Men driving their female partners car when both travel in it

[HelenUrth]

On my road there are two couples where both the man and woman have their own car, but if they both go out in the woman's car, the man always drives it, also the woman never drives the man's car. One couple is 50s, the other 60s. Does anyone here do the same and would you mind sharing why?

Yes, exh was a nightmare to drive, so critical so I refused unless a short drop off journey (we car pooled).

I drive 90% of the time, unless we're going out for a drink and even then I drive there and he drives home. I am a terrible passenger!! Plus my Porsche is my baby

I hate being the one who always ends up driving when we go out as a family. Usually because he’s had a drink of a Friday or Saturday night. He seems to think he can just make that decision and I’m fine with it.

I rarely drive his car as it stinks and is full of rubbish. “My” car is the family car as it is provided by motability.

My Dad always drove when we were younger. He still does now and I only found out recently it pisses mum off. But he is an ex driving instructor so he’s really critical of anyone who drives so it’s less stressful for her to be a passenger so she lets him do it.

I very rarely drive with DP in the car, can't be arsed with his comments about my driving and I don't enjoy driving, much prefer being a passenger. We aren't insured on each other's car as no reason to but I don't think he would be seen driving my little car.

I drive everywhere, even if we take DH's car. He hates driving and admits I'm a far better driver than he is.

9/10 husband drives because I swear I'm going to tip him on the pavement one day. Whether it's a criticism or a pat on the head for my driving it invokes the same emotion.

Plus I like to park right at the bottom of carparks to get my steps up and he likes to walk less.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham You have made my day! Even worse perhaps when two couples go in one car the men sit in front and the women in the back?

@HelenUrth

We do this because DH actually enjoys driving whereas for me it's just a method of getting from
A to B, so I'm happy for him to do it. And I can then browse MN

I'm not insured on dp's car and him not on mine do irrelevant now, anyway we normally take the bike and I haven't got a bike licence!

Oh and I have the biggest car and the one with the good car seat and the dog crate so it's always my car we use as a family.

If you hadn't put the ages I would think you were my neighbour.

It's a really simple answer. Because we want to and I like to play candy crush when he's driving and the children can't get to me.

I think with older people often the men learned when younger and are more likely to have driven distances for work so have more confidence (plus, sexism, would have been considered emasculatating).
The problem where this lingers to today is what happens if the man can no longer drive or dies leaving a partner with no confidence to drive on motorways, or long distances, or into cities etc. I wish my DF insisted my Mum drive more as now if he couldn't do it there's no way she'd be able to drive to visit if that's ever bloody possible again
I even have a friend of 40 who's husband always drives if they're as a family and she's lost all confidence for anything beyond her town and usual routes, despite driving for work all over the place in her twenties.
So, while I get the "why keep a dog and bark yourself" attitude if you're not keen (or like to read etc) and they prefer to do it, it's not harmless.

My DH mostly drives whichever car we're in. I can take or leave driving and he likes to drive. I can do my nails or read my emails or just watch the world go by. But if I wanted to drive my car then I would

If my mum drops my dad at the pub, he drives them both there, then he gets out and she moves into the drivers seat.

I find that utterly bonkers.

I hate driving and he enjoys it! In 16 years together I have only driven him once and that was after he had an operation!

*If my mum drops my dad at the pub, he drives them both there, then he gets out and she moves into the drivers seat.

I find that utterly bonkers.*

Not unheard of here! Not that I’m dropping him at the pub often - but if I’m giving him a lift somewhere else. If I’m dropping him somewhere I know well I probably wouldn’t.

Like I said in my past post I used to get really anxious about driving. I’m fine now but I guess there’s still a little niggle. One of the things that makes it worse is if I don’t know the route, so if I’m dropping DH somewhere I’m not 100% sure if the route to and he is I’d rather he drove there, at least I can get my bearings a bit, and then I can drive back. I know he could direct me but he doesn’t always tell me which lane/turning whatever in plenty of time and it just stresses me out.

I find places just fine on my own (with a little help from google maps) it’s when there’s another person in the car I flap about it. And its not DH making me like that, I hate driving ANYONE else. I do need to get over it though and force myself to do it because, like a pp said, you need to keep the skills up.

@Cambionome Well said. You make an important point. I sometimes meet women who lack the confidence to drive long distances / abroad / in big cities and I always think it’s a shame. We don’t have to rely on men!

My DH often drives my car with me in it. I fucking hate driving but my car is more comfortable to be in. Works for us.

Dh enjoys driving, and I don’t - so we are both happy for him to do the driving when we go out together.

Also I hate driving my DHs car. It is too low for me.

DP likes to drive. I like to zone out or (if an appropriate time) have a glass of wine. Fine with me.

My car is bigger and used as the family car.
DH either WFH or commutes by train so rarely drives his car.
As he enjoys driving, he tends to drive when we go out (in my car) at weekends.
I don't often drive his because it's his 'fun' car and bloody noisy.

DH ALWAYS drives for daily stuff.

When we rally together, I drive, because he is better at navigating in that situ.

Works for us.

Omg we totally do this, I have protested it a few times as I felt it was very un feminist of me and I should set an example etc and then just drifted back into it again! I am the better driver, but he grabs the keys and offers. I'm ok with it.

Am I the only one wondering how empty your life has to be, to have space for observing such detail of your neighbours' lives, and then giving any thought to it ?

If it were asked as a general question.....

dh and I have two cars now, which we both use, depending on who is driving where, with what and with whom. If we are going somewhere together that no alcohol is involved, then he tends to drive. This is because he enjoys driving, where as I consider it a functional skill for life. To me, it's like gardening - some people enjoy it but I just do it so the garden doesn't get overrun. If it is a function where we can drink, we tend to take turns, roughly (might vary if one has to be up early). If we are going a long journey, then he drives as I like to sleep, and it isn't that safe behind the wheel