Tonight I am packing a suitcase while my heart aches

[bloodywhitecat]

And I have a huge lump in my throat, you see the case I am packing is the case of 3 year old Dear Foster Child and all being well DFC moves in with their new family at the end of this week. We have shared a year together, a year in which the terrified child who hid at every sound, who wouldn't say 'Boo' to a goose, who wouldn't ask for food but would guard it has become a more confident, funny little person. The child who was terrified of other children and would freeze, rooted to the spot if another child came near is popular at preschool and frequently says "My friend xxxx".

I have seen DFC with their new family and it is absolutely the right thing for them but my heart is breaking just a little (and please don't say "I couldn't do that, I'd get too attached", the whole point is you do get too attached. How else could you parent them?).

Selfishly I am dreading the day they go because I can't even have a hug from a friend but I know this is the right time for this to be happening for DFC.

People like you are the ones who should be getting honours, not politicians and corrupt businessmen. You are totally amazing, and your love has changed the life of a little person forever. I so admire you. xx

YOU are amazing people. I have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes reading your posts. YOU are why your little girl has begun to gain confidence, to trust, to allow people in. YOU are her first proper steps to real relationships and happiness.You are the reason why her adoptive parents will get a happy little girl to care for. Give yourselves a huge huge pat on the back for a job well done, and be very proud of yourselves ( and a little sad too) that she is going forward into the world being able to cope. That is all down to YOU.

Today is our fourth Forever Family Day, we wouldn't have the amazing little person that we do without the love and selflessness of his foster carer. We keep in touch regularly with lots of photo updates and meet ups when we can. You do an amazing job and will have made a huge impact on your DFC, letting them go will be tough but know you made difference.

My friend's adopted daughter had an amazing experience with an incredibly loving foster family. She now keeps up the relationship and her daughter calls her foster mum 'nana'. The photos of them together when they meet up are beautiful.

The loveliest thing I've read in ages - I didn't just fill up, I cried my eyes out at the wonderful things you've done for that child. Thank you xxx

You sound like the most perfect foster parent I have ever come across. What you have can't be bottled, it's a gift.

Oh my, I have a 3 year old so this has made me so emotional. Thank you for loving this little person.

Oh my, what a bitter sweet time for you. Wow. I'm so glad she has come on so well and been able to blossom. What a beautiful thing you've done. I can only imagine the heartache xx

Also the loveliest thing I've read in ages, my heart aches for you though. Xx

Wow OP what an amazing thing you have so lovingly and selflessly done for this lovely little boy

Well done you, it’s people like you who make a big difference in this world, you have helped the child so much, its life will be so much better because of the new start you have given that child. You should be very proud of your self.

Aww bless you, my heart goes out to you. Am in awe of you and you have done the most amazing job and given them the best possible start after such an awful beginning.
You got this, eat your favourite food/drink and distract yourself as much as possible on the day. Thinking of you x

Oh thank you! Tears rolling down my cheeks here too. You've transformed that little girl's whole life. May she always know love like you have shown her.

What a wonderful gift you have given your foster child. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but you must take comfort in knowing the amazing difference you have made in the life of the child and for their new family.

I am so sorry for the heartbreak, but you have truly done a wonderful thing

@bloodywhitecat if it weren’t for foster carers like you, our DC would never have recovered enough from their early childhood traumas to allow them to move on with us as their new family.

You are amazing.

God bless you, OP

I would love to foster...but, what you said is what puts me off!! It would (depending on time) be like losing a child, how do you cope or deal with that?? genuine

This is such a beautiful thread, I have a lump in my throat reading it!

Your love for this little person shines through your post, OP. How bittersweet this must be for you.

Thank you for everything you've done for her and the other children in your care. ❤️

You sound like you have loved and nurtured the little girl that you were entrusted with.
I don't need to tell you what a service you have done for her - teaching her how to trust again, and getting her ready for what will be her forever family I hope.

OP you posted on a thread of mine and I've thought of you and DFC ever since.

Reading this make my heart hurt and swell with love at the same time.

Thank you for changing her life for the better, I can't even imagine how much you'll miss her

@bloodywhitecat

You did a wonderful thing in that year, you've saved a frightened, hurt child. And you know it is the right thing to see DFC safely to her new family. I looked after a friend's 5 mth old for a week when she was in hospital...I cried when I dropped her home I had gotten so attached. And I have my own kids at home too.

Love is love, you love her & you will miss her. I don't know how it works but hopefully you can stay in touch, visit.

Thinking of you

How wonderful that this child has a chance of a forever family which unfortunately isn’t the case for a lot of children. Sending you love op your going to be ok and your fc will continue to thrive because of you 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

I Have an 8 year old boy in my class who was fostered for a year from 3-4 before being adopted. He often tells me about his foster mum who lives far away from but he keeps in touch with. He talks about her with love and affection and refers to her as his ‘other mum’ - she clearly made a mark on him. His adoptive parents are very grateful for all that she did for him to get him to the place he was when they met him.

Be assured that the job you do is so vital for children to transition to their new lives. I’ve met a few adopted children over the years whose families credit the foster family with teaching them to love and trust and catch up with what they missed out on in their first years.