Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

500 replies

aurynne · 18/05/2020 07:59

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

OP posts:
EnidSugden · 19/05/2020 01:44

Nothing awful like I’ve killed someone... but yeah a couple of things that mean I’d never want to become well known on telly for example because things would be bound to come out.

Nikhedonia · 19/05/2020 01:49

Nope

blancheduboiss · 19/05/2020 01:55

Yes, I do. However, my own doing ones are minimal and wouldn’t necessarily alter my life (but would probably alter perceptions of me) however the ones that would be slightly more impactful are all family ones. Wish people wouldn’t disclose stuff to me!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

captoad · 19/05/2020 02:32

Yes, I have quite a colourful past and there are things that would shock my family or certain friends. My most shocking secrets don't have the potential to ruin my life - they're more things that people might find immoral (but aren't illegal). I have also done some illegal things as well, which would potentially result in a jail sentence, so that could have the potential to ruin my life. None of it keeps me awake at night though and I don't feel any sense of guilt. I'm very good at keeping myself to myself and covering my tracks. I can never understand movie plots where people confess to crimes because they can't keep it to themselves any longer - I'm fairly confident I'll take my secrets to my grave.

aLilNonnyMouse · 19/05/2020 02:45

There is nothing I've ever said or done that could be used against me. But if someone was able to mind-read me and learn about some of the fantasy thoughts I've had in the past, I'd be a bit worried about that.

Bimbop5 · 19/05/2020 02:52

Nope i think i am too boring. 😊

richele4 · 19/05/2020 02:57

Yes. Lies I told at a young age. If they came out I don't know what I would do. My biggest regret to this day was the things I did aged 14 and 15

pairofchairs · 19/05/2020 05:58

I do. A few people know, and I still worry about how it would impact my life in the future if others found out about it.

I'm also intrigued about the 'It would ruin lives' secrets on here. Is anyone able to very anonymously share an example?

Great thread though.

Cassandrainthenight · 19/05/2020 11:21

@pairofchairs,

Disclosing to your DH he's not the father of one of the kids is an obvious example of ruining lives.

Disclosing sexual abuse that someone respected in the family has done (who's still alive and well). But there's a lot of danger for the whistle blower if not believed, as in all cases of abuse.

Falsifying someone's will is pretty big and if found I imagine could ruin lives
Falsifying your qualifications, I assume that's what some posters referred to as career ruining secrets...

Caramara · 19/05/2020 11:36

There are many criminal offences for which people have been convicted but which (for whatever reason) may not have been reported in the press, but are the types of offence that would lead to those people being vilified if it ever became public, and mean they might never be able to obtain any form of paid employment.

Cherrysoup · 19/05/2020 15:34

Yes.

Upherefordancing · 19/05/2020 15:53

Well...I've been told many things by friends about other people, particularly school mums.

Not sure if this counts, but the standout one for me is that there was/is a large and very secret swinging scene going on between certain parents at my children's old junior school and another school! ShockShock

Munchietime · 19/05/2020 16:34

I have one that wouldn't necessarily change my life but would change people's opinion of me maybe.

When I met DH and could tell the relationship was getting serious, I decided to tell him and thank god I did because the secretary at the church where we were marrying decided it was juicy gossip (she knew friends of friends of my parents) and passed it onto him a week before the wedding when he went to sort out a last minute detail. He was able to tell her that yes, he knew all about it. If I hadn't told him it would have been a huge shock

helpfulperson · 19/05/2020 16:39

Most people have something. I remember an interview with a detective about a local shooting and he said he was surprised that in 3 years he hadn't managed to find anyone with a possible motive however bizarre and far fetched that motive might be.

Thesaltandthesea · 19/05/2020 16:43

Yes I do. Nothing that would ruin my life as much now as it would have done 5+ years ago but still one that I'd prefer nobody ever knew.

AnnaNimmity · 19/05/2020 16:45

I don't have anything. I am generally open about most things. I don't have anything to hide anyway (about me or my family) and don't lie about anything - it always comes back to bite you.

Sorry very boring.

walkingchuckydoll · 19/05/2020 16:46

I'd rather not have my family and DH find out that I once foolishly had a relationship with a married man (don't have to flame me, I know that it was wrong) and some sexual experimenting that I did. But will it ruin my life? No.

ChampagneCommunist · 19/05/2020 16:58

Yes.

Ruin my life? Yes, to the extent it would change my life in a way that I really don't want and neither would those around me, if they knew.

In the words of another, "I have so many skeletons in my cupboard I can barely close the door"

Gettingo · 19/05/2020 17:00

No not really

Angiemum24 · 19/05/2020 17:27

No, nothing I can think off. I’m a pretty open book.

alltoomuchrightnow · 19/05/2020 17:27

Yes, one is sexual abuse from a family member in my childhood, I could never tell anyone that
Another is a big secret I have right now, although it's not terrible, at least if things all work out it won't be, but will be life changing

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 19/05/2020 17:28

I do from 7 years + ago but I’m not sure it would ruin my life probably just disappoint my family.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 19/05/2020 17:30

Also another one which does include a few other people who would also be frowned upon as well as me Blush

Harvestsquirrel1 · 19/05/2020 17:31

Absolutely. Nobody is getting out without some skeletons in their closet, LOL. That said, I had one, and it came out, but I was relieved. But yes. Most people have something they prefer not to come out.

kazlau · 19/05/2020 17:32

Yes. I did something I wouldn’t want to be public (or family ) knowledge.

Swipe left for the next trending thread