My DH is on a work Zoom, and OMG the 'jargon'

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

Scrum teams
Scrum master
Scrum of scrums
Cadence
Enterprise level agile
Continuous integration pipeline
We can drill into that later
Operate at scale
I'll drive on and we can circle back
Acceptance test driven development
Decomposition of requirements
Just to land that point on the ground
Chain of tools

That's just the last three minutes. Safe to say I have no clue what's going on there.

We work a lot in various spaces
Push meetings to the right and left
Send emails marked FYSA ( for your situational awareness)
Brief, debrief and back brief
Stand up, stand down and stand by
Make sure things are in the arc of fire
Use force multipliers
Have tasks on our slop chits
Use so many acronyms as to be completely incomprehensible to the outside world.

Chain-chain-chain

chain of tools

I have The Commitments in my head now, but that’s no bad thing.

Fuck you Na-a-lee 😂

I used to play "bullshit bingo" in meetings. Hate that bloody business talk!

Ha at this thread
I haven’t worked in an office for a while

I was going to ask if anyone has brought up the WENIS yet

Ahem, that's the WENUS, not the WENIS. Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. Yes I have seen that show too much.

I work with a lot of people use use Agile. The scrum thing was new to me last year but I hear it quite a lot now.

I loathe that kind of jargon. Technical jargon for specific things to do with a particular sphere or job etc is fine, obviously. But all those cringingly awful phrases for perfectly normal tasks or things on a meeting agenda, like "We can drill into that later" etc just make people sound like utterly ridiculous twats or David Brent.

Just get a headset. Seriously, the sound quality on an audio conference is much better when everyone uses headsets.

The built in microphone picks up all sorts of extraneous noise that everyone else will hear hearing. As a pleasant aside, it saves the people around you hearing the details.

@cdtaylornats I'm borrowing that one 😂

[quote serenada]@thatsallineed

don't forget to dive into the granularity on that.

Laters.[/quote]
I conducted a feasibility study into the installation of appropriate hardware before breaking out and landing on the ground, and concluded that the potential presence of canine depositions in the woods necessitated the wearing of walking boots.

Software development using Agile. Possibly a Devops person.

More jargon

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar: half of the terms you quoted in your OP are actual phrases used in agile. We use the same ones and it's just the description of a particular activity.... Saying that, I will mentally put a black mark against any colleague who does "blue sky thinking"

@Dillo10 cadence means a rhythm of events, ie yearly board meeting cadence

Can anyone point me in the direction of a good cheap headset? I keep meaning to get one because my kitchen is frequently full of teenagers but I’m not sure where to start or whether I need any special features.

uggmum you’re right, there’s a funny side. Hope you’re feeling better.

*We can drill into that later"

It’s the phyllo-centric version of Mumsnet’s “there’s so much to unpack in that OP.”

This thread has made me so happy in its ridiculousness.

This thread has brought out all the Agile users [waves]

Dealing with a lot of middle management conflict by the sound of it!

I don't know but what a bore

@YesThisIsMe

Can anyone point me in the direction of a good cheap headset? I keep meaning to get one because my kitchen is frequently full of teenagers but I’m not sure where to start or whether I need any special features.

I bought an Amazon Basics gaming headset for DH. It didn't cost all that much and it seems to work well for DD playing on the Xbox.

What's a Chain of Tools?

Or as I call them: The Board.

See also: collective term for twats

I work in software and it sounds like a scrum meeting, or possibly a manager's meeting.
Imo people who talk like this don't actually do any work at the coal face.

Imo people who talk like this don't actually do any work at the coal face.

Unlike the programmers, for example, who are covered in black and have the canary with them at all times?

Don’t know if it was deliberate but the ‘coal face’ bit was another example of said jargon, and it made me laugh.

[quote bigcatlittlecatcardboardbox]@Dillo10 cadence means a rhythm of events, ie yearly board meeting cadence[/quote]
The word cadence is entirely superfluous in that sentence.

The words 'yearly' or preferably 'annual' tell you all you need to know.

Thanks to the advertising in this thread I too can become a certified scrum master from the comfort of my home! How exciting.

my husband massages ideas and numbers

Lol it wasn't deliberate! I'd say it was an everyday phrase, not work jargon!