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Original poster

Men driving their female partners car when both travel in it

533 replies

HelenUrth · 11/06/2020 17:57

On my road there are two couples where both the man and woman have their own car, but if they both go out in the woman's car, the man always drives it, also the woman never drives the man's car. One couple is 50s, the other 60s. Does anyone here do the same and would you mind sharing why?

OP posts:

StarlightLady · 12/06/2020 07:36

I quite like the idea of a chauffer! Home Parker!

bellmyring · 12/06/2020 07:37

We both have cars, and I drive a lot for my job. As a result, more than happy let someone else drive.

Also, doing out to dinner or pub DH always drives, since he does not really drink much (and I can have some wine!)

Tiredmum100 · 12/06/2020 07:55

We do. I work as a community nurse so I drive around all week. If we're going out as a family we take my car as it's bigger (dh has a boy racer car). He drives as I enjoy the break.

Ginfordinner · 12/06/2020 07:57

Same here with our cars Duckfinger

Tiredmum100 · 12/06/2020 07:58

I should add we do switch cars for what ever reason so I do drive the boy racer car. We see the cars as family cars, we've just chosen ones we prefer for our main car each. I need a practical car for my job.

TinkerPony · 12/06/2020 08:00

Different transmissions his manual mine automatic so he can drive both. I cannot.

MistressGammon · 12/06/2020 08:02

We do this, DH always drives because I drive a lot for work and hate it. I’m also the more likely of us to have a glass of wine when we go out for a meal etc. He has his own car but it’s a big van type thing.

EmperorCovidula · 12/06/2020 08:02

We have two cars. One is DHs car (he needs one for work). One is the family car (for mainly schools drop offs, but also used for days out sometimes or by both of us if we want to go to the gym or somewhere that is not walkable/awkward on the train. If we are agoing together somewhere together in the family car DH will drive 2/3 times. He’s a better driver (I only learned a couple years ago).

Bathbedandbeyond · 12/06/2020 08:03

My DP drives my car/ his car when we go out. I hate driving, he hates my driving so it’s win-win?

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 12/06/2020 08:04

It's the opposite in here, do always jumps in the passenger seat when we are both going out 🙄

EmperorCovidula · 12/06/2020 08:04

Should also add that I can’t drive DHs car (too young to be insured on it for a reasonable price) and it’s not always convenient for family outing (sports car with a tiny trunk so not great if we’re bringing stuff with us).

bigfootfred · 12/06/2020 08:07

My DH always drives he doesn't like being a passenger. Doesn't bother me. We only have one car tho

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 12/06/2020 08:20

I think in some/most cases it will be down to socialisation

Quite obviously...

My friend told me i was a bad feminist cos I don’t put petrol in the car

I don’t want to put petrol in the car, so I don’t

The thing that holds me back is parking....thats it

StuntNun · 12/06/2020 08:21

I usually drive my own car unless we're going somewhere I don't know the way to and he does. If it's a long journey then we swap every 90-120 minutes.

I remember visiting my aunt on holiday in a hire car one time. When we left and I got in to the driver's seat she said, "Oh he lets you drive!" I replied, "He doesn't LET me drive, I drive because I want to." I don't think either of us could really understand the other's viewpoint.

theonlywayisapple · 12/06/2020 08:24

I always drive my car. If DH drives he wouldn’t even think to use mine, he’d just use his. Maybe the women want their DH to drive and it’s not a case that they’re abusing them like your trying to imply.

Trevsadick · 12/06/2020 08:24

I drive all the time.

Dp only has a motorbike and the car is my company car. So only I can drive it.

But when I was with exh, he drove most of the time.

Because I preferred not driving. On long journeys I like a nap. And prefer to relax. He was happy driving....so why not.

paap1975 · 12/06/2020 08:27

We share a car. DH drives during the week as he drops me at work on the way. I drive at the weekend and generally any time we go out (I don't drink much).
When we drive long distances, we share the load.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 12/06/2020 08:27

Totally depends in our house , whose car it is , who has done more driving that week , if either of us feel under the weather , where we are going etc. Also how much time we have (DP tends to be a cruiser on the motorway and I drive more responsively so I tend to get there faster ).

We have both spent a large proportion of our careers commuting , driving in central London etc so I would say we are both very experienced. It's got bugger all to do with our sex in this house.

Exdh didn't pass his test until 6 weeks before ds1 was born so I drove more then .

My df and dm are about equal as well although weirdly my dm is quite sex based in role definition and remarkably traditional but shes a good and confident driver (err perhaps too much so , she has always had more points on her licence than anyone else in the family ) , has driven in several continents without second thought. I suspect though if directly asked she would claim it's a mans job but they both drive equally.

BingPot720 · 12/06/2020 08:27

My mum doesn't drive my dad's car as she feels it's too big for her (she's very short). Dad will drive her car, and if they go out together he usually drives as he enjoys driving more than she does! They're in their early sixties.

Passthecake30 · 12/06/2020 08:28

Dp always drives my car if we’re using it. I don’t take criticism well, and he always feels the need to comment on my driving. After many many arguments, I just refuse to drive him anywhere, unless he’s had a drink and then he has to shut up or get out! However, I also find driving boring and would prefer to play on my phone/look out the window/talk to the kids so it kinda works now.

paap1975 · 12/06/2020 08:29

With my parents, my dad does all the driving. I've never known her drive when my father is in the car. As soon as I passed my test, my dad and I would share the driving. My mother always wants me to drive when it's just the two of us.

BellatrixLeStrangest · 12/06/2020 08:34

My DH has a van and I own the car. I let him drive the car when we're together as the rest of the week he's driving a clunky unreliable manual. He enjoys driving it, it's not a case of he's trying to show his masculinity. I'm secure in my sexuality that I can allow him enjoyment in life and if that means he drives my car at the weekends when we go out then so be it.
The kids choose who drives as well sometimes
I've been driving a lot longer than my DH by around 10 years. In my eyes he needs the practice.

ShopTattsyrup · 12/06/2020 08:48

We both drive our own cars for work, if we're just going out for the day, going for dinner etc. It's just who ever ends up driving on that occasion.

Only difference is if it's a long drive we tend to take my car because we're both insured on it so we can swap over half way. His car is a works car so to add me to the insurance would be really expensive

Redcherries · 12/06/2020 08:51

@BellatrixLeStrangest same here, although his isn’t a van it’s more of a utility vehicle so big enough for the whole family but not as comfortable as my car. Also, my car is like the alternative to some people’s love of handbags or shoes or houseplants etc. It’s my thing I spoil myself with and it’s fantastic to drive, very comfortable and my husband looks damn sexy driving it 😁

formerbabe · 12/06/2020 08:51

Maybe the women want their DH to drive and it’s not a case that they’re abusing them like your trying to imply

No one is suggesting it's abuse

But you're being quite naive if you think this has nothing to do with male/female socialisation. Read back through the thread...vast majority of posters saying if they're both in the car, the man drives. Most of them claiming they don't like driving and he does. Why is that the case in such overwhelming numbers? Men are conditioned to like cars from an early age, men are conditioned to be in control.. it's all linked.

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