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Anti dementors not (second) waving but flouting

999 replies

Waleshasgonecompletelycrazy · 09/06/2020 21:04

Welcome one and all. Bad days, good days...we're here for you all

OP posts:
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5
TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 11/06/2020 11:26

I am also gloomy and am sorry to see so many others are as well. This is so relentless. I hate all the talk about the second wave but I think, you know what, if there will be one, let us live now. Let us have some fun. I find winters unbearable anyway, I can't go into one without having had lots of time outdoors doing lovely things. It's not natural living like this. I am solitary and introverted and I still need my occasional trips to cafes or art courses or short holidays. I need to have the choice to see people.

I saw someone else write somewhere 'the restrictions might be hard but we are in the middle of a pandemic.'

And I sat there and thought, are we? The major newspapers have had weeks now of writing 'this might happen, that might happen, the government failed in this way.' That's the bulk of the stories. It we were truly in the middle of a pandemic, there would be little space for any headlines other than, '2000 died today,' '5,000 died in London in the last week,' 'morgues set up in carparks, mass graves being dug' etc. This was an unpleasant virus which has taken many lives but it was got under control and it is disappearing. We aren't in the middle of anything. We are drifting, waiting for the government to have some balls. There is no crisis. We anticipated a crisis, we got ourselves into a state of terror, many hospitals got unpleasantly busy, the problem passed.

Oh, except, cue Ferguson going 'twenty bajillion could have died if we hadn't locked down.'

Ok then. So how come Spain had a hard lockdown and lost more than other countries where there was no lockdown? Where are all Japan's dead?

We will have a shock if a pandemic truly strikes in our lifetimes.

Spudlet · 11/06/2020 11:27

Same here, I didn’t socialise much but we would go to playgroup, we had a speech therapist who came to the house, I was starting to consider joining a running club in the next village, if we could sort out DH getting back from work in time. Every few months I had an evening out where a few of us got together at a friend’s house to try various crafts and have a good gossip. I’d go to the gym once a week, try to fit in a weekly yoga class if I could. Then we’d go for a family trip for coffee and cake most weekends, sometimes on preschool days DH would arrange to work from home so we could go out to lunch. And every couple of months we’d go to stay with family, or they’d come to us. FiL came over for the day once a week most weeks, and pottered about in the garden.

Small things, probably a very boring life for most people, and one some people would sneer at a bit (not on this thread... but you know) but it was enough to keep me ticking over. Now all that has gone. I’m so relieved that DS is back at preschool for all our sakes, but it’s still a pretty constrained life we’re leading here. And there’s no end in sight. I think that’s the worst thing.

countrygirl99 · 11/06/2020 11:28

I'm post menopausal so no periods to affect my mood but very flat this week. DS2 should have been getting married tomorrow and next week I should have been off to Pembrokeshire for a week. I've managed to postpone my leave for 2 weeks in the increasingly diminishing hope that they might be allowed to marry with just witnesses before they leave the country for good mid July.
It's not being able to plan anything with no view of when or how this will end that is so grinding.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 11/06/2020 11:29

Morning all.

Well that's it this morning I have been proper ugly crying. I'm just drained and angry.
I've done everything that this steaming pile of crap, that calls itself a government, have asked of me and for what?. What was the point of it all...to save lives? mum died, to protect jobs.....I now don't have one....so that we'll be able to see those we love sooner?....Still waiting to hear when I'll be allowed to do that.

I want my mum back, I want my job back and I want my daughter back. I can't have the 1st 2 and the 3rd seems so far off right now.

Like I said I'm not having a good day today and it frightens me that a "good day" is not going to happen anytime soon. Sorry for the self-pity, I know you all have your own struggles but I just needed a safe space to write that.

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 11/06/2020 11:29

I am a SAHM

I joke I'm a SAHM who isn't even contributing to society by having had children Wink. I have spent most of my adult life not working for either mental or physical health reasons. I was doing a grand job sorting that out last year before the pandemic that isn't a pandemic hit. I have just never been able to function because I emerged from my childhood terrified of people and life and everything and it has taken me a very long time to get a handle on that. I'd still like to think of getting past this and functioning properly because I have lots I could do and lots to offer.

Dowser · 11/06/2020 11:29

Aww Hester, that is shit.
I do like a man who keeps in touch and it’s so important right now to maintain that closeness as it does send anxiety skyrocketing .
As you say total headfuck, it just has you playing different scenarios in your head.
So hard to block shit like that out, isn’t it.
Dh lived 25 miles away, but what I really liked about him was that he communicated every day.
So important, maybe when you next meet up you can have a chat about that.
Is it needy?
I don’t think so, when you’re in a relationship, it’s kind and lovinG to think and care about the other person..make sure theyRe ok.
People still do that, don’t they?

Drivingdownthe101 · 11/06/2020 11:31

I don’t think DH understands how lonely it is only having children to talk to every day. I adore my kids but I need adult conversation. And he spends his whole day talking to other adults on the phone so just doesn’t get it. He comes down in the evening happy to veg out in front of the TV as he’s been working all day, but I need some interaction.
The loneliness is driving me insane.
On the plus side the bubble thing has coincided with my mum dropping a day at work so as of next week I’ll have her for company on a Wednesday!

trappedsincesundaymorn · 11/06/2020 11:31

Sorry for the appalling grammar and punctuation...It's difficult to write through tears.

