Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

500 replies

aurynne · 18/05/2020 07:59

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

OP posts:
Grumpbum123 · 19/05/2020 17:33

Yes, sadly it would be life changing for my wonderful parents if it were to come out

ReincarnatedDodo · 19/05/2020 17:37

Yes. Unfortunately.

It would be career ending for me and would devastate my family.

I was the victim of a very well known sexual assault but due to this person's position in the community most people think I lied. They are now in prison.

Sinuhe · 19/05/2020 17:37

Yes I have... I even moved couty to protect / stop my secret to come out.

Although over the years it has deteriorated and is now just an embarrassment....

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

clumsyduck · 19/05/2020 17:37

Iv led an eventful/ fun Life so far so there may be a few things that people would be surprised by but nothing I’m ashamed of !

Other than maybe my parents finding out about one or two of the things anyway Blush

longcoffee · 19/05/2020 17:38

I have a few, but not anything that would ruin my life, more that people would look at me as a victim.

I don't want that, it's not who I am, and there's no need to plough a load of pain up, so they'll stay secrets!

clumsyduck · 19/05/2020 17:39

Actually tho I have kept a secret about something somebody did to me altho have told a few people now . I could deffo make there life a misery if I chose to

angelfacecuti75 · 19/05/2020 17:40

Sort of .... but all in my youth so that's my excuse...

Sailfin · 19/05/2020 17:41

No one knows that my apparently "perfect marriage" is a complete sham. My husband has shown me no physical affection, of any kind, for many years and I have had two emotional affairs.

Nor does anyone know that, as soon as I can work the practicalities, I plan to leave him. I dream of selling my house, which he has damaged with his botch diy jobs and low level hoarding, and buying a flat just for me.

When I finally leave, it will cause enormous shock and upset. I have a teenage ds who will be distraught.

In addition, my teetotal and judgmental parents would be shocked by how much booze I drink each night.

Oh, and they don't know that I am bisexual and that, in my single days, I had sex with both men and women.

wornoutboots · 19/05/2020 17:47

No. A couple off rather not come out but nothing huge

Celestine70 · 19/05/2020 17:48

I have secrets. Not sure they would ruin my life I just prefer to keep them to myself.

Daisylily656 · 19/05/2020 17:50

I dont have a secret that could ruin my life. And nothing I'm ashamed off.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 19/05/2020 17:52

Yes

Normalmumandwife · 19/05/2020 17:54

I don't but DH friend revealed to him that he had been having an affair many years ago and they had a child....at the same time as his wife was giving birth as well so children had similar ages....the children were both at school at that point but DH sunk a few beers that night.

Still don't know how he lived a secret life

Gooseygoosey12345 · 19/05/2020 17:56

Nope, I'm pretty open and don't generally keep secrets at all. I have only one, my mum doesn't know that I smoke. Probably because I know it's disgusting and I'd rather she didn't know (also not worth the lectures, I already know how bad it is, I'm trying to stop!)

AllNaturalIngredients · 19/05/2020 17:56

Yes! Two big ones ...most strangers wouldn’t really care and I wouldn’t judge anyone else for doing the same thing but it might make the people I love think differently of me 😫 and I’m a ashamed, funnily both are playing on my mind a bit more this last while.

One was I had an abortion 13 years ago and don’t want to talk about the other, which I suppose happened as a direct result of the abortion.

(Now I’m crying 😢)

Thehop · 19/05/2020 17:57

I do. I’d lose my husband and possibly my job.

Lincsvip · 19/05/2020 17:59

I have a secret that two of my friends know about and that’s it. My friends never mention it. My ex knew and he never mentions it. It wouldn’t ruin my life completely but it definitely wouldn’t enhance it in anyway.

AppleKatie · 19/05/2020 18:00

I don’t but my husband does and I know what it is.

sylviemc · 19/05/2020 18:01

yes but not one tht would be open to honest blackmail = only the kind that is down to my own shame and guilt- which was that my parents and specifically my mother didnt want me because i was not the daughter she wanted and made that very plain to me from my age 3 yrs old onwards- so to get over the shame of that i wrote a book about it and now she is dead it doesn't matter - but how she treated me was a constant source of fear for her as i became an adult becasue people could find me lovely and want to be my friends whereas she had none - and invariably of course i did mention thigns about my mother which shocked them deeply.
so yes some seemingly unimpressive people do have massive secrets in theri live of all kinds

Oscarsdaddy · 19/05/2020 18:02

Nothing that would ruin my life but definitely cause a lot of upset for certain

FelicisNox · 19/05/2020 18:02

Oh I have had LOADS of dark secrets.

Literally every one of them have come to light at one point or another and nearly ruined my life. It was my own fault and I took full responsibility.

Luckily they didn't but it was pretty awful at the time. My sister and DH knows but no one else.

Would it ruin my life now? No as the only people who need to know do but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make me too likeable.

I've never had much guidance and I'm not good at asking for help, I've also been treated VERY badly and my mistakes were a result of that treatment but I totally own it.

Mesoavocado · 19/05/2020 18:06

Yes. Terribly life ruining

actingundertheimperiouscurse · 19/05/2020 18:07

Yes

Jane1727 · 19/05/2020 18:08

Yes. I have a few that could ruin my life. A few friends know all my secrets but that is all.

sussexoldspot · 19/05/2020 18:08

Sadly, yes, an affair with a real lowlife. It makes me feel sick with regret and fear almost every day.

Swipe left for the next trending thread