Men driving their female partners car when both travel in it

[HelenUrth]

On my road there are two couples where both the man and woman have their own car, but if they both go out in the woman's car, the man always drives it, also the woman never drives the man's car. One couple is 50s, the other 60s. Does anyone here do the same and would you mind sharing why?

[Sittinonthefloor]

We do this. I do masses more driving in the week & find it dull whereas dh enjoys driving. but doesn’t do much in the week. He’s a terrible passenger & I enjoy a snooze!

[WutheringFrights]

My DH always drives if we are both in the car. I couldn’t give a monkeys! I’m obviously much lazier than previous posters as it wouldn’t even occur to me to get fussEd about it. It gives me a chance to switch off.

Funnily enough though I was playing Game of Life recently with DD(8) and when I ‘got married’ she took the pink peg out of the driving seat and put the blue one in. I was horrified but then realised that’s just what happens in our house - it’s not sexist it’s just fact.

[Velvian]

Obviously some women choose not to drive, but the phenomenon is rooted in misogyny and it should be challenged. It is on the same spectrum as the (recently lifted) ban on women driving in Saudi Arabia.

[Deadringer]

I am only driving a few years and see it as a necessary evil, dh loves driving so he does most of it. We both have a car but mine is an automatic and his isn't so i can't drive his. (Mine is much newer and nicer anyway.)

[thenightsky]

*@Jazzled@ I did the same. Took him off my insurance as he got speeding points and didn't tell me, thereby making me a liar when I renewed and had to state we had no convictions. I was furious.

[UniversallyUnchallenged]

I don’t like driving, I will but don’t like it, if there is any alternative I’d take it

[RJnomore1]

I usually drive 500 miles a week for work, DH works a mile down the road. I enjoy the break.

[Sittinonthefloor]

My parents (70+) are both such awful passengers and don’t like the other one driving their car that they often drive separately to the same place .

[StampMc]

I don’t like driving so if I can get whoever I am with to drive I will. DH almost always drives when we’re together unless we are sharing a long journey. DH enjoys driving to the extent that when he is out with his parents or sibling he will drive their cars. I think that’s weird.

[Raaaa]

Mine DP always drives even though his job involves a hell of a lot of driving and he always complains about being in the car. I offer to drive but he insists maybe it's a man thing

[pinkmagic1]

If we take his car, he drives. If we take mine, I drive. This works out about 50/50. For longer journeys we share the driving regardless of who's car we are in.

I have often wondered the same OP and know of many couples where it is always the man that drives.

From reading this thread it seems that many women do not enjoy driving, whilst their partner does or that they do not consider themselves as confident behind the wheel as him. We have to ask ourselves why this is the case? Why do women not enjoy it whilst men do and why aren't they not taught to be confident drivers? Is it societal sexist conditioning?

[TheGinGenie]

My DP can't drive so this never happens to me! I'd like to think we'd share it if he could though

[Flamingolingo]

Because it’s like driving Hyacinth Bucket!

[CallmeAngelina]

I would say that when both of us are in the car (whoever it belongs to) I do probably 80% of the driving? Maybe more. We're in our 50s.
It has always intensely annoyed me to see what I perceive as "downtrodden little women" relegated to the passenger seat.
When I used to drive to the station to collect my dad commuting home, there were SO MANY women who moved over from the driver's seat to the passenger one once their Big Important Husbands arrived off the London train. Why????

[Karwomannghia]

We have one car and if we are both in it I drive every single time. Always. Even long journeys of about 400 miles. When we had 2 I drove both. I’ve always loved cars, hence my user name and passed ASAP at 17 whereas he doesn’t care about them and passed in his 30s. He’s not a good driver either.

[CanIDigIt]

Brilliant @sittingonthefloor

I've never thought about this before

GM always drove GF and I have no idea why. I'll ask DM.

DM drives a beast but her DH loves driving so she doesn't do long haul (regular). She's a good driver though. They have loads of vehicles including farm machinery. She drives the lot in her late 60's.

DS husband passed much later in life - he's a pants driver but they share equally all cars and driving . (2)

DB and I were taught by the same Instructor and we drive similarly and are both excellent drivers. Mid 40's never a bump. (Wood. Where's the wood dammit)

I have found I am usually the better driver in my relationships- reaction, handling, awareness....

I am a bad passenger but actually men get annoyed because they know my comments are fair.

Love being a passenger though. Much nicer

[BadAlice]

DH is an awful passenger. Not so much a backseat driver, just hates being driven by anyone and gets really anxious (he’s terrible on planes for the same reason, despite not being a pilot!). I’d rather just let him drive! I also drive a lot more for work and it feels like an l chore whereas he mostly cycles to work.

[Velvian]

I think a lot of women 'don't like' driving because they've been subtlely undermined and made to feel unsafe their whole driving career.

Think of those metaphors "being in the driving seat" and "being a passenger in your own life". - Take control and practise your skills, grow in confidence.

Driving is a feminist issue and I've known that since I was about 3 years old. I've never lost that toddler-like clarity on it.

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

Depends where we are going, my car is the family car with all the carseats in so we always use mine when were going out as a family, if its local ill drive to avoid having to mess around with seat position but if its a longer trip then he tends to drive because im better at navigating and also keeping the children occupied.

[Svalberg]

I always drive short journeys, DH drives the middle bit of long motorway journeys. This is because a) it's my car, b) he's a shit driver (e.g. missed 2 consecutive small roundabouts and almost got side-swiped on the 2nd) and c) he can't parallel park

[Tappering]

Short journeys - we split it. DH prefers to drive, but so do I. So I make him take turns on the basis that having a penis doesn't mean he gets first dibs

Longer journeys - he tends to drive as he gets car sick.

[Fionplease]

OH tends to drive when we are together, as I drive a lot with work. By the weekend it’s nice to be a passenger for a change.

[Potionqueen]

My dh and I always do this. Mainly it’s so I can enjoy a glass of wine when we go out. Dh sticks to the coke. Win win situation imo.

[IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy]

We do this, purely because I don't enjoy driving and my car is small and 'fun' while DHs is bigger and sensible.

DH just picks up the keys if we're going somewhere. He is much better at remembering routes / finding the fastest way somewhere than me and as he enjoys it, I don't see the issue.

FWIW, my dad drives everywhere because my mum insists it's a 'mans job' while my sister will drive if her and her partner go anywhere because she enjoys driving and he doesn't.