My DH is on a work Zoom, and OMG the 'jargon'

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

Scrum teams
Scrum master
Scrum of scrums
Cadence
Enterprise level agile
Continuous integration pipeline
We can drill into that later
Operate at scale
I'll drive on and we can circle back
Acceptance test driven development
Decomposition of requirements
Just to land that point on the ground
Chain of tools

That's just the last three minutes. Safe to say I have no clue what's going on there.

serenada
My experience alarms me if I hear complicated words because, unless you are you are using highly technical terms, you do not need to use heavy jargons to convey your meaning. Hence the middle manager comment.

Is he on the same call as my DH?! That's exactly what I hear coming from his zoom calls. Then when it ends :

"Whit a load a pish!"

DH's work calls aren't jargon as much as acronyms. It's all things like:

Jim, how did the FIFS hold up under PODJ last night? What about the HHDH transfer from OHDW?

Fine, Mike. Few issues with the ETRN after the ODQ upgrade with the PLT and PFJ, but we're re-running the OlPN tomorrow.

DH says new starts in the past have asked for a glossary.

Ahh agile, my OH does this at work. His job title is a release train engineer. His job is nothing to do with trains, engineering or releasing anything

@Polkadotties

Scrum of scrums
and lord of lords
scrum of scrums
and lord of lords
and we shall Zoom for ever and ever!

My OH worked from home while I was on mat leave and I used to find his virtual meetings hilarious. He works in IT and the entire conversation was just a string of acronyms, completely unintelligible to the uninitiated.

Is it a meeting about having meetings?

@MrsSchadenfreude I can't stop laughing at the kimono one.

Great thread, OP.

And also this is why I'm grateful to be self-employed and answerable only to me. No Zoom calls, no twatty colleagues.

@CMOTDibbler Oh don't worry, I know it's his fault. He knows it's his fault too, but is still going to try and claim that because I scheduled the volume testing later on, the performance issues have become obvious too late. Only....there is nothing wrong with the performance according to the previously defined NFRs. Now that he's realised he has time sensitive data he forgot all about, he knows he's fucked up and is trying to say it's variously IT's fault, my fault or the vendor's fault. I've told procurement he didn't provide any acceptance criteria until two weeks ago, so we'll see. Feel like I'm derailing the thread, but it's so, so frustrating I feel the need to share with random strangers!

Scrum is a proper it term, as is scrum master.

"SCREAMING INTO A BUCKET???"
WTF does that even mean?

Sounds like the meetings I dial in to, and therefore potentially connected with software development? I'm a programmer, in a scrum team and have set up a ton of continuous integration pipelines...

DH does agile stuff and often laughs, himself, at the jargon.

We do have an online glossary at work. I am one of only a handful of people in the company with access to update it. I'm not filling it with shit like "circle back on", though.

Good grief, I'm cringing just reading these!

@Experimenopause

My experience alarms me if I hear complicated words because, unless you are you are using highly technical terms, you do not need to use heavy jargons to convey your meaning. Hence the middle manager comment.

That's what I think. That using these words means you don't know how to explain yourself properly. Or the culture warrants it.

@DasPepe DH uses all this and uses Agile. He also has a work laugh like Chandler, it unnerves the children.

That sounds like a bunch of blokes with nothing to really say having a mass willy waggle

That's what it sounds like to me - has OP said if it is all male meeting?

Chain of tools

Agile is an alternative approach to software development but it has also been used as a project management approach.
i.e. hijacked by twats

OP if your husband starts saying we are where we are and it is what it is, leave him immediately.

Sadly I know and use almost all those terms daily. I wanted to be an astronaut but I actually work in IT.

Apart from this "Just to land that point on the ground" - that sounds like other cringey phrases like "blue sky thinking" and "thought shower"

As others have said this is a mix of well defined technical terms "scrum master" "continuous integration pipeline" and management speak "cadence" "drive on and circle back". IT is notorious for using language badly it uses architect instead of design or designer routinely, but I'll wager that any job uses terms of art that are gobbledegook to the outside world as well as culturally specific management speak. "Stakeholders" is very popular in the public sector for example

*That sounds like a bunch of blokes with nothing to really say having a mass willy waggle

That's what it sounds like to me - has OP said if it is all male meeting?*

I have meetings like that all the time and have never once waggled my willy (I don't own one but, if I did, I promise I wouldn't be waggling it)

^^bold fail.