barely functioning, some relative or other has tried to claim the house as theirs, but they've been hamstrung by lack of cash preventing them from buying out the other claimants and the Listed status has prevented a lot of work.

One or more relatives, buoyed by Location, Location, Location/stupid London prices have overpriced the property, thinking it's an easy sell due to location and previously sold prices from around the area.

The estate agent thinks these people are complete morons and has probably tried to persuade them to reduce the asking price, but the dopey fools are clinging on to the hope of a life changing sum of money to recoup their losses on legal fees, taxes and retirement.

Just a guess.

Brilliant comments on here...glad I shared now.

The pics of the first one are just bizarre and the lack of inside pics makes me think its going yo resemble a shack - the aerial shot also looks old so I'd love to know what it actually looks like..... Maybe time for some Google maps investigation.

As for the other one - well, I have no words hahaha. Other than there is no accounting for taste.

Found another property not to my taste this morning here I've decided not to spend my imagined euro millions win on this as it would require too much windowlene..... And all the gold removed which I simply don't have time for 😂

"a genteleman's residence which means that it benefits from lots of period features but is not quite as formal as a country residence. " So could just be an old house with period features that in say victorian times, a wealthy gentleman would have lived there.
According to Reddit.

@ritatherockfairy

The thing I love about these threads is imagining the look on the estate agents' faces when they see the online traffic reports from Rightmove for this week - nothing for four years and then thousands of hits!

The photos are shite, my phone could take better photos than those ones.

Maybe they don't want the interior of their house on Rightmove. As ludicrous as that sounds, when I was working in estate agency (many moons ago) I had a couple of vendors who wanted top dollar for their houses but refused to put any interior photos on the internet because they didn't want people to see their possessions.