Bollss · 11/06/2020 11:32

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a SAHM. Nothing at all. I hate that you feel you need to label it as something different to appease other people. Sad

I really don't judge anyone for doing what works for them and their family.

There's been a lot of "sahms have it easy" and equally a lot of "people shouldn't work if they can't sort out childcare" and "just give up work and go without holidays"

Some posters are just arseholes and can't see beyond their own (often comfortable for whatever reason!) Situation.

Dowser · 11/06/2020 11:34

Well my life has gone up by half a notch.
After being very patient and not contacting our site owner, I’ve just had a voicemail from him
The council have said people can visit their vans...for the day.
No stopping over.
So yes that’s a bit shit..it’s 50 mins by car, but I can meet my dil there as she lives other side of yours so another half hour away

My SO is sticking to the roolz , so I am allowed to do that..he did mention social distancing
Are you meant to sd from your family.
I honestly don’t have a clue
I’ve just been doing my own thing.

Spudlet · 11/06/2020 11:34

Oh @trappedsincesundaymorn. I’m so sorry. I don’t have any wise words really, but I saw your post and feel for you massively Flowers It all sounds so bloody tough.

Keep venting and keep talking, and let the tears fall. They are cathartic. X

Dowser · 11/06/2020 11:34

Other side of york

rosettesforjill · 11/06/2020 11:34

@crucru I always get excited when I come across an actuary! DH is one (albeit GI) and I feel like I spend too much time trying and failing to explain what he does...

Re SAHMs - I have so much respect for you. If lockdown has taught me anything, it's that being a SAHM is a really bloody difficult job. I am useless at it! Much harder than my day job.

There was talk about elderly people having been through worse earlier. At the start of this, my grandma, who was evacuated from Hull during WWII, was absolutely of the opinion that the current situation is worse than the war. I'm so happy that she'll be able to go round to my parents' house for Sunday lunch now - she's been so lonely and she's really still grieving for her husband who died last yearSad

AnxiousElephant77 · 11/06/2020 11:35

@Drivingdownthe101 I've got the same problem here. Dp has been out to work throughout, and although he's been lovely, I'm sure he thinks I'm a right miserable cow.

Bollss · 11/06/2020 11:35

I don’t think DH understands how lonely it is only having children to talk to every day. I adore my kids but I need adult conversation. And he spends his whole day talking to other adults on the phone so just doesn’t get it. He comes down in the evening happy to veg out in front of the TV as he’s been working all day, but I need some interaction

Same here. He's doing overtime now cos they've furloughed half the staff before the scheme closes to new applicants. They need him apparently so he's doing 3 people's jobs so is understandably knackered when he gets home and I really want to talk to him and he really wants to just do nowt. It's so hard.

Bollss · 11/06/2020 11:36

Re SAHMs - I have so much respect for you. If lockdown has taught me anything, it's that being a SAHM is a really bloody difficult job. I am useless at it! Much harder than my day job

100% agree.

Drivingdownthe101 · 11/06/2020 11:38

trappedsincesundaymorn oh you poor thing Flowers. You’ve had it so tough.

Dowser · 11/06/2020 11:38

Oh trapped you have a real good cry sweetheart
We all need that
Of course you miss your mum.
Who doesn’t
I can’t remember if you said she died recently or not.
Just let your anger and grief pour out..then if it makes you sleepy and you’re able have a lie down

It’s all shit. No other word for it
Shit, shit, shitey, shit...and a bit more shit besides 😡😡😡

Dowser · 11/06/2020 11:44

Spud let, that’s mine and dh’s life
Pretty quiet with a few little bits and pieces here and there
That’s fine..whether we are here, caravan or Tenerife..we just go at a gentle , steady space.
That’s fine
It is whatever makes you happy,
So all rather shit at the moment..as it’s even quieter than usual.

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 11/06/2020 11:44

Trapped Flowers

It's so tough for you. I'm sorry. Write whatever you need to on here.

Nihiloxica · 11/06/2020 11:44

@CruCru

Wow, a pensions actuary, what a fascinating expertise, especially now when risk and probability are everything.

rosettesforjill · 11/06/2020 11:45

@trappedsincesundaymorn bless you Sad everything is absolute crap at the moment. I hope things start to get better for you soon xx

enjoyingSun · 11/06/2020 11:50

I don’t think DH understands how lonely it is only having children to talk to every day

I think that's a common problem with other family members when our children were very young I found playgroups a lifeline and 6 weeks when they all shut a really daunnting long time that went easier with time and planning and a lot of extra work on my side.

As soon as the kids got easier and started being a bit more company suddenly everyone wanted to help me out ie do fun bits with the kids and have them though if we needed help with childcare even as one off that stopped.

If kids enjoyed stuff then I let them do it but it did rankle the added aren't we good helping you out on top when it wasn't really helping me at all.

I'm not having a good day depite our house being calm today. -A close relative who was on slow decline healthwise is declining faster it's a logistical nightmare at best of times to get to see them but was hoping to this summer now can't - there's nothing I can do and there are relatives nearby but it does just suck.

DH suggested Christmas which could be made to work so it's not complete bad and obviuolsy there are many people in worse places but still.

Nihiloxica · 11/06/2020 11:51

trapped

enjoyingSun · 11/06/2020 11:54

trappedsincesundaymorn Flowers - that sounds truely shit - I'm really sorry.

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