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Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

500 replies

aurynne · 18/05/2020 07:59

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

OP posts:
Orphlids · 18/05/2020 13:42

Maybe I should blackmail the fuckers! Grin

Honeybee85 · 18/05/2020 13:48

Reading all those responses of women that say they do, I can't help but wondering how many of them are or were being in abusive relationships or situations and hiding it because they are ashamed. Thus hiding someone elses darkest secret (their abuser's) Sad.

Coyoacan · 18/05/2020 13:51

@Vampirethriller Anyone can do what you did, but coming out the other side is amazing, kudos to you and those that supported you.

thecatsthecats It is good that you have had such an uncomplicated life, but it is not all down to you.

I'm pretty much an open book that a lot of people haven't bothered to read for a while. So I think some of my youthful indiscretions would come as a shock to people who just see a boring grey-haired old granny.

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CrazyToast · 18/05/2020 14:00

Yep

Hoppinggreen · 18/05/2020 14:09

lovelymonkey mine wasnt

Loyaultemelie · 18/05/2020 14:16

Yes unfortunately from when I was younger and in a very dark place. Some I wouldn't want family to know but they wouldn't change my life, just their perception of although they know some of the circumstances from back then so might not judge.
Some would definitely change my life and that of someone else, nothing sexual.

One would change my Dhs whole world and I wish I had never been told this as it's not my secret to keep (years old) and I worry about dementia or medication and spilling the beans.

MovinOnUp · 18/05/2020 14:32

Yup, At least two would ruin lives if they were discovered.

MoltenLasagne · 18/05/2020 15:28

Sort of- we have family history that doesn't get widely shared because it's rather upsetting and I wouldn't want people to look at me differently if they knew.

My grandfather, it turns out, had a very deep secret which we didn't find out about until he got sick. We knew he'd moved to the UK when he was young, but it turns out that he'd changed his name, lied about which country he was from and how old he was.

It wasn't until he developed a disease common to his actual home country that my grandma even had any inkling and he wouldn't let her tell us about it. The rest of us didn't find out until he passed away and we found old papers whilst helping grandma sort stuff out.

begoniapot · 18/05/2020 15:46

Yes, and I'm not saying

maria860 · 18/05/2020 16:18

Yes I have three...two could potentially ruin life as I know it and one could ruin people's perception of my upbringing if I told people.
I could write a novel on my secrets but won't I hope one for sure never comes to light now as it would really upset the Apple cart.

maria860 · 18/05/2020 16:20

I also know a dark secret about someone else that I wouldn't even know where to start in telling anyone. My moms know it aswell and we have discussed it but not done anything about it.
I worry about that secret Incase my fears of the person is true because its really not good.

GrumpiestCat · 18/05/2020 16:20

Christ I've got LOADS. I haven't been a very nice person at times and I'm not proud of some of the things I've done and would prefer to completely forget a number of things and yes would be damaging now if they came to light. Well embarrassing at least!

Dillo10 · 18/05/2020 16:48

Anyone else actually a bit relieved to know there are lots of people who have done things they are ashamed of and would never want anyone to know? Or just me? ConfusedWink

shookbelves · 18/05/2020 17:02

No.

peaceanddove · 18/05/2020 17:12

I know a few. I know two teenagers whose real fathers aren't who they think they are.

peachgreen · 18/05/2020 17:15

Yes.

suggestionsplease1 · 18/05/2020 17:36

Anyone else actually a bit relieved to know there are lots of people who have done things they are ashamed of and would never want anyone to know? Or just me? confusedwink

Actually no! It's making me feel more naive and wondering if I should be more suspicious!

Cailleach · 18/05/2020 17:51

I've actually got three....just realised...

Ohthedrrraamaaaa · 18/05/2020 18:21

I don't think mine are secrets, but I wouldn't tell my parents that when I was younger I pick pocketed and got away with it, tried a menu of drugs, kissed girls and boys alike and a few times drank during school hours.. I think dark secrets are something bigger than these surely?

SonEtLumiere · 18/05/2020 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

highmarkingsnowmobile · 18/05/2020 18:25

No.

OneNewName · 18/05/2020 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FloraGreysteel · 18/05/2020 18:52

Yes I do.

aurynne · 19/05/2020 01:03

Wow! When I started this thread I never thought that so many people keep big secrets. It really is an eye-opener. Thank you so much for sharing, especially to those who have talked about the issue. I am glad to know that is is cathartic for some to share it here anonymously.

OP posts:
Pixxie7 · 19/05/2020 01:35

No.