My DH is on a work Zoom, and OMG the 'jargon'

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

Scrum teams
Scrum master
Scrum of scrums
Cadence
Enterprise level agile
Continuous integration pipeline
We can drill into that later
Operate at scale
I'll drive on and we can circle back
Acceptance test driven development
Decomposition of requirements
Just to land that point on the ground
Chain of tools

That's just the last three minutes. Safe to say I have no clue what's going on there.

He's making shit up now

You need to use all these buzz phrases in everyday life!! It’s hilarious.

Start muttering on about sequential processing mechanism...

Or diagrammatic implementation protocol...

This is hilarious.
Wish my zoom meetings were like this.

Ours are incredibly boring: 'No, I've invoiced Google for the £75k'.

Prehistoric in their thinking
Shock and awe
At the top of the hour
Park those concerns for a second
Suddenly your voice is as loud as the guy in the good suit from [redacted company] with the sexy powerpoint

Ask him If he fancies a “Scrum down” later🤣

What about if they're actually talking in code 🤔

I should point out that they were at least half an hour in before I started writing down phrases, so you've all missed some seriously good stuff.

('Having conversations' has just been mentioned Toddler )

God we do scrum teams and agile. I have to be professional at work, but have been known to ask work friends about hookers.

For my sins, I’m part of a scrum of fucking scrums

Have you seen Bob Mortimer’s Train Guy on Twitter? 😂

Yup. That’s a management/process meeting with lots middle managers in it.

Is he Chandler Bing?
I was going to ask if anyone has brought up the WENIS yet?

Revolution starters
The burning platform

(They're slowing down now.)

"Chain of tools"

They certainly are!

Don't let him drive on and circle back. He will crash into oncoming traffic.

Ooh my husband pulled out the "Black swan event" today, I think it has to do with COVID and other such events that could not have been imagined prior to happening.

Thems a lot of fancy ways for saying "let's find shit to talk about instead if actually doing anything"

Agile is a project delivery method. I recognise all of those!

What's a Chain of Tools?

DH and I both work in broadly similar roles (he's an internal comms manager, I'm a business development manager, both in the City). I do like that we do a similar job, it means we understand each other's jargon

Oh dear, I understand all of that. I'm an Agile knob too!

My husband is in tax. It’s very dull. But for some reason also quite sexy overhearing it...

WFH going well in the @nixen household then

@florriepeck

Is he Chandler Bing?

Leave him immediately if he mentions the WEENIS.

Facilitate the room
I don't think the genie is going back in the bottle
They don't have to speak it like Shakespeare wrote